Confidence
by HR always live on
Summary: What if Harry and Ruth had the confidence to go after the one thing they wanted all those years ago? Each other. What would have happened without the years of feelings kept under the surface. AU, HR, set series two and going on from there. Finally complete.
1. Chapter 1

**A new fic, AU but follows the episodes roughly. Just different HR behaviour. Hope it all explains itself in time. Starting at the beginning of series two.**

* * *

Ruth Evershed checked her reflection in the mirror. It was her first day at Thames House, and she wanted to make a good impression. It was a temporary year long transfer from GCHQ, but she hoped to make her presence felt, with the result that she would stay in section D. Or that was the hope. She'd been at GCHQ for more than five years and she'd become very bored. She wanted to be in with the action, not stuck behind a desk passing the interesting information to someone else. And she knew she was intelligent enough to do it.

Checking that her security passes were in her bag she looked at her watch. She had an hour. Plenty of time to catch a bus and get through the (no doubt very heavy) security. Locking her house, she left for her new place of work, very much looking forward to the new challenges that awaited her.

* * *

Ruth looked around the grid as she came through the pods. It was seemingly empty. Looking around she wondered where everyone was. Double checking the time she saw it was only five to nine. She wasn't late. Suddenly someone stopped in front of her looking at her curiously.

"I'm Ruth Evershed," she said more confidently than she felt. "Its my first day, where is everyone?"

"Intelligence analyst?" he asked. Ruth nodded once. "Harry mentioned a new recruit was coming. Everyone's in the meeting room. I'm Colin."

"Nice to meet you," she said with a smile. He seemed friendly enough and judging by the amount of beeping coming from his computer behind him, he was clearly a tech genius. "Do you think I could go in?" Ruth asked tentatively.

"Yes," Colin said. "I'd knock first though if I were you. Harry doesn't like interruptions. Your desk is over there," he added indicating a vacant seat.

"Thank you," Ruth said easily. She took her jacket off and put it over her chair, dropping her bag too before picking up a small stack of files, clearly waiting for her. Without thinking too much about it she approached the meeting room and opened the door. There were several blank faces staring back at her.

"Ah, this is Ruth Evershed," Harry said to the room at large, the only person she recognised from her interview. "Our new intelligence analyst, desperately needed in our department. Take a seat Ruth," he added with a friendly smile.

"I'm not late am I?" she asked. After all, she so wanted to make a good impression.

"You're our intelligence analyst, you should know," Harry said with a chuckle that made everyone look at him. "Right, the Burton street mosque," he said quickly changing the subject very quickly.

* * *

At the end of a stressful week, during which they had lost a Syrian agent, as valuable and rare as gold dust in an explosion, Ruth had settled in very well. People were beginning to hand her information without any reservations and she liked feeling like she was making a difference. Ruth was currently on the phone to her counterpart in six, talking about low level information sharing, as Harry watched her through a gap in his blinds.

Ruth was clearly very competent. In the last five days she'd hacked into French, Russian and American intelligence services, and Harry hadn't received any angry calls which meant she'd done it without leaving a trace. A very impressive feat. Harry wasn't stupid, he knew she was a plant from GCHQ. They'd wanted a spy in his department for years, and with Tessa Phillips departure, he hadn't been able to find a suitable replacement without help. So he'd known they'd plant a spy.

What he hadn't expected was to find someone so competent and intelligent. And attractive. Very attractive. Yes, he had noticed, and spy she might be, but she was beautiful. He wanted to spend some time with her outside of this building, but he didn't quite know how to go about it. After all, she'd only been here a week, and he was her boss. It might be seen as in very bad taste, to be linked to one of his staff. If she was spying for someone else, or a plant, spending time with her would be a very bad idea indeed. But his mind couldn't stop focusing on the possibility.

* * *

"Okay, thank you. Goodbye." Ruth put the phone down and began to shut down her computer. The end of her first week and she thought it had went very well. She had got on well with everyone, especially Danny and Harry. Mm, yes Harry, she thought to herself. That would prove to be an interesting one. She couldn't deny that she found him attractive. More so now that she'd spent time with him. He had a delicious pout and a very expressive voice, which he used very well to make his point. Add to that his air of authority and confidence and his very intense hazel eyes and she knew she was already halfway gone.

Ruth knew him by reputation months before getting the transfer and she knew that he was a womaniser. She knew that she should be wary of him, in several respects as he had been in charge of the grid for a very long time and knew what he was doing. But she hadn't expected to be attracted to him so instantly, and that pitfall, she knew she was very close to falling into. Even aware of the dangers that posed, she almost found it impossible to stop thinking of Harry in that way, and resort to thinking of her as just her boss. At this point in her musings she realised that her computer had shut down and that she was mindlessly staring at Harry's office while deep in thought. She gave herself a mental shake and started to get ready to leave, putting her coat on. It was extremely cold outside with winter seemingly come early.

She had just put her scarf on when Harry emerged from his office and gave the grid a cursory glance before his gaze settled on Ruth. He made a beeline for her and Ruth tried to pretend that she hadn't been watching or thinking about him when he approached her desk. "Good first week?" he asked quietly.

"Yes thank you," she said. "Its good to feel like I'm making a difference. I hated being stuck in GCHQ for so damn long."

"How long were you there for?" he asked, his eyes scanning her face in a way which was intensely personal and made her feel breathless.

"A little over five years," Ruth said. "I like it in London though. It's a city I've always wanted to live in."

Harry smiled at her and she noticed that his eyes sparkled slightly. "I think you fit in well here," he said lowly. "Would you like to get a drink with me?" He spoke before he could stop himself, and wished he could take it back. Thought he should have waited a few more weeks until she was settled in. Until they got to know each other as more than simply boss and employee.

Ruth watched him for a moment. If she didn't know any better, she'd say he was nervous. He swallowed twice in a short period of time and he was worrying his lip slightly. They were only small tells, but she was very observant, and she noticed. She had made the great and famous Harry Pearce nervous, she thought with a sense of wonder and not a small sense of power. But the honest answer was yes, she would like to go for a drink with him. It had been a long time since she'd been out with a man in any, even remotely personal capacity. Harry was the first man she'd felt something for in almost a year. Even if they barely knew each other. Even if they worked together under incredible tensions, which she knew after just five days of being in this environment. Or maybe that was part of the attraction, she reasoned. Tensions running high, emotions needing to be buried in work, but always bubbling under the surface. No Ruth, she thought. Concentrate on what's happening now, don't analyse the reasons behind it.

"I'd love to," she said honestly. He looked surprised but he covered it well.

"Shall we?" he asked lightly. She smiled as he led the way to the pods, very anxious and eager for what the night may bring.

* * *

**Worth continuing?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for the encouragement.**

* * *

Harry asked where she would like to go but she had no preference, as she'd only been in London a fortnight and didn't really know anywhere. So Harry took her to his usual pub, around the corner from his house. It was usually relatively quiet, but still with a decent atmosphere which is why he liked it. Going in through the door they were both hit with the warmth and Ruth was pleased to be out of the chill. "What would you like?"

"White wine please," she said. Harry nodded and went to the bar while Ruth got a table in the back near a radiator. Taking off her coat she felt a little nervous. As Harry was at the bar it gave her time to think, and she wasn't sure that was a good thing. It gave her time to talk sense into herself. Coming out for a drink? With her boss? Absolutely no good could come from that. Before she could worry any further Harry came back with her drink and a large whisky.

"You drove here," Ruth said, trying to keep the criticism in her voice to a bare minimum.

"I live just around the corner," Harry said. "I'll pick up the car tomorrow."

"Oh," Ruth said quietly, taking a sip of her wine. It was rather good too.

"So I hope you like this job better than your previous one," Harry said. There was something in his voice which made her look at him before answering, his face impassive, even though his tone wasn't.

"You've read my evaluation report haven't you?" Ruth asked. "From GCHQ?"

He shrugged, not looking the least bit apologetic. "I have to for all new employees," he said. "Even prospective employees. It's nothing personal. But I was… intrigued about you. To say the least."

"Oh really, why's that?" she asked.

"Because everyone said you were good at your job," Harry replied. "More than adequate, but very ambitious. Would you call yourself ambitious?"

"No," she said firmly. "I just didn't want to be stuck behind a desk looking at the same information for the rest of my career. It was literally looking at digits and single words all day, every day. This is more interesting. But I didn't exactly keep it a secret that I wanted to move on."

"Apparently not," he said making her smile with the tone of mild surprise he used. "How did you hack into French intelligence?"

"I'm not going to give all my secrets away am I?" she responded quickly with an enigmatic smile that made Harry's breath catch. "I'll have to have been working for you for a lot longer than a week before I tell you all of my secrets."

"Oh really?" Harry asked, leaning across the table, his proximity making her blush slightly, in spite of herself. "I look forward to it." She smiled at him and their eyes caught for almost a minute before the next words he spoke caught her completely off guard.

"You're a spy," he said, his voice reverberating lowly. Her smile froze on her face but she didn't otherwise react.

"We're all spies in MI5 aren't we?" she replied. "That's our job."

"You know what I mean," he said. "You're a plant. Who are you reporting to?"

"Is this your idea of a date?" she said in a low voice, still for some reason smiling. "Mild interrogation?

"This isn't an interrogation," he said firmly. "If it were, you'd know."

She felt a shiver run through her at the implied possible threat but didn't give in to it. She wasn't remotely frightened of Harry, even though she possibly should have been. "I'm not reporting to anyone. Other than you. Seeing as you're my boss."

"Mm," he said, not believing her in the slightest, but willing to go along with it for tonight at the very least. There were more important things to be focusing on at the moment. They'd moved closer together without either of them realising it, leaning across the table so they were near to each other and her eyes were hypnotic. They were very close and her vivid blue eyes were so beautiful, framed by her dark lashes and in that moment he wanted her, more than he'd thought possible only an hour before. Ruth had a very small smile playing about her lips as if she could read his mind. Without analysing his feelings one little bit, he closed the gap and captured her soft full lips in his.

Ruth was surprised for only a moment but then she let herself enjoy it as Harry's hand reached up and caressed her cheek softly. She almost melted into the fantastic kiss and the taste of whisky as their tongues stroked against each other slowly and deeply. Harry parted from her and was more than a little pleased to see her flushed cheeks and bright eyes.

"Is that what I get for being a suspected mole?" she asked, taking another sip of wine.

"No," he said, smiling confidently at her. "That was because you're beautiful."

Ruth felt like this was moving way too fast so she backed away, breaking the eye contact and taking a sustaining gulp of wine, draining her glass. "Did I say something wrong?" he asked quietly.

"No," she said. "I just bet you say that to every woman you're trying to impress." And get into bed, was her unspoken thought which drifted across her mind in neon lights.

"No," he said calmly, reaching across the table and taking her hand in his. "I'm saying it because its true." She smiled and turned her palm over so his fingertips could touch her. He was incredibly good at that, his touch going over her skin so sensually that Ruth thought it was almost indecent in a public place. If he could make her feel like this from his fingertips on her palm, what else could he make her feel? And where would she feel it? Then she blushed at the indecent thought.

"Can I get you another drink?" he asked quietly, noting her empty glass. Better had, she thought to herself as she nodded her agreement. Some liquid courage might not go a miss at all. Especially if Harry was going to touch her like that.

* * *

Ruth extricated herself from Harry's embrace the next morning as the sunlight streamed across the room, God they hadn't even closed the curtains last night, God knows who could have seen them. She looked for her clothes which were strewn all over Harry's bedroom. Her self control had been completely thrown out of the window the night before by three more exceptional kisses in the pub by Harry. Kisses that made her melt to a quivering pool of need and desire. She didn't fool herself into thinking she was special and guessed he'd done this with countless women over the years but she couldn't help herself.

Before she had known what had happened she had agreed to go over to Harry's, both of them knowing perfectly well where it would lead. To an incredible and mind blowing night of passionate sex. And it had been the best sex she'd ever experienced, but then she'd expected nothing less from a man with Harry's history with women. Of course he'd be good in bed. And now she was just one more to add to the statistic, she thought sadly as she adjusted her bra. A shame, but she wouldn't give back last night for anything. Even if he thought she was reporting to someone else.

GCHQ had planted her as a mole, but when they asked for information (and they would ask, it was only a matter of time) she had no intention of giving them what they wanted. She was already stationed in MI5, they had no control over her placement any longer. Ironically enough, it was Harry who had that power. So she didn't feel obligated to give them information which they'd want. Especially after what happened with Harry last night, and in the early hours of this morning. She most certainly felt her loyalty at work would have to be with Harry Pearce, not her previous employers. Even had last night not happened. Even had she simply gone home and Harry had not asked her for a drink. Or the rest of it which had happened afterwards.

Zipping up her skirt and slipping her shoes on, she knew that her hair would be a mess. It always was after sex, so she searched through her pockets and had a stroke of luck. A hair tie was in the bottom of her pocket and she grabbed her hair out of the way quickly. It didn't look too bad when it was tied up. She checked that she had her purse so she could grab a taxi before she woke Harry up.

"Harry?" she murmured.

"Mm?" he said, slowly coming back to the land of the living.

"I'm going," she said quietly.

"What? Why?" he asked groggily. "It's the weekend."

"I just… should go," she said lamely. She kissed him on the lips briefly. "I'll see you on Monday."

"Wait, why are you going?!" he said loudly, realising that Ruth had every intention of leaving his house and having no idea to the reason why.

"Last night was… good," she finished lamely. "But I'm not a fool. I don't expect more. I'm going home Harry." She smiled at him once and then left his house, leaving a speechless and flabbergasted Harry, sitting up in bed, wondering why she felt the need to make such a swift exit. He felt completely amazed that this beautiful woman had just left him, early on Saturday morning. He collapsed back in bed, and wondered just what on earth he'd done wrong.

* * *

**This was planned to happen soon, but I'm not sure I've pulled it off. Thoughts?**


	3. Chapter 3

Monday morning came around far too quickly for Ruth's liking. Much to her embarrassment she hadn't called Harry, even though she'd wanted to. As soon as she'd signed her contract with MI5, Harry's number had been given to her, just in case of emergencies.

She wondered if she'd made too much of a rash decision, leaving when she had. After all, he'd barely been awake when she'd slipped out of his house, and it didn't feel like a dignified way to behave. But then, was going over to a man's house for sex, a man she barely knew dignified either? But she knew how men like Harry operated. As much as she didn't like it, she guessed that she'd simple be a notch in his very large bedpost. But she couldn't feel sorry for herself either, as she'd made the choice to go home with him. And she didn't regret it. It had been a… memorable evening. But that didn't make her look forward to seeing him at work either.

Glancing at her watch she realised she had to leave soon, otherwise she was going to be late. And that, added to the rest of her worries was not going to be a good start to her second week.

"Hi Malcolm," Ruth said, taking her seat next to him when she arrived.

"Good weekend?" he asked, being friendly.

"Yes," she said honestly. After all, Friday night would stick in her mind for a long while yet. "You?"

"Not bad," he said easily. "Oh, Harry said he wanted to see you when you got in."

"In trouble already are you?" Colin teased as he passed her. Ruth smiled, but her heart wasn't in it, and Malcolm noticed.

"Oh, it won't be that bad. Harry's not a monster."

"I've realised that Malcolm, thank you," she said. Then realising that she sounded slightly bitter she changed her words. "How long've you known him?"

"Fifteen years, give or take," Malcolm replied. "One of my closest friends actually." He sounded like he was surprised by this fact. "Anyway, he won't shout unless you've been giving information to the Americans. Then you might have an angry Harry on your hands."

"Thanks Malcolm," she said smiling. She took her jacket off before heading into Harry's office, wondering what on earth he would say. But she was about ninety percent sure it would have nothing to do with work.

* * *

Over the weekend Harry had been debating calling Ruth, and had gone back and forth, eventually settling with no. He was desperately curious as to why she left so early. Before he'd even woken up properly. Was she just using him for sex? Somehow he didn't think so. He was good at reading people and she wasn't that type of woman. He had enjoyed Friday night immensely, and it wouldn't have mattered to him, had they not ended up in bed together. Although, as they had, he would admit to enjoying it thoroughly. And being very eager to repeat the experience. But he hadn't seen her or heard from her in forty eight hours. He wondered why she was avoiding him. After all, would it have been so much trouble to pick up the phone?

But, he reasoned, that worked both ways, and he hadn't called either. He had got this far in his thinking when he saw Ruth approaching his office, looking confident except for the slightly wary look in her eyes. She opened the door without knocking and closed it behind her. Harry was surprised by the unexpected jolt he felt in his stomach. He wanted more than sex with this woman. He wanted to own her, body and soul. To watch those blue eyes for hours on end. And none of that would happen from just one night.

"Malcolm said you wanted to see me," Ruth said. "I assume its not about work." Just a small hint of a question.

"You know perfectly well what its about," he said in a voice that sent shivers to her very core. Low and perfectly toned to make her weak at the knees. She sat down so she wouldn't have that problem. Two seconds later, Harry stood up and she wondered if he'd done this on purpose to make her feel intimidated. If he had, it was working. Spectacularly. "I need to know why you just left on Saturday morning?" he asked, hazel eyes burning into hers. "Why didn't you stay? I wanted you to stay."

Ruth was about to answer when her eyes caught sight of the security camera over Harry's shoulder. He followed her eye line and shrugged. "I've switched it off," he said. "The footage will just loop itself. I wanted privacy."

"Good," Ruth said with a dry mouth. She didn't know what was going to happen, but she was absolutely sure she didn't want it recorded. "I didn't wait for you to explain things to me," Ruth said, trying to remain calm. "I'm not some unfinished business for you to deal with, I know how these things work."

Harry paused, thinking hard before speaking. "Are you under the impression that I was going to take you to bed and just dump you at the next opportunity?" The words weren't that explicit, but the fact that he was leaning over her and whispering in her ear made her want to clear his desk of papers and have him make love to her all over again.

"Harry, I've looked you up," she said, rolling her chair away from him slightly, so she could have some breathing space. "Not that I needed to, your history with women is prolific and famous in our very tight intelligence circles. And I'm not in the business of trying to make men change. It doesn't work."

He leaned against his desk, still staring into her blue eyes for a long minute. He didn't know quite what to say to that, because it was true that his history with women was less that honourable. And it was also true that after getting a woman into bed he usually had no further interest in them. (Unless they were a spy for a foreign power so he could get information out of them, but that was a completely different story.) But Ruth was different. She was intelligent and breathtakingly beautiful. As well as that, there was something under the surface of her which he was desperate to know. To understand her, something he had rarely, if ever felt with another woman. If he told her that she was different, she wouldn't believe him. She would think of it as just a line that he'd used on his previous conquests. Ruth clearly had her mind made up about his philandering and he wondered if there was anything he could say which would change her mind. There probably wasn't, he surmised quickly. So he did the best he could with what he had.

"Ruth, I had no intention of kicking you out of my bed," he said as he walked around her and drew the blinds completely closed. Ruth didn't like that, she had the feeling that she'd lost control of what was happening. If she'd ever really been in control. "I know my history is… dubious at best. Although the fact you looked into it in the first place tells me something." Ruth blushed at that, because he was absolutely correct. It did. "You're not like other women. You're special. I wanted to spend the rest of the day with you, you would not have got a fast track to the door, had it been my choice."

"Would we have spent the day in bed?" Ruth asked, her eyebrow going up significantly.

"Well, I'm sure that would have been on the agenda," he purred at her. Christ this man was so sexy when he wanted to be! "I rather enjoyed having you underneath me, and I know from your reaction the feeling was… more than reciprocated."

"Harry… we're at work," she said desperately, trying to get out of the conversation which was heading into dangerous waters exceedingly quickly.

"And we all work late every single day," he murmured into her ear. "We can have five minutes."

"No, Harry," she said firmly, standing up. "I care what people think of me, and I'm not going to be the woman who's sleeping with the boss to get ahead. I won't be her."

"That's not what I was suggesting," he said, the passion not entirely faded from his eyes. "And we both know that's not why you slept with me. Ruth I want more. I want to spend time with you, not just one night." The phone rang and Harry sighed but he knew he couldn't ignore it. "Think about it. Please." He sealed the statement with a kiss on the exposed skin of her neck before retreating around the other side of his desk and answering the phone with a curt "Harry Pearce."

Ruth knew from that that she was dismissed and left his office without looking back. But her mind was in more turmoil than ever before. That had not been what she had expected. She thought she'd be treated like… almost like unfinished business. That had thrown her off her guard. And what to do now, she had no idea.

However, she didn't have any time at all to dwell on it. The grid was filled with alarms and flashing red lights before she sat down at her desk. The noise was so loud her eardrums were ringing and she wondered what the hell was going on.

"Tell me what's going on!" Harry shouted as he emerged from his office. He looked at Malcolm for an explanation, the techie typing incredibly quickly, trying to solve this.

"We're being attacked remotely," Malcolm said, his fingers not slowing once as Colin next to him began to join suit. "Let me just… ah God, they're getting the data on the tertiary level of our encryption system on level H."

"In English Malcolm, please!" Harry shouted. "And will someone stop that racket!"

Ruth logged on and tried to find an override program for the alarm, to keep Harry's blood pressure down as Malcolm worked on the technical side.

"They're after information and we're trying to lock them out," Malcolm said simply as his fingers went faster than Harry could watch. "Give me a minute…" he said almost to himself. "There!" As soon as he spoke, the alarm vanished and the lights flicked back on.

"Good, now I can think. Tell me what the hell is going on! Meeting room in five minutes." Harry's gaze lingered on Ruth a fraction longer than it did on anyone else, but no one else seemed to notice, much to her relief. What she had told him was true. She didn't want to be the sad office girl, sleeping with the boss. Even if she was actually sleeping with him. Shaking her head, she collected her files and went to the meeting room. She would think about herself and Harry when this crisis was over.

* * *

**I am following the episodes roughly but it's been a while since I've watched series two, so I apologise for any mistakes. Thank you for the great and encouraging reviews. I'm making this up as I go along so no idea where I'm going next!**!


	4. Promises

**Short update for my fabulous reviewers. Hope Ruth isn't too out of character near the end.**

* * *

On Wednesday night, once they'd caught their teenage hacker, Ruth was organising some files to be sent back to registry when she felt a hand on her arm, making her jump. "Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you," Harry said, dropping his hand quickly. "Would you like a drink?"

"Is that wise?" Ruth asked as she glanced around the grid, pleased that no one was in ear shot and most people had gone home.

"I'd like to talk to you," he said sincerely. "Away from prying eyes, pricking ears and twenty four hour cameras."

"Alright," she said after a moments thought. "I need about half an hour to finish these files."

"Okay," he said, relieved that she'd agreed. He'd have waited a good deal longer than thirty minutes for her. "I'll be in my office." Ruth nodded as she picked up the files, and headed down to registry, her arms full. What did Harry want? Well, whatever it was, she vowed to exercise a bit more self control than she had last time she'd gone out for a drink with him.

* * *

Ruth wasn't sure it was a great idea to go back to the same pub, but she didn't have a better suggestion and she wanted to find out what he wanted and get it over with quickly. So that she wouldn't be tempted. Harry, like a gentleman got the drinks in and brought hers over, their fingers brushing against each other as she took the glass.

"What did you want to talk about?" she asked quickly.

"How did you know?" he asked quietly. She frowned, needing more information. "About the quote. The titans, Zeus and Kronos connections. How did you know?"

Ruth smiled, pleased that her intelligence was being praised, even if in a roundabout way. "I spent three years reading the classics and a lot of ancient texts at Oxford," she said. "I knew where to look."

"Still, that was… brilliant." Harry nodded in her direction and Ruth fought the blush that was burning on her cheeks at the compliment. "Would you like to go out to dinner with me one night?"

"No." She spoke so surely and firmly that Harry was hurt, even if he tried to hide it. "You don't trust me Harry."

He didn't answer straight away because, professionally he wasn't sure that he did. But otherwise… The silence seemed to be confirmation and she smiled to herself. "Harry, there is so much that is… difficult about this. Us. Outside of work. You're my boss and it will seem to everyone that I'm just trying to sleep my way ahead, which for the record I'm not."

"No, I realise that," he agreed.

"Also, I refuse to sleep with someone who doesn't trust me," she said firmly.

"It didn't stop you last week," he said with a smile on his face.

"Yes, well that was a one time lapse in judgement," she said, smiling back as their eyes caught and held, her lips twitching.

"I seem to remember it being a three time lapse in judgement," Harry said, eyes on fire.

"Yes, well… it won't happen again. At least, not until you change your opinion of me."

"You have absolutely no idea what I think of you," he said in a low voice. The flirting between them was now so clear in the air between them that Ruth was surprised the air wasn't crackling with the tension between them.

"Well, enlighten me," she teased, eyes glowing.

"I think I'll keep that to myself for the time being," he said, smiling at her. She smiled back for a moment before returning to her drink.

"I'm going home," she said certainly. "Alone," she added as he gave every indication of following her. He smirked at her.

"I won't argue," he said. As she passed him, he gripped her arm to stop her leaving. She looked down at him, waiting for him to speak, her flesh burning from his grip. "But I will get you in bed again Ruth. One way or another." He let her go and for a moment Ruth stood stock still, completely forgetting what she was doing. Then she leaned over and whispered, "Promises promises Harry." She kissed his cheek before she left the pub, giving Harry a brief backwards glance as he smiled at her, the door closing after her. He returned to his whisky, thinking to himself. He didn't blame her for holding back, and he didn't want her to be labelled as sleeping with the boss simply for her career either. But they both knew it was more than that. Harry had no intention of leaving her alone, he was far too attracted to her for that, but he didn't know how to get closer to her. If she was stubborn and kept saying no, it would prove… tricky to say the least. But he knew she was attracted to him. The tiny blushes on her cheeks and the look in her eyes made that clear to him.

Draining his whisky he thought about going home. After all, it had been a long day.

* * *

**Please leave a review! I love to read them and they mean so much. Thank you.**


	5. Chapter 5

Nothing further was mentioned about their private relationship, or lack of one for a couple of weeks. Both of them threw themselves into their work, only occasionally catching each others eyes through the glass of Harry's office. But as their case load was very heavy and neither had the time for extra curricular activities. They were investigating a huge sum of money that had gone missing from a British bank. Two billion pounds had been stolen, and Downing street had tasked them with finding out where it had gone. Ruth had been checking one of her alias's email inbox when she got a message, which she opened. Checking which name was on the account she sighed as she read it. Downing street wanted her to tell them exactly what MI5 were doing in the bank. They had secrets there which they didn't want uncovered, that much Ruth and the rest of the grid had already assumed. This message pretty much confirmed it.

She was supposed to tell them exactly what section D had done. That they'd put an agent in the bank (which hadn't been sanctioned) but she no longer worked for GCHQ or anything to do with reporting directly to Downing street. She had no intention of doing anything which would jeopardise her position in MI5. She liked her job too much. So she printed out the email and took it straight into Harry's office, without knocking.

"You curl your hand into a fist and hit your knuckles on the door repeatedly to announce your presence," Harry teased, eyes lighting up when he saw her. The spark faded when he saw the look on her face, and realised that whatever she had come to tell him was work related. "What is it?"

Ruth handed him the email, and waited in silence, wondering if she would be sacked on the spot. "I see," Harry said putting the sheet of paper to one side. "What are you going to tell them?"

"Whatever you want me to," she said honestly. "I don't work for them any longer. I work for you. I only agreed to report to them because I wouldn't have received this transfer otherwise. And I wanted to get out of Cheltenham. Someone would have taken the opportunity, it might as well have been me."

"So you're just going to let them down?" he asked in disbelief. "Tell them what I want them to know rather than the truth that we have Danny in the bank?"

"Yes," Ruth said. "I like the people here. I don't want to do anything that would… make things worse than they have to be."

"Okay," Harry said. "I'll talk to Tom and get back to you. Thank you Ruth."  
She nodded and left his office, Harry watching critically. The problem was, he wanted to believe her. Which he knew meant that he wasn't being as objective as he should have been. Which meant he had to discuss this with Tom.

* * *

"What do you think?" Harry asked his section head.

"I think she's a liability," Tom said, harshly in Harry's opinion. "Who's to say she won't betray us at the first opportunity?"

"Like Tessa you mean?" Harry asked sharply. "Betrayal is something you come to expect in this job. I worked with her for seven years, and I never suspected she'd double cross me. If we try to anticipate every traitor we'll never get any work done. We'll be too busy suspecting everyone else inside this building. And I think she's telling the truth."

That made Tom look at Harry for a moment. Harry didn't trust easily, especially after such a short time. "Why?"

"I don't know," he said. "But why tell me about the email if she's just going to betray us? It'll be easy enough to check what she's doing."

"Fair enough," Tom said. "Look, I'm not going to argue with you. If you think she can be trusted…"

"Well, it would be one way to find out wouldn't it?" Harry said. "As much as I'd like to think the government are stupid and incompetent, they'll have guessed we'll have put an agent in there. What's the worst that could happen? They realise they're right?"

"You remember where you work?" Tom asked ironically. "Tell her what you want. I'll have her messages monitored."

"Good," Harry said quietly. Apparently there was something in his voice because Tom stared at him hard for a long moment. "Anything else?"

"No. Nothing," he said slowly, before he turned and left the office, the door closing with a quiet click. Harry watched as Tom sat back at his desk, wondering what the younger man had seen in his face. It wouldn't do to give anything away. Not even a hint of anything. Especially after what Ruth had said, not wanting to appear like the woman sleeping her way ahead. It wouldn't do for Tom to know, or at least guess at his personal feelings.

* * *

Danny came back on the grid, feeling utterly exhausted. It was one a.m. and they'd just caught Maxine Baxter with the money trail (almost red handed). But he would never see her again, much to his relief. All he wanted to do was go home and sleep for a week. But he had to come to the grid for a debriefing.

"Go home," Harry said. Danny looked up, not even aware that he'd left his office. "The debrief can wait until tomorrow. You did well."

"Thanks Harry," Danny said, a small smile on his face. Tom had already left and Zoë was switching her computer off, Malcolm and Colin were nowhere to be seen. As Danny and Zoë went through the pods, Harry spotted Ruth still in the glow of her computer and walked over to her. There were dark circles under her eyes from tiredness and he felt very soft towards her in that moment, her concentration on the screen.

"I'm taking you home," he said quietly but firmly.

"What? No, I'm fine."

"You've been working nearly twenty four hours straight, switch your computer off and let me take you home. You're lying if you tell me you're not exhausted."

"Well…" she started, shrugging her shoulders slightly. "I am a little tired."

"Everything you're doing can wait until tomorrow. I insist on you getting some sleep."

Ruth sighed heavily as her computer whirred down for the night. "My boss is insisting I go to bed. Is there something indecent in that I wonder?"

"I'm too tired to even try to flirt with you," he said, making her smile. "Lets just say I find you beautiful and leave it at that. Now let me give you a lift. The tube's stopped for the night, so don't be stubborn."

"Alright," she said after a moment, her mind still on the "you're beautiful" comment.

"Good," he said. "I'm just going to get my jacket." She watched his retreating back and realised that for the majority of the day, he'd had his tie off and the top buttons of his shirt undone. And she had been so busy with her work that she hadn't stopped to pay attention to it for even a couple of minutes. Such a shame, she thought to herself. Next time she would really have to concentrate.

As she buttoned her coat up, Harry came back, car keys in hand. "And here I thought you didn't drive yourself," Ruth teased.

"Maybe when I've been here long enough I'll get the honour of having a personal driver," he said in an extremely sarcastic tone. "For the meantime you have to make do with me."

"That seems like a fair trade," she said swiftly and he watched her for a moment without moving as she went through the pods. He gave himself a mental shake and followed her down to the underground car park. Nothing was said between the two of them until they'd left Thames House behind.

"Do you know where you're going?" Ruth asked quietly.

"I know where you live," he replied in a manner that was more than a touch personal.

"Dare I ask how?" The road was clear so he looked at her for a long moment.

"Its in your personnel file," he said briefly.

"I don't like people reading that," she responded, tearing her eyes away and looking out of the window. "Its things that should be private."

"I've only read the covering page," he said truthfully. "Your birthday, address, phone number. Previous experience. Nothing that matters."

"But you could read the rest of it if you wanted to," she pressed.

"Yes I could," he agreed. "But I wouldn't. I didn't like it when people looked into my file, so I don't do it to others unless its absolutely necessary."

She took a moment but then decided that she believed him. So she nodded once, but silence filled the car as they drove on. "You're not coming in," she blurted suddenly. Harry smiled almost indulgently at her.

"If you think I have the energy after the last couple of days at work, you have a higher opinion of my stamina that the reality," he said plainly, making her blush. God, she blushed so easily around this man! Why? She had never had this problem in the past. "I'm going to pull up outside your house, make sure you get in safely, and then drive myself home. Is that okay?"

"More than," she said, smiling at him. He grinned back easily, and she was surprised at how much younger that made him look. She wasn't surprised at the fact it made him more attractive, that she'd already experienced. "I did what you wanted," she said. "Gave Downing street the message you told me to pass along."

"I know."

"It was a test wasn't it?" Ruth said quietly. "You wanted to see if I was trustworthy."

"I didn't monitor you," Harry said. "That was not my decision." It seemed important to him that she believe this. He wanted her belief that he would not have read her emails or messages, unless he was convinced that she was betraying them. And in his heart of hearts he knew she wasn't.

"Tom? I'd hate to think it was Malcolm because he likes me."

"Yes it was Tom," Harry agreed. "Don't take it personally."

"I'm not," she said quietly. "If it were you, then I might. Especially after… you know."

"I do know," he said in that dangerously low voice she was becoming increasingly familiar with. She glared at him for what felt like a long time until the car stopped. Ruth looked around, unaware that they'd reached her house.

"You can be late in tomorrow," Harry said. "I doubt any of us will be there before ten anyway."

"Probably not," she agreed, remembering Zoë's glazed eyes and the amounts of coffee that had been on every available surface. All she had to do was get out of the car, but suddenly she didn't want to leave Harry. She wanted to stay here and continue their conversation. A conversation that was laced with heavy flirting, but very enjoyable none the less.

"Ruth?"

"Yes?"

"Can I kiss you?"

"You're asking permission?" she said, surprised. On that one night he hadn't asked permission for anything, he'd simply read her body language (correctly) and quickly ripped her clothes off.

"I won't do anything you don't want me to do," he said firmly. "So yes, I'm asking you."

"Yes," she said, not analysing her feelings, not stopping to even think about it, just going with what she wanted. What her heart told her to do. He smirked lopsidedly at her and leaned towards her. One hand raised to her face and cradled her cheek softly and tenderly as he closed the gap and brushed his lips against hers. The beginning was a shockingly gentle kiss, nothing demanding or possessive in it, and he had never kissed her like this. It felt… wonderful. Ruth suddenly wanted more of this man and she briefly opened her mouth to him. Their tongues touched for a few seconds before he backed away.

"Goodnight Ruth," he said quietly, but with his tone, it was perfectly clear that nothing more would happen tonight. No matter how much that kiss may have changed her mind or weakened her resolve.

"Goodnight Harry," she replied. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Bye." She left the car and, true to his word, Harry waited until she'd unlocked the door before driving off. Once she was safely inside he turned the ignition back on and pressed his lips into a thin line, relishing the feeling of her against him. The echoes could still be felt, and he hoped it would last until he got home.

* * *

**On to the EERIE exercise next, my least favourite episode ever. Thanks for the wonderful reviews, and I hope you'll be kind enough to leave one for this chapter. More soon.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Everyone is so looking forward to this episode. I hope I haven't let anyone down. (I hate this episode so I can't be objective any more!)**

* * *

"No, you are not serious!" Harry shouted down the phone. "I refuse point blank to take part in this… ridiculous cheap escapade just to satisfy your Emergency Response Initiative Exercise box on your stupid spreadsheet! It'll be divisive, and extremely disruptive. And on top of that, it has the very likely capacity for making section D operate in a much reduced effectiveness in the future."

"I don't care," the DG said. "You've been putting this off for six years. Its happening. You can either cooperate or I'll find someone else to occupy your whisky filled office."

"Are you threatening me?" Harry asked lightly, even though this was serious.

"Harry, you've been putting this off for years," the DG said, exasperated. "Now we all know you were an exceptional field officer, and that currently you are very good at your job, so no. I'm not going to get rid of you by any means. But you've been putting this off for far too long. It's meant to be a regular two year occurrence. Section D hasn't had one for eight years."

"That's because I remember how destructive the last one was," Harry said darkly. "Alright, I'll participate in this… farce, but I'm not paying for the damage my department will undoubtedly do. Its coming out of someone else's budget, and I really don't care who's."

"I'm glad we've reached an understanding," the DG said, amusement lacing his voice which Harry hated. "I'll call with the date it'll go ahead later today."

"Fantastic," Harry said sarcastically. He refrained from slamming the phone down with great difficulty. He had firmly believe that these exercises were completely pointless and a waste of time. Now they were proposing he lied to the whole of his team, suggesting he was contaminated with the VX gas. He wouldn't like lying to his team on the best of occasions. But with… whatever it was that he had with Ruth, or at least beginning to have with Ruth, a lie like this might well and truly ruin everything. It was very ill timed to say the least. He sighed and put his head in his hands. "Shit."

* * *

On Monday the following week Ruth felt content as she had her breakfast. Nothing further had been mentioned between herself and Harry, but that kiss had been repeated about eighty times in her memory. And it hadn't become a boring memory by any stretch of the imagination. In the last few days, their conversations had been revolving around work, but the eye contact between them when they were alone was… well, not far from smouldering if she were honest with herself.

Suddenly her doorbell rang, bringing her out of memories of Harry, into her very much real present. She took a last bite out of her toast before rushing to answer the door. She regretted that the instant she found Harry on her doorstep. Her mouth went dry and she swallowed her toast with difficulty.

"Hi," she said blankly, wishing she looked a bit more dignified than barefoot, her face naked of make up and a tiny bit of jam in the corner of her mouth. She licked her lips and wondered what on earth he was doing here this early on a Monday morning.

"I thought you might like a lift in," he said quietly.

"I'm perfectly capable of finding Thames House on my own," she said, and at once wished she'd put her brain in gear.

"I know that," he said. "I thought you'd like a lift anyway."

"I'm not ready, come in," she said, retreating into her house as Harry followed, looking about her house with interest. "I'll be five minutes," she said quickly. "Make yourself at home." He smiled at her as her bare feet retreated up the stairs quickly. He loved seeing her like this, unprofessional, and not how she'd present herself to the world. It seemed… natural somehow. Harry couldn't pursue this line of thought any further because there was a loud hiss from the kitchen chair. He turned around and came face to face with a very angry tabby cat. This cat had green angry eyes, bared teeth and was growling at him. It might have been a purr, but from Harry's point of view it sounded like a growl.

"You do not look like one friendly kitty do you?" Harry said softly. The cat jumped onto the table and arched its back, still staring at Harry. He took a step backwards. He might be bigger than the cat, but the cat had teeth and claws which it looked more than capable of using them. Harry was still eyeing up the cat warily when Ruth returned, jacket and shoes now on.

"Your cat looks like a vicious thing," Harry said, still watching the feline.

"Oh, there's nothing wrong with him," Ruth said. Then with more bravery than Harry had, she scratched the cat between the ears. He rolled over and let Ruth stroke his belly for a moment before turning to Harry. "Shall we go?"

* * *

In the car, Harry was still focusing on her cat, more shaken up than we would admit. "You didn't mention you had a cat?"

"I didn't want to be the crazy lonely cat lady did I?" Ruth said quickly. Harry smiled at her, but chose to ignore her four legged friend for the moment. "So any reason you're giving me a lift this morning?"

"I'd like to talk to you before we get to work," he said honestly. "I'm sorry."

"Oh good, a story that starts with an apology," Ruth said. "It can only get worse from here on in."

"Because of my position in MI5, there are certain… things I can't tell you. But I don't want to lie to you either. So I'm sorry."

"I'm not an idiot," she said. "I know you're privilege to a lot more secrets than I am. Its not lying, its work. Is that the only reason you picked me up this morning?"

"I felt… I needed to apologise."

"Harry, you're not making any sense."

"I know."

"So you're being enigmatic on purpose?" Ruth questioned, completely lost in this conversation.

Harry sighed heavily. "I've had a long weekend without you."

"That's a lie," she said shortly. "We were all called in on Saturday, and I didn't go home until four. Can you not manage twenty four hours without me?"

"That's a question I can't answer, because it doesn't have a right answer. I say yes, and I'm the stupid sentimental idiot, and if I say no and it looks like I don't care."

"That sentence has told me more than anything you've told me yet," she said quietly. It had. It was one of the first indications that he wanted more than just her physically. That he might actually care for more than getting her into bed.

"Thank you. For your strange apology, for picking me up and for glaring at my overprotective and violent cat."

"You're welcome," he said amused. "We'll be there in five minutes." Ruth nodded and they spent the rest of the journey in silence, interrupted only by the glances that caught each others eyes.

* * *

**36 hours later**.

Harry looked around the grid, only looking for one person in particular. He knew that no one on the grid would be exactly happy with him, and talking to Zoë, Tom and Danny had made that perfectly clear. But Ruth was nowhere to be seen. The booze was flowing and after about twenty minutes when people were clearing out, he thought no one would miss him so he went in search of Ruth. He got lucky. He found her in the first place he looked, on the roof overlooking the city. Bracing himself for her anger he walked towards her.

"I hate you," she said firmly.

"No you don't," he said quietly. "You're just angry."

"Angry. Livid. Upset. Furious. You name it." Still she hadn't looked at him. "This is what your cryptic apology was for wasn't it?"

"Yes," he said. "I'm not… I didn't like lying to anyone. Especially you. We all work so closely, I told the DG it was a bad idea. I was ignored."

"I hate you," she repeated.

"I can live with that," Harry said calmly. She turned to look at him, her face glowering at him.

"Don't you dare act like you're dying on me ever again," she said calmly. "Unless you actually are dying."

"You knew it was fake," Harry said. "I saw it on your face.

"Oh yes? What else was my face saying?" Ruth asked, her voice with a dangerously steely edge to it.

"That you were worried, tired and stressed," Harry said, trying to make things general. "You didn't believe I was sick."

"No, I thought you were faking it," she agreed. "But there was a part of me saying: oh dear God, Harry's actually dying." She paused, there eyes locking and he saw the sadness there for a moment before she spoke. "So don't do it again. Because there will be a serious danger of you dying next time. I'll kill you."

"Fair enough," Harry said. "You're cold."

"I'm fine," she said, even though Harry had correctly seen her shivering.

"Stop being stubborn. I know you're angry, but let me help."

She stood still as he put his arms around her, pulling her back to his chest tightly. He could tell that she was stiff against him and he wasn't exactly forgiven.

"Anyway, if you think I'm angry, wait until you next see Fidget when he hasn't been fed."

"You called that monster Fidget?" Harry questioned, completely floored.

"Yes, and he won't be any friendlier to the man who stopped him from getting breakfast."

"Christ, that thing'll eat me alive." Ruth laughed and he felt her relax slightly against him. He tightened his arms around her waist, palms against her body, even when he hated the fabric between them. After a moment he took a risk and brushed her hair off of her neck and brushed his lips across the skin there. He knew the moment she'd closed her eyes and he kept doing it. Her hair smelt citrusy from her shampoo. It shouldn't have after so long on the grid, but it did. He breathed her in and sighed.

"I should go," she said quietly, trying to pull away from him. He let go of her and she smoothed her coat down. "After all, I have an angry cat to feed."

"I hope to see you alive tomorrow," Harry said, only half joking.

Ruth laughed slightly. She reached for him and kissed his cheek lightly. "I should hate you."

"Yes," he said as she walked away. "You probably should." He turned to look over the city, her scent still lingering in the air, and for the first time wondered if there was more than simple attraction between the two of them. It just seemed… more. But, he did nothing. Instead he looked over London, deep in thought.

* * *

**Okay?**


	7. Chapter 7

Ruth was still recovering from the EERIE exercise emotionally so Harry mentioned nothing about their personal relationship at all. He didn't want to push it, and the memory of her in his arms on the roof was still sweet.

Everything was being put on hold for the presidents visit, happening for three days. That would be three days where none of his team got any sleep, or any peace from the CIA and particularly Christine Dale. The flight of the president and his contingents had just landed and all hell was breaking loose. For three days he barely had time to look at Ruth, let alone talk to her. All he was able to mention was in regards to a crate of papers they'd stolen as it made its way through customs, and someone spilt tea all over it. They were cleaning it up, and trying to get it back before the American's realised it was missing. Ruth was looking after that. It was a minor problem, but it was a headache he really didn't need at the present time.

Once the yanks had got on their plane and flown out of UK airspace, Harry declared that he was taking the entire team out for a drink. First round on him. No one seemed inclined to say no to this unusual generosity, and Ruth knew it would look out of place if she had. So she was rather nervous about spending time with Harry, away from work and in the presence of others. She hoped it wouldn't be obvious how she felt about him. She needed it to be kept under wraps. Not announced to everyone they worked with.

They all trooped out to The George, just down the road from the grid in a melee of chattering voices. When they got to the pub, they nicked a table at the back and were getting glared at by some of the other patrons for the noise levels. Ruth found herself sat on the end, next to Malcolm as Harry got the drinks in. Coming back with a tray, everyone took theirs and Ruth noticed that he'd got her a white wine without asking. She smiled at him for a long moment before taking her drink.

"So, here's to a successful negotiation with the Americans, and no one shot dead on our soil. A great day all round I do believe."

"Here here," Malcolm said, holding his orange juice. Everyone clinked glasses and it wasn't long before the volume kicked up. Tom got in the second round, and by this time Harry had moved his chair so he was sitting next to Ruth. Malcolm and Colin were occupied in a very technical conversation, so she knew that as long as they kept their voices down they wouldn't be overheard.

"How was your first visit by a foreign head of state?" Harry asked.

"It went well," she said. He nodded before she continued. "Although I think I've personally ruined about six hundred acres of rainforest, copying all of those papers."

"How long did it take to get the tea out?" Harry asked amused.

"Best part of thirty six hours," she said, shaking her head as Harry laughed into his whisky. "Malcolm did some chemical treatment to it, trying to bleach it and we just copied everything over so many times."

"That's what you spent your first presidential visit doing?"

"Well, that and listening to the chatter on the wires," she said. "Monitoring anti American suspected terrorists, checking international emails and weapons sales. Mundane things like that."

"I thought Zoë handled weapons?" Harry said.

"Yes, she did," Ruth replied. "She does, but she needed a bit of help so I stepped in. I haven't spent the last three days only removing tea stains from secret international documents. I believe my job is a little more important than that. Or am I wrong?" she added after a pause from him.

"No, you're not wrong," he said. "Your job is more important than tea stains."

"Glad to hear it." She finished her wine as Tome came back with top ups for everyone.

"It's a white wine right Ruth?"

"Yes, thank you," she said, smiling at Tom before he became embroiled in an argument with Danny and Zoë that Harry wasn't paying attention to. Ruth took a sip and then frowned at the taste. "That's not the same," she said quickly.

"Well, whenever I've bought you a drink, I chose the nicest sauvignon blanc available. Tom will have bought you battery acid, the cheap skate."

That brought Ruth up short. It had never occurred to her that Harry might be treating her in that way. Harry drained his double whisky in quick time and put the empty glass on the table. "Still Glenfiddich?"

"Yes," he said. "But then, I budget for his wages and have the ability to fire him. So he's going to treat me."

"God, you," she said, smiling as she shook her head to herself.

"What about me?" he asked, more than a touch curiously.

"You make me want to know more," she said after making sure no one was listening. "Just more about you."

"All in good time," he said. "I should go home," he added. "I've got a dog to feed."

"You have a dog?" she asked. "I didn't notice him."

"Her, and she's no guard dog either," Harry said. "A stranger comes in and all she does is cower under the kitchen table. Don't take it personally."

"I wasn't," she said. "I just can't believe I didn't notice. Well, actually… I was a tad… preoccupied at the time."

"Is that what we're calling it?" he teased.

"Yes," she said. "And I should go home to," she added.

"I'm going to make a move," Harry said to the group at large. There was a general chorus of goodbyes and Ruth stood up a second later.

"I'm going to get going too," she added as Harry reached the door. "I'm exhausted." This wasn't exactly a lie, but the truth was she didn't want to stay here if Harry was absent.

"See you tomorrow then," Danny said, almost drowning himself in his lager.

"Bye," Ruth said as she went into the cold. It didn't altogether surprise her to find Harry waiting for her outside the pub when she left it. Was she that predictable.

"Shall we share a taxi?" he asked, a boyish grin on his face.

"No," she said firmly. Sharing a taxi with a man she was sexually attracted to was a very bad idea. "I'm going home alone."

"Okay," he said amused, as if he'd known what her answer would be before she spoke. "I do want one thing before you go though."

"Oh really, whats that then?"

"I want a long, good, satisfying kiss," he said. A hint of a question went in his eyes and she knew that he was asking permission. She walked the three paces it took to get to him and kissed him, trying not to engage her brain too much. When she didn't think, he kissed very well indeed. His hands were warm on her face as their mouths connected, very deeply this time. He tangled his right hand up in her hair, pulling it out of its pony tail and lacing his fingers in it tightly. God, he wanted this woman so much that he ached for her. If she kept saying no, kisses like this weren't wise because all it did was make him want more. As soon as this passed through his mind he pulled back, his hand falling from her hair gently and slowly until he'd left her completely.

"You stopped," she said pointlessly as it was rather obvious.

"Ruth, I want more," he said simply. "I don't want to be stealing quick kisses fro you every now and again. I want you."

"I seem to remember you've had me," she teased. But most unusually it wasn't reciprocated in his eyes. "Harry…"

"I mean it Ruth. I like you. I don't want you to just be my employee. I… want you."

Ruth sighed, but she'd known this was coming sooner or later. "I'll think about it."

"That means no," he said, shaking his head.

"No, it means I'll think about it," she said honestly. "But Harry… your history with women…"

"Is not relevant to you," Harry said firmly.

"Harry…"

"I mean it," he said. "What does my past impact on you."

"You'll get bored of me," she said surely.

"If I did…"

"See?"

"If I did," he repeated, "I'd tell you. I wouldn't go and cheat on you. Believe me, I have learnt from my many mistakes."

"Harry… I'm really struggling to see what you see in me. I'm not glamorous and you've already had what most men are after so why do you keep pursing this?"

"I'm not most men," he said. "And you're beautiful and intelligent, with a clearly low opinion of me but despite that…"

She smiled. "I'll think about it. Honestly."

"Good," he said. "I suppose I can't ask for more than that. And for the record, I don't blame you. That you think I'm an old philandering fool."

"I never said you were old or a fool," she replied quickly. He smiled at her.

"The only thing that will change your mind is time," he said quietly. "I can wait for you."

"I'll give it some thought. I promise."

"Good," he said. "Now go home, you're getting cold." Before she turned away she kissed his cheek lightly.

"I might have judged too quickly," she said. "We'll see in the end."

"I'll remind you of that," he said quietly.

"Bye Harry," she said, turning as she saw a taxi about to drive past the pub. "I'll see you tomorrow." Harry watched as she got into the cab and it drove off. A minute or two later he realised he was being watched. He turned to see Danny staring at him.

"How long have you been there?" Harry asked, feeling his heart hit the floor.

"Long enough," Danny said. "Ruth left her scarf. I was trying to catch her before she left. But apparently you did a good job of that."

"Danny…"

"I realise you're my boss and could send me undercover to Egypt for ten months of the year if you wanted to, but she's been here only a couple of months."

"I know that," Harry said, wanting to tread very carefully. "I'm not mistreating her." Danny said nothing but gave the scarf to Harry. "Look, I would appreciate you keeping what you saw to yourself. Ruth is… concerned what people will think of her."

"I'll keep my mouth shut," Danny said firmly. "But you know what the gossip is like at Thames House. It won't take long before it gets out."

"Thank you." Danny took a moment but then he nodded and returned to the pub. Harry stood staring into space for several minutes until another cab came around the corner. Danny knowing was not a good thing. But he wasn't a liar, if he said he'd keep it to himself, he had no reason to disbelieve him. Harry hailed the cab and got in, his mind running very quickly indeed.

* * *

**I've just realised how much I'm going to have to write for this fic, as I'm planning to end it at 5-5 (non cannon before you ask). There's going to be so much of this left to write! Eek! May have bitten off more than I can chew. Anyway, this chapter is up quicker than I planned, as a thank you to my wonderful reviewers. THANK YOU! xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Tiny update, but I'm working all weekend. Wanted things to be a bit happier until I have the chance to update again...**

* * *

Ruth hadn't been able to sleep that night. Her mind kept going over everything that Harry had said. She wanted to give it a go, that was the honest truth. Did his history matter? Really? Should she let if effect what could happen with herself and Harry? No, she shouldn't, she told herself. Looking at her alarm clock she wondered if it was an indecent time to call Harry. Half one in the morning. The honest answer was yes, but she knew she wouldn't sleep at all if she hadn't spoken to him. So, incredibly selfishly she picked up her mobile and rang through to him.

"This had better be good otherwise I'm shipping you to Siberia," he said croakily, letting her know she'd woken him, filling her with guilt.

"I'm sorry," she said, sitting up in bed and flicking the light on. "I knew you'd be sleeping and I called you anyway. I'm being selfish, I'm sorry, I'll go."

"Don't you dare," he said, waking up quickly. "You wake me up, you can at least tell me the reason why you called."

"I was going to say okay," she said slowly.

"Okay what?" he asked quietly.

"If its still on, you asked me to dinner a while back. I'd like to go. I'd like to give us a shot. Properly."

Harry had been holding his breath and suddenly smiled. But he was careful with what he said, lest she change her mind. "What changed your mind?"

"I've been lying in bed, thinking about what you said," she replied slowly. "I couldn't sleep until I'd talked to you."

"In that case, I'm glad you called. In spite of this epiphany of yours coming at nearly two in the morning."

"Sorry about that," she said honestly. "I'd have called at a more reasonable time if it had occurred to me then."

"Its okay," he said. "You can call me whenever you want to. Whenever you need me."

"Good to know," she said with a smile. "Look, I'll let you sleep. I just wanted to talk to you."

"I'll book a table then," he said. "If you're sure?"

"I'm sure," she said. "But I don't want any special treatment at work. If I need to be criticised, then do it. You can't let me get away with being late either."

"Ruth, you've not been late once since you started working for me," Harry said. "I doubt very much you'll start now."

"Right, well as long as we've got that sorted," Ruth said.

"I'll see you tomorrow with a reservation for tomorrow night," he said.

"That soon?"

"Before you change your mind," he said in a silky voice.

"Okay," Ruth replied.

"Goodnight Ruth," he said in little more than a whisper.

"Night Harry." Ruth put the phone down and felt herself fill with relief and not a little bit of hope. When she fell asleep she was smiling.


	9. Chapter 9

Harry had to pull a few strings to get a table on a Friday night on such short notice. Especially as he wanted to take her to a nice place, but he managed it, with a couple of the grid's resources. At ten in the morning he had a table for two all sorted out for that evening. He sent Ruth an instant message through the grids secure system.

_Table for two booked at Le Circe, 8 o'clock tonight. I hope you like French food? H._

Ruth smiled as she read the message, and then making sure Malcolm was busy she typed a message back.

_French food sounds wonderful. Le Circe sounds very exclusive! How'd you get a table there? Ruth._

He watched her as she wrote the message and then turned to his computer. He read it and then smiled.

_Spook secret never to be divulged. I'll pick you up at half seven. Provided the world doesn't explode on us. H._

_I look forward to it. Have to go. Getting CIA requests that I'm ignoring to message you. Ruth._

_Burn them. Delete them. The Americans can go off a cliff. See you later. H._

Ruth reread the conversation three times before she deleted it from her files, and then deleted the memory of the file from the system, rebooting her computer. She was looking forward to tonight. Immensely.

* * *

Their dessert came and Ruth smiled at Harry as the plates were left on the table. Their hands were joined across the table and Ruth had never felt happier, if a little nervous, which was odd because she'd already slept with him. Ruth let go reluctantly, turning to her Tiramisu.

"Oh dear God, that is delicious," she said, a dot of chocolate on the corner of her lips which she caught with her finger. Harry watched her lips and wanted to kiss her, but knew he should wait. At least until they were out of this very exclusive restaurant. "You haven't tried yours yet," she said.

Harry took a bite of his apple pie and agreed with Ruth. It was delicious. When he'd finished he reached for her hand again and she smiled, moving her fingers over his palm gently. Soon her plate was empty and he asked, "Would you like a coffee?"

"No," she said in that tone that he'd heard once before.

"Another drink?"

"No." She smiled at him and he leaned over the table and gave her a brief peck on the lips.

"The bill?"

"An excellent idea," Ruth agreed, trying not to laugh. He chuckled slightly before catching a waiters eye and asked for the bill. Ruth smiled at the speed Harry handed over his credit card, thrilled that he was as eager as her to get to bed. And certainly not to sleep.

* * *

Harry awoke first the next morning. He felt incredibly tired, and it took a moment to remember why. He suddenly felt the feminine hand on his chest and turned to Ruth's sleeping face. Her decency was barely covered by the sheet and that was fine with him. He watched her for a long minute before he heard a growl. Sitting up slightly he saw Scarlet, his jack russel terrier looking at Ruth with evil eyes.

"Behave old girl," Harry hissed. "I'll give you your favourite treats if you behave today." Scarlet growled once more before trotting off. Harry got up and closed his bedroom door quietly before getting back next to Ruth. He admired her for a moment more before she stretched sleepily and the sheet completely fell away from her. He admired her body for a long, long minute before he noticed that she had goose bumps all over her skin. He picked up the sheet and covered her up, pulling the duvet over her for good measure too. She shuffled towards him slightly in her sleep and he smiled, grateful it was Saturday. They didn't have to go into work today, and he was relieved he'd get to wake up next to her. She had clearly relaxed enough to let go. Last time they'd been in bed, she'd had a restless night at best, but this time she hadn't woken once. He was pleased that she'd really let go of herself.

"Mmm… Harry…" He looked at her but she was still sleeping. He had rarely felt this contented. Then his phone rang.

"Shit." He picked it up so the noise wouldn't disturb her, but it was too late. She was waking up. Harry sighed and hoped this was good. "What?"

"Harry, so sorry to call you this early, but there's been a lately decided JIC meeting this week. Just informing you in good time."

"Thank you home secretary," Harry said shortly. "When?"

"Thursday evening," he replied. "The only time we had. I thought you'd want to know."

"Thank you, can you email me the time and location? Its Saturday after all."

"I know, I'm sorry to disturb you. Goodbye Pearce." Harry put the phone down, disappointed to see Ruth awake.

"Go back to sleep," he said.

"Mm, so tempting," she said, turning over. "I feel lazy."

"I'm going to feed the dog, get some tea and toast for a semi breakfast in bed."

"Sounds good." Ruth sat up and kissed Harry briefly. "Don't forget the jam."

"I won't." He kissed her again before getting out of bed and Ruth grabbed the duvet, wrapping it close around her. Harry wondered if she'd still be conscious when he brought their tea up in ten minutes time. Not that he particularly minded either way. The fact she was naked in his bed and willing to give them a proper try was enough for him. More than.

* * *

They spent the entire weekend together, Saturday night they returned to Ruth's house, and for the first time he saw her bedroom. Scattered with books from everything from Socrates and Plato, to Jane Austen to Harry Potter.

"Why've you got the Harry Potter books?" Harry questioned.

"My god daughter loves them," Ruth said with a smile. "It's the only thing she talks about, so I want to do more than just nod with a glazed expression on my face."

"I didn't know you had a god daughter," Harry said surprised.

"I guess you don't know everything about me then," she teased.

"I suppose not," he said. Then he stopped thinking about what he didn't know and started to watch as Ruth sat on the bottom of the bed and took her boots off. He waited for her to take more off but it wasn't forthcoming. Returning to her face he saw her smirking at him.

"Enjoying the show?"

"No, not really," he said honestly. "You'd need to take more than your shoes off for me to "enjoy the show" Ruth."

"Well maybe you could help then?" she said, her eyes glowing. Not needing a further invitation he pushed her into the mattress and started undressing her, very quickly indeed.


	10. Chapter 10

"I don't like this," Ruth said honestly. Harry drew the blinds in his office and sighed. They'd spent all of their free time over the past week together, mostly in bed. Or in the shower. Tonight Harry had the JIC meeting and it would last hours, God knows when he'd get home. He wanted Ruth to stay over his house, while he wasn't there, feed Scarlet and give her a quick walk. Ruth didn't like the fact that she would be staying at Harry's without him.

"Please Ruth," he said. "That meeting will be a whole lot easier to bear if I know that you're waiting for me in my bed."

"The way you're talking to me and the look on your face? Its indecent."

"I know. I'm hoping it works in my favour," he said, lips twitching at her.

"Alright," she said after a moment. "I'll warm the bed up tonight. If you insist."

"I do," he said. Harry kissed her briefly and Ruth pressed her lips together in a line when he let her go. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," she said. "Nothing's wrong at all." She kissed him again. "I need to get back to work."

"I'll see you later," he whispered. "The security code is 12345678 by the way."

"What?"

"No one would ever guess that. Everyone would think it'd be more complicated. Anyway, you can't break into the system, Malcolm made sure of it."

"You're changing that when you get home."

"Fine," he agreed. "As long as you'll be there."

"I will be," she said, a soft smile on her face. "Don't worry. I do have to get back to work." Harry nodded as she left his office, walked over to the blinds, staring through a gap in them and smiled as she took her seat across the room. It had only been a week, but this last week had been very enjoyable to say the least. It would be nice knowing that she was waiting for him at home tonight.

* * *

Ruth had gone to her house that night, picked up some extra clothes and a book and left some food out for Fidget before going over to Harry's. She still didn't like being there without him, but there was no denying that Scarlet would need a walk.

Once there, when she'd disabled the alarm (what a stupid number!) she spent a good twenty minutes trying to find the dog. Eventually she found her under the guest bed, frightened. Ruth left her there, thinking that when she was hungry she'd come out for some food, which she did about an hour later, glaring at Ruth, as if to say "I know you're an intruder." Ruth reached for the dogs lead, and the scared angry dog changed to a happy one, waging her tail happily.

"Are we going to get on then?" Ruth asked. The dog let out a happy yap and Ruth put the lead on her, heading out of the door. When Ruth arrived back at Harry's she had nothing to do. Recently all of her spare time had been filled with Harry. Either being with him, or thinking about him. Now she seemed at a loose end. So she did something she hadn't had time for since joining MI5. She had a long hot bubble bath, well in the knowledge that Harry wouldn't mind. He'd told her she could get undressed any time she liked. Which sounded a lot more cheesy in her head than it had when he'd told her that.

Anyway, she had a long bath and read several chapters of her book, delighting in the fact that no red flashes came through her phone. A relief. When the water was cold she got into bed, and felt really strange. Without Harry this was odd. She was half tempted to go home and sleep in her own bed, but she knew when Harry got here, he'd be hurt if she wasn't there, especially after promising that she would be. So she settled herself to a restless night.

* * *

At half past three Harry unlocked his house and went to his bedroom, pausing only briefly to lock his briefcase papers in the safe. He opened the door and found Ruth wrapped in the sheets facing him, wearing an old T shirt. She did truly look beautiful he thought for a moment. He was far too tired to do anything more than kiss her, but he did notice in the distant part of his mind how attractive he found her. He wondered if he'd get tired of that. Being honest with himself, he usually had by now. But Ruth was different and he knew it. He sat on the end of the bed and took of his shoes, socks, trousers and jacket off, leaving just his boxers and his shirt on. Then he climbed into bed next to her, resting a hand on her hip.

"Mm, Harry?"

"No, it's the other man you're sleeping with," he said sarcastically.

"Tell Ian to go away then. I'm too tired," she teased. The smile on her face made that perfectly clear.

"You better not even know someone called Ian after that comment," he growled at her. She laughed but then squealed as his hand went under her shirt.

"Jesus Harry, you're freezing!"

"Give me a minute," he said. "I'll warm up quickly."

"I'm not your personal radiator!" Ruth said, crying out as his cold feet leaned against her calves.

"Oh calm down. You're much more dignified when you're asleep."

"Is that because I don't talk when I'm asleep?"

"No way on earth am I answering that one." Ruth chuckled and gave up the argument, leaning her head on his chest as his arms wrapped around her tightly. He hadn't been lying, he did warm up quickly.

"Mm, you smell good," he murmured.

"Oh yeah, I used your shower gel, hope you don't mind," she said.

"No I don't mind," he whispered. "You smell good."

"I need to sleep," she said. "Be quiet."

"All right," he replied. He did nothing but smell her hair until her gentle even breathing filled the room. Then he quickly followed her into sleep.

* * *

The next morning they awoke, they got dressed and ready in silence. It wasn't uncomfortable, it was simply the fact that they were both tired, and weren't looking forward to the early morning at work. Harry was driving them in early so they wouldn't catch attention coming in together when he remembered that the papers on the codes for Firestorm were still in his safe. He did a u-turn and Ruth looked at him curiously.

"I've left my case at home," he said apologetically. "I'm sorry. Do you want to take the bus instead?"

"No, it'll take just as long," she said, feeling her heart plummet. She didn't want to be talked about in the way she could see coming. Pulling up in his driveway, Harry froze. The door wasn't closed. Just by a couple of inches, but it was open. Someone had broken into his house

"Stay in the car and lock it," he said firmly. When he used that tone of voice she didn't argue with him. "Call for back up from the grid. Have them send a team round here."

"Okay," Ruth said, getting her phone out before she could think twice. Harry got out of the car and approached his house warily, wishing he kept a gun in the car. He'd change that when he got out of this mess.

* * *

Harry drove to the grid in silence, Ruth next to him. The thieves had broken into his safe and stolen his briefcase. The codes for Firestorm had gone. Did the thief know what they were? Or just took it for the hell of it? No one could have known they were at his house, he was supposed to take them to the grid last night. But he'd been exhausted and the attraction of Ruth had been too much to resist. With the result that now they would be the gossip of Thames House.

When Ruth had called through, she'd got Tom and told him to send a team and some forensic experts down to Harry's house before thinking. The silence on the other end told her she'd said something wrong. "Tom? Are you doing it?"

"Harry's house?" he questioned quietly and Ruth knew she'd put her foot in it.

"Yes," she said in a dead voice. "I woke up here, can you send a team round? He's been broken into."

"They're on their way," he said. "I'll let the others know you'll be late." Before she could say anything else the line went dead. Ruth closed her eyes in exasperation and she'd said very little at all since. In the car on the way to the grid, Harry was worried about his job, but more importantly, her.

"Ruth, talk to me. Please," he asked quietly.

"Everyone will know," she said, looking at her hands. "I called Tom, saying there was a break in at your house. The tone in his voice… He knew, all he needed was for me to confirm it."

"What did you say?"

"That I woke up at yours. Nothing else, but the speed he hung up on me…"

"Ruth, my career is hanging by a thread. Forgive me if I'm not concerned with what my employees are gossiping about." Harry sighed, and knew that he'd said exactly the wrong thing. "Ruth, I'm sorry. Its not your fault that I've been burgled. I shouldn't take it out on you."

"I don't like people talking about me like that," Ruth said firmly. "And you're too good to lose your job."

"They won't care about us," Harry said. "It'll be more of a worry that I've basically given the French a free pass to steal Firestorm. And I wish I had your confidence in my job."

"What is this Firestorm that you've lost the codes for?" Ruth asked curiously.

"I'll tell everyone in the meeting room when we get to work," he said heavily. "I don't think I've the heart to do it twice."

"Fair enough."

"Does it matter what people say about us?" Harry asked exasperated as he pulled into the car park.

"Yes," Ruth said simply. "To me it does." Harry looked at her sadly for a moment before the urgency of the day caught up with them both and they had to leave the car, and go up to the grid, for a long hard day.

* * *

Harry was on the phone to some people who owed him favours, trying to recover the codes they needed to steal Firestorm. The rest of them were in the meeting room. Ruth had some information on possible thief's that they could use and she came into the meeting room with copies of the information. The fact that everyone stopped talking and stared at her when she came in told her that she and Harry had been the main topic of conversation. "Hi," she said stupidly. Then felt like even more of an idiot. "So who else has copies of the codes we need?"

"Six and special branch," Zoe said. Seemingly glad of an innocent topic of conversation. "Harry has asked that we wait ten hours before reporting him."

"You think he'd do the same for us do you?" Danny said.

"Well, he might for Ruth," Tom replied quickly. Ruth blushed and the silence was very oppressive.

"We can give him a few hours," Ruth said, aware she was treading on thin ice. "It's not as if we have someone ready to steal Firestorm anyway. Find that person, and then…"

"What?" Tom asked bluntly. "Turn him over to the JIC, telling them he lost the codes to something we aren't meant to know existed? You'd be alright with that?"

"No, of course I wouldn't," Ruth said. "But judging from the looks I'm getting, it would not be my decision."

Zoë, Danny and Tom all looked at each other and Ruth felt relieved that the spotlight was off of her, at least momentarily. It didn't last nearly as long as she'd have liked before she was subject to their stares again. She dropped the information on the table and left the meeting room, heading back to her desk.

* * *

"Why on earth did you take them home and not here?" Tom asked Harry in his office not more than ten minutes later.

"It was three in the morning, I was closer to the house, I wanted sleep."

"You didn't want to have a quick shag with your analyst instead?"

"Tom, that's uncalled for," Harry said, a dangerous tone to his voice. "My career is hanging by a thread. I don't need your criticism too."

"Fine. They're bringing the teenage burglar in now," Tom said. "We'll get you when he's here."

"Fantastic," Harry said sarcastically. He started rubbing his temples, feeling the beginning of a splitting headache coming on. This was not a good day.

* * *

It was nearing midnight and Ruth was laying on her arms which were resting on her desk. They'd stolen Firestorm, and Harry's loss had been covered up, thanks to the photographic memory of a fourteen year old burglar. What was bothering Ruth was that she wished she could erase some of the conversations she'd walked in on over the course of the day. The most embarrassing one had been between Sam and Zoë, in urgent whispers by the water cooler. Ruth hadn't realised they were talking about her. Looking back she should have known better.

"… was at his house this morning," Zoë whispered. "Tom said she called in for a team."

"Yes she did, Danny says he thinks this has been going on for a while. He saw them outside the pub together."

"Danny knew?" Zoë asked, hurt that he hadn't mentioned it to her.

"Apparently," Sam said quietly. "Maybe she likes him?"

"Oh come on Sam," Zoë said. "He's got to be at least twenty years older than her, no way is she doing it just for herself. She has to see the benefits of this, and her transfer to section D is up soon. Maybe she wanted a glowing review."

"Do you really think?" Sam asked, her face alight with the knowledge of good gossip. "Oh no." It was at this moment that she'd seen Ruth standing behind them and Zoë turned, both of them suddenly embarrassed. Ruth walked away, her face flaming and her heart in tatters. She hated that everyone thought of her in this way. It was hurtful and humiliating. Which is how she found herself resting her head on her desk, unwilling to move or go home.

Then suddenly, as if a light turned on in her brain, she knew what she had to do. She got up and went into Harry's office. His desk lamp was still on so she knew he was there. "Oh, hi Ruth," he said as she came in, flicking the file he was reading closed. "How are you?"

"Awful," she said honestly. "I'm awful."

"Yeah, I know it was a tough day…"

"No, it wasn't a tough day, it was an impossible day. And its only going to get worse. Look, I can't be talked about and laughed at like this. I'm sorry."

"Wait a minute," he said standing up suddenly as it clicked what she meant. "You're not ending this… because of gossip?!"

"No, I'm not," she said quietly. "I'm ending this because I'm being laughed at, and in the nicest terms possible, everyone thinks I'm a whore. I'm a private person and I can't stand it. That's why I'm ending it."

"No," Harry said simply. "I don't accept that."

"Its not your decision," she said, hating that she was doing this. "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" he said in disbelief. "Why do you care what they think?"

"I wish I didn't," she said. "I'm going home. And I'm really sorry."

"No." He quickly crossed the office and stood in front of her, his hands cradling her face gently. "I can't take this as the end. Over something so trivial."

"Its not trivial to me," she said honestly. "Please let me go."

"I won't give up on you Ruth," he said, his hands slipping from her face to her sides and down to her waist. "You'll come to your senses sooner or later. But I won't give up."

"No, I daresay you won't," she replied, knowing from experience that Harry didn't give up on anything he'd set his mind to. "Take your hands off of me," she added in a quiet voice. He did, his arms swinging uselessly by his side. "I'll see you next week."

"Okay," he said. "Goodbye Ruth."

"Don't look at me like that," she said. His eyes were burning at her and it felt like he was seeing down into her soul. A very penetrating gaze which she wanted to escape from. With a sigh she left his office, pausing by her desk to pick up her coat, and then she went home.

Once in bed later that night, cuddling her cat and halfway through a box of chocolates, Ruth still didn't know if she'd done the right thing. Or if, in fact she'd made one of the biggest mistakes of her life.

* * *

**A long chapter, but it didn't feel right to split it. Hope you're not too mad at me!**


	11. Chapter 11

On Monday there was a stack of files on Ruth's desk a foot high, and she felt her heart plummet. Just what she wanted to do on no sleep and an all sugar and fat diet she'd been existing on for the last forty eight hours.

She'd been working her way through the files when, about an hour later she realised Tom wasn't here. She turned to Malcolm. "Where's Tom?"

"He's undercover in an army base," he said instantly. "The first file should have told you that," he added curiously. She returned to it and realised exactly why she'd passed it over. It had Harry's handwriting with a message saying "please read urgently." She, being stupid, had thought it would be something personal, rather than business. She was such an idiot, and this oversight did not help her already sinking mood.

"Okay thanks," she said to Malcolm. He smiled at her with his lopsided grin.

"Its none of my business at all, but you should ignore what everyone's saying. It doesn't mean anything. People love to talk, that's all."

"It doesn't matter now anyway," Ruth said, but she appreciated the gesture all the same. "Thanks." He smiled at her again but kept his mouth shut. Ruth turned to her emails when she saw a message just arriving. "Oh no," she said to herself. "My secondment to section D is over," she added at Malcolm's look. "I need to talk to Harry."

It was probably good that she didn't have time to think about it, because then she'd have lost her nerve. Instead she walked into Harry's office, needing to know what he was going to do when her transfer was up. In ten days time. "Ruth, you could knock."

"Are you going to renew my contract?" Ruth asked bluntly, ignoring this.

"I don't know," he said heavily.

"I'm sorry but you don't know!" she shouted, before she could help herself. "Please God, tell me that you are not considering sending me back to Cheltenham."

"Ruth, no firm decision has been made," he said, fighting to stay calm. It was not easy to see her like this, so angry and fired up. Wanting something from him.

"Are you just doing this to toy with me?" she asked bewildered. "I don't deserve that Harry! I'm good at this job. More than good, I do more work than anyone else could do given the same time frame."

"Modest too," Harry said sarcastically.

"Did you know this was coming?" Ruth asked. "Last week?"

"You are on a temporary contract," he said, as if it was obvious (which it was but Ruth didn't want to acknowledge that fact at the moment, she was too angry). "Yes, it was coming."

"How can you be so matter of fact?" she asked, almost feeling her heart tear into shreds as she watched him. Didn't he care?

"Ruth…"

"Don't say my name like that," she interrupted, shaking her head. He said her name in almost a purr, and she was reminded of just how good he was in bed, and how much she wished the last few days hadn't happened. "Are you intending to renew my contract?"

"Ruth…"

"Yes or no?"

"Of course I am," he said quietly, walking a step or two towards her. She wanted to back away but she was by the door. She could do nothing except leave through it, but their conversation wasn't finished. "I miss you. I couldn't do without you, so I am going to try my best to keep you here."

"Good, that's what I wanted to know."

"Ruth…"

"I need to get to work," she said quickly. She pulled the door open and hurried back to her seat. Her face was flushed and her heart was racing, but she had got the answer she wanted. Hopefully, he would stick to his word, and renew her contract. Ruth didn't think she could bear it otherwise.

* * *

Three days later Harry hadn't spoken to her about anything that wasn't relating to Tom's undercover trip to the army base. They were busy, she understood that. But she was worried that he may have gone back on his word. Which was ridiculous because she had no reason not to trust him. He'd given her no cause to believe that, and yet she still worried.

Tom was back on the grid and he came by Ruth's desk. "Harry wants to see you." Ruth nodded and with a little trepidation got up and knocked on his door

"Yes?"

"Tom said you wanted to see me," Ruth said closing the door behind her.

"Yes," he said. He handed her a few sheets of paper stapled together and she looked at it for a moment.

"Thank you," she breathed with relief. "You don't know what this means to me."

"It means you'll be staying here," he said, his eyes smiling at her. "With a bit of a pay rise too."

"Thank you." Ruth sat down and quickly signed it, giving it to Harry when she'd finished.

"I'll put that through for you." Ruth nodded, grateful for that. "How are you?"

"Busy."

"I meant…"

"I know what you meant," she said quickly. She bit her lip hard before she could think of a reply. "I'm fine. Really. I should get back to work."

"Okay," he said softly. He reached for her hand across the desk. His skin was warm as it laid across hers and it was with difficulty that she pulled away.

"I need to do the write up for that nuclear contingent," she said, quickly leaving his office. Harry didn't call her back even though he wanted to. She'd give in, sooner or later, he knew she would, and he thought that even she realised that it was only a matter of time. But in the here and now, he missed her, more than he thought he would. He wanted her back. But as long as she was concerned about the gossip, he knew that wouldn't happen. Not until she realised that they were more important than what people may be saying about them. He turned his thoughts away from Ruth as an email came through. He should be working, not thinking about his non relationship with Ruth.

* * *

**There is a bright spot on the horizon for them coming soon. Thanks for the reviews, they make my day.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Wahoo! Over the 100 review mark, thank you! Skipping 2-9, and going straight on to the end of the series / beginning of series three.**

* * *

**One month later.**

Malcolm put the phone down as total silence, Ruth, Colin and Sam watching him for information. The conversation had lasted five minutes with Malcolm saying nothing more than encouraging "mm's" all the time. He turned to the other three, but his eyes focused on Ruth for a long second.

"Just tell us," Sam said, echoing Ruth's thoughts.

"Tom's on the run," Malcolm said.

"They didn't bring him in?" Colin asked, surprised.

"Harry tried," Malcolm said. "Instead of coming in quietly Tom… shot Harry."

"What!" Ruth blurted out, her mind suddenly freezing. "Shot… Harry? Is he alright?"

"He's being airlifted to St Mary's hospital in London, but he should be fine," Malcolm said in his calming voice. "Tom wasn't trying to kill him, only to get away. Harry'll be okay. He might have a few days in hospital but…"

"What about Danny and Zoë?" Sam asked.

"Fine, they're on their way back to London. I've been told to try and find out where Tom's escaped to. A most likely impossible task if Tom doesn't want to be found, but…"

"Excuse me," Ruth said, unable to think about this objectively any longer. She left the grid, feeling eyes in her back as she walked away. She went to the toilets and made sure she was the only one present before she locked the door. Then she allowed herself to break down and cry. Harry had been shot. Tom had actually pointed a gun at him and pulled the trigger. She couldn't believe it. It was sinking into her consciousness slowly and painfully. Harry was going to hospital. He could die. And her stupid fear of what people would say about them together had ruined the last few weeks, when they could have been together? What the hell was wrong with her? She clearly needed psychological help if that was the only thing stopping them from being together. And now Harry had a bullet hole in his body. He could be dying right now. She tried to stop it but the tears kept flowing, almost without her being aware of it.

Catching her reflection in the mirror a few minutes later, she realised how much of a wreck she looked like. Her mascara had run, her eyes were red and blotchy, and she looked awful. Grabbing some tissues, she made to hastily pull herself together, and to look slightly better than something the cat dragged in.

"Do not cry," she told herself. "Crying is not going to help anyone at all. Especially Harry." Drying her eyes, when she felt like she wasn't going to fall apart into one giant puddle on the floor, she left the bathroom and returned to the grid. And complete mayhem,

"What on earth is going on?" Ruth asked the room at large as men she didn't recognise in suits were walking around with boxes of files, much to her confusion.

"We're being raided by the JIC," Malcolm said. "Get Danny or Zoë on the phone and tell him what's happening now. No, don't touch that! That's very sensitive equipment!" Malcolm shouted as someone went after his latest toy, a bug that could be put inside a mobile phone and track all calls and texts without being detected. Ruth did as he suggested and called through. Danny picked up, mercifully after only two rings. Ruth quickly explained what was happening.

"Oh no," she said as the pods whirred and a man she didn't like and respected even less came on the grid. "Oliver Mace is here, head of the JIC. This is bad." Before she could say anything else, the phone was taken from her hand and disconnected by the man himself.

"No phone calls please," he said with an inane little grin that made Ruth feel sick. "As of now, you are all suspended. We are doing an investigation into section D, which we believe has more traitors than just Tom Quinn. You will all be investigated and I'd like you to all leave." No one moved. "Now." Again, no one moved an inch. "Or do I have to get security involved?" Reluctantly people began to move and Malcolm whispered to Ruth.

"He'll be okay. Doghouse three, two hours. Danny and Zoë will be there, I'll make sure." Ruth nodded once to show she'd understood and felt rather than saw the message being passed on to Sam and Colin. It felt like no time at all before Ruth was being escorted off of the grid. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt this disorientated, or worried. Because she was exceptionally worried about Harry's condition.

* * *

They'd met up and were discussing Mace, his history, his career and what they could do to get one up on him, and return to their desks where they should have been.

"I'm going to see Harry," Ruth said quietly but firmly.

"No one will be allowed to see him," Malcolm said.

"I don't care," she said. "I have nothing to do, and as a group we need Harry. We need access to our computers and our files. We can't do any of that away from Thames House. So I'm going to see Harry."

"There's nothing we can say to stop you is there?" Malcolm said, seemingly amused.

"No."

"Alright then," he replied. "If anyone can get us out of this mess, its him." It was one reason she wanted to see him. But it wasn't the main one. She wanted to see with her own two eyes that he was okay. She wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else until she knew he was alright.

* * *

Going through the hospital to Harry's room, she had the distinct impression she shouldn't be here. Hoping it didn't show on her face, she approached his room, and quickly tried the door. It was locked.

"Excuse me, you can't go in there," a security guard said with a horrible twang of an American accent, letting her know her job to get in and see Harry was going to be harder than she first thought.

"You've locked him in a hospital room?!" Ruth said, holding onto her temper with difficulty. "Exactly what has he done wrong, except being shot at?"

"Miss, I'm going to ask you to leave now," he said. Ruth fished out her security pass from her bag and showed it to him, but he was immovable. "This is ridiculous," Ruth said under her breath as she walked down the corridor, thinking of her next move. What was she supposed to do now?

* * *

Three hours later Ruth sensed her opportunity. The guard had changed on Harry's door, and while it was still a CIA guard, now it was a woman. Ruth sensed she might get further with her than her first attempt, so she left to get a ring and try and get herself worked up emotionally, and returned not ten minutes later, trying the locked door again. It was so frustrating to have Harry this near to her, and yet not be able to go in.

"I'm sorry, you can't go in there."

"I have to," she said, making her voice as weak as she could. "I have to see him, he's my husband please."

"Mr Pearce is not married," the woman said firmly. But the look on her face made it clear to Ruth that she didn't know this as a fact, especially when her eyes dropped to the (stolen) ring on Ruth's finger.

"We only got married last week, and now he's been shot at! Please, I need to see him. I'm desperate. Please." The woman didn't respond but Ruth knew she was getting through to her. "I need to talk to him. I'll only stay ten minutes. I know he's not supposed to have any visitors but… I'm his wife. Have a heart. Please."

"Five minutes," she said, unlocking the door quietly and efficiently.

"Thank you," Ruth said sincerely. She opened the door, and when it closed behind her she breathed a sigh of relief.

"That was a performance," Harry said from the bed.

"You heard all of it?"

"That door's thin," he said as she sat next to him. "Its good to see you."

"How are you?" she asked, genuinely concerned, but hopeful now that he was sitting and talking to her.

"My shoulder feels like it wants to drop off," he said. "I'll live."

"Good," she said with a tight smile. "Look, as much as I'd love to tell you I'm here just for your well being…"

"You're not," he finished, the smile fading from his face. "What is it?"

"The grid's being completely overrun by Oliver Mace and his cronies. They're going through everything, using Tom's actions as the excuse that the entire department is rotten. We can't even set foot in Thames House, we'll be escorted off."

"Where did he get permission for that?" Harry said furiously.

"He says it's the JIC, but I don't believe him. There is no way on earth they'd agree to this so quickly. It must have been not twenty minutes after you were…"

"Shot," Harry supplied. Ruth nodded, but found herself unable to say the words. The thought of Harry faced with a bullet was not a pleasant one. "No, they wouldn't have let it go through that quickly. Actually, at all, I'm inclined to say. I have some friends and people who owe me favours on the Joint Intelligence Committee. They won't agree. Or maybe Mace hasn't waited for a sanction from them."

"Mm, maybe," Ruth said quietly, her face deep in thought as she looked at Harry. But none of her thoughts related to Thames House at all. They were all about Harry personally.

"I'm going to discharge myself," he said. "Get Mace out of my office and make sure he doesn't get too comfy."

"Hmm," she said to herself. "Wait, what? Are you alright to be standing, after being… shot? Will you be okay?"

"It didn't hit my lung, only the muscle in my shoulder," he said, loving that she cared about him like this, even if she was trying to hide it from everyone else. She couldn't hide it from him. "Its painful but I'll live."

"Good," she said. "Not that you're in pain I mean, but the fact it didn't hit your lung or anything serious. What was Tom thinking?"

"Maybe I misjudged him," Harry said quietly. "Maybe he is being set up."

"Don't defend him," Ruth said harshly. "He shot you and then disappeared into thin air. That doesn't seem like an innocent man to me."

"We have to prove he's innocent," Harry said. "And you have to go."

"What?"

"There's a very angry CIA man arguing with the woman outside the door."

For the first time Ruth paid attention to something outside the small hospital room and heard raised voices. She knew her time was up. "By the way, I said I was your wife. I'm sure they'll see through it, but it was the only way I could think of to get to see you on such short notice."

"I don't mind," Harry said, a smile playing on his lips. "I'll be out of hospital soon. And then we'll fix this mess." Was he talking about just the professional mess? Or the state of their relationship too? Ruth felt that he was talking about more than one thing, and the tiny smile on his face seemed to confirm it.

"Good," Ruth said. She reached across the bed and held his hand gently. His thumb stroked the back of her hand softly and in that moment she didn't want to let go. Then the door burst open and Ruth was torn away from him. Two CIA goons were forcibly leading her out of the room, much to her annoyance. The last thing she heard was Harry demanding to see a doctor, which they couldn't refuse him. She had total faith that Harry would get his way and leave hospital, within the next hour at the very least. That thought warmed her as she was released by the Americans and went to her car.


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you for the great reviews.**

* * *

**3 days later.**

The team all emerged onto the grid, happy to be back, including Tom, Harry and Adam Carter, a new recruit from six. Harry turned to the techie "Malcolm, I want the system searched completely. If they've put a bugging device anywhere in our computers I want to know about it."

"I'm on it," Malcolm said happily, sitting in his chair and adjusting his monitor. It was clear from his face that he was happy to be in his domain again as the keys started clacking merrily on the keyboard. Ruth smiled at him, such a picture of contentment when working with computers. She sat down and immediately sunk in her chair, so low she couldn't see the computer screen. "Oh bloody hell," she said to herself, adjusting it back to how it should have been. Looking around the grid, she noticed other people doing exactly the same. It was good to be back.

Harry's blinds were completely drawn back, she'd never seen the wall of glass so unobstructed. She watched carefully as Harry sat down heavily, his arm in a sling and started to go through the files that had been left on his desk. After about two minutes he seemed to sense someone was watching him, and he looked at her, their eyes sending silent sparks between them in the air. Neither did anything at all, simply stayed still and watched the other. Eventually a loud bang came from behind Ruth and she turned away from Harry to see that Sam had accidentally dropped a stack of files that had been carelessly left on the edge of her desk. That was enough to jolt her back into work, so Ruth concentrated on her computer. But she still felt Harry's eyes on her throughout the course of the day.

* * *

That night, Ruth made a decision which she hoped she would not regret. Putting her coat and scarf on, she got into her car and drove over to Harry's house. Parking outside, she took a moment to gather her courage together. She didn't like women who crawled back to men, but she knew in her heart this was different. She just hoped that he would see it that way, and wouldn't give her up as a waste of time. After the way she had treated him, she wouldn't exactly blame him, but it would hurt to hear nonetheless.

Giving her makeup one last touch up in the car mirror she got out and locked her vehicle, hoping she wouldn't need it again that night. She walked up Harry's front steps and rang the bell, waiting anxiously. She instantly heard a yappy bark from inside and smiled. "Alright old girl, I'm going." The dog started to whine and she heard Harry chuckle. "Some guard dog you are." He opened the door and then stopped, surprised to see Ruth on his doorstep.

"Hi," she said in a timid voice.

"Hello."

"I wanted… to see you. To apologise. Hopefully not on your doorstep," she added. Harry got the point and opened the door wider, allowing her in. She smiled but the smile faded as she saw the guarded look on his face. "Harry, I'm sorry," she said quietly. "I never should have let other people come between us. It wasn't fair on you, and I'm sorry."

"Do you mean that?" he asked quietly. "Or are you saying that because you miss me?"

"I do miss you," she admitted. "But I don't lie either. Of course I mean it Harry. I have too much pride to tell you this if it wasn't true."

"You want to start again with me don't you?" he asked quietly.

"That's not how I'd have put it," she said. "I'd more like to phrase it, being given a second chance. I think we've gone too far to start again from scratch. But I do want you."

She was blushing slightly, and that was the first indication to him that what she said was perfectly true. The problem was, he'd wanted to hear this for so long, he wasn't sure if his rational brain was working.

"You have to promise me, that you won't let what others think, or say make a difference to us," he said, needing this reassurance from her. "Please, I need that from you."

"I'm not going to promise that I won't be affected by it, because I probably will be," she said. "I will promise not to take it out on you. None of it is your fault. I know that. I'm sorry."

"That'll do," he said with a smile that almost stopped her heart. They were both still standing in his hallway, but neither cared or even noticed. He reached for her with his uninjured right arm and ran his thumb along her cheek gently. "So beautiful," he whispered without willing himself to speak. She smiled almost shyly at the compliment but didn't look away from his intense hazel eyes. He leaned towards her and so slowly caught her lips in a slow burning kiss, which lasted long, heavenly minutes. When they parted, her cheeks were flushed, eyes a sparkling blue and her breathing heavy.

"God, you kiss so well," she said to herself. Harry smirked and gave her another prime example, which was metaphorically sweeping her off of her feet.

"Ruth, are you staying here tonight?" he asked softly.

"I'd like to," she said. "Really, but if you don't want me here…"

"I do want you here, of course I do," he said instantly. "Its just… with my injury I've been advised not to indulge in…"

"Oh," she said, smiling at him as it became clear what he meant.

"I shouldn't do anything strenuous for at least a couple of weeks," he said. "The doctor will check it and give me the all clear soon. Very soon I hope," he added in a low purr. "The bullet didn't hit anything vital, its just a precaution. At my age, you know. You don't have to stay here with me tonight."

"Harry, its more than just sex between us," she said simply. "I don't know what it is between us, but its more than that, and you know that. I haven't spent the night in bed with you yet, just sleeping."

"No you haven't," he agreed.

"Do you need some help with your sling or anything? Washing? Showering, I mean?"

"To be honest, I don't really need help. He hit my left side, so… But if you want to get in the shower with me, I am very reluctant to say no." She laughed at that and then jumped as she felt a wet nose on her ankle. Scarlet was sniffing at her. Ruth stayed still for a moment as the dog decided she wasn't worth further investigating and trotted off to the lounge. Ruth smiled at the dog endearingly. She could get used to her if she was to spend a lot of time over at Harry's house. Which she hoped she would be.

"Do you want something to eat? Or do you want to come upstairs?"

"I'm not hungry," she said quietly. "Upstairs would be good."

"Mm." He kissed her again, slowly and expertly before he went to remove her coat. Doing that one handed was going to be impossible though, and he looked slightly frustrated. Ruth knew what the problem was and smiled. She took off her scarf, and then turned to her coat. She undid the buttons herself (even though she would have liked Harry's help) and dropped the coat to the floor. Then, without missing a beat, she started on the buttons of her blouse.

"Ruth?"

She said nothing, instead looked him straight in the eye as the fabric slowly came off and pooled on the floor. She had a knowing look on her face as she stepped out of her shoes, making her lose an inch or two of height, so Harry was now looking down on her. Then her hands went to the zipper on her skirt. That was when Harry stopped her. Leaning forward he whispered in her ear.

"This is bitterly unfair when I can't have more. At least tonight."

"You can still look," she said. "I like the way you look at me."

"How?" he asked, even as his eyes slid to her bra, unable to look away from her breasts.

"You look at me like… I'm the most beautiful thing you've ever seen." She guessed he'd done this with a lot of other women in the past, but right at this moment in time it didn't bother her as much as it should have done.

"That's because you are." He reached for her, his hand snaking around her waist and pulling her close, her bare skin against the material of his shirt. She let him hold her for a moment but then changed her mind.

"Upstairs," she said. "If all we can do is touch and kiss, I'd like to be lying on a bed to do it." Not being one to deny her, he agreed, and they went upstairs.

* * *

**11 days later.**

Harry was feeling the not too pleasant strain of abstinence. His injury meant he couldn't have sex, but he was hoping the doctor would tell him that would change from tonight. It had been two months since he'd had sex and he was missing it. It didn't bother him when he wasn't in a relationship, but having Ruth with him all day at work, almost within arms reach, and quite often at home, his or hers in the evenings was almost torture. He wanted to sleep with her desperately, but he had been warned about permanently damaging the muscles, so he'd refrained. He hoped to God that tonight would be as explosive as he was hoping. He didn't know if he could wait another week._ God Pearce, when did you turn into a horny teenager,_ he thought to himself.

"Right, have you felt any pain or discomfort in the area?" the doctor said while moving Harry's arm to see the shoulder muscles could move properly.

"I did do for the first couple of days, but not recently. Its just felt more… stiff than anything else."

"Okay," the doctor replied. "And any pain medication?"

"I used the derisory amount you gave me, but nothing since. It doesn't hurt, it just feels… disused."

"Stretch your arm out for me please," the doctor requested. Harry did, wondering what he was looking for. "And now stretch it up towards the ceiling." Again, Harry did as he was told. "I think your muscles are in exceptional condition, considering it hasn't been long since you were shot."

"Its looking okay then?" Harry asked hopefully.

"Yes," he said. "I'd say you can slowly start using it again, it might take a few weeks to get rid of the stiffness, but give it a try. If you feel any pain I want you to call me. I'll prescribe some heavy painkillers, but I think you'll be fine."

"Just the news I wanted to hear," he said honestly, breathing a mental sigh of relief.

"Please do your best not to get shot again in the future," the doctor said.

"I'll try." He put his shirt back on, trying to get his left hand to cooperate, and the doctor left him alone to get dressed. As he was adjusting his tie, his mobile rang.

"Well? How did it go?" Ruth asked eagerly.

"Depends," Harry said, thinking he'd tease her for a few moments more. "Are you asking because you're concerned about me, or because you want to have a rather exciting evening with me tonight?"

"Harry!" she said, completely embarrassed by this. She was thanking the heavens that Harry had had the foresight to encrypt their phones. She didn't want anyone to overhear these conversations. Or even worse, make transcripts of the conversations.

"Well?" he continued.

"Both," she said honestly. "I want you to be well, because you are really grumpy and mean with your arm in a sling, but I also wouldn't mind having a wild night of passion with you either."

"Well, at least you're honest," he said and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"So everything went well then?"

"How do you know that?"

"You'd be grumbling if it hadn't," Ruth said accurately. "Saying something about bloody inhumane doctors or something like that."

"True," he said. "So yours or mine later tonight?"

"Not answering that," she said. "I have to concentrate on work. Unlike some who shall remain nameless."

"Forgive me, but I was shot."

"I know," she said, the seriousness creeping back into her voice. "I'm only teasing."

"Save it for later," he said in a low tone, making her blush. "I'll be back in half an hour."

"Bye." Ruth put the phone down, a smile on her face.

"Harry alright then?" Ruth looked up as Adam spoke. He'd been walking by her desk and clearly overheard. Ruth didn't feel as nervous or uncomfortable discussing him with Adam. As Adam had married a fellow agent, she knew he wouldn't be gossiping about her at the very least.

"Yeah, he's fine," Ruth said quietly. "He'll be back in half an hour if you need him for anything?"

"No," Adam said, a cheeky grin on his face. "Just checking you'd be in a good mood for the rest of the day."

Ruth scowled at him, but it was good natured. She was happier than she could remember being in a long, long while.

* * *

That night Ruth found herself staring at the ceiling, naked and completely exhausted. "I'm glad your shoulder's better," she said quietly, making Harry chuckle.

"So am I," he said fervently. "Although it twinges a bit."

"Are you okay?" she asked, suddenly concerned.

"Yes, it just seems stiff from disuse," he said. "And a sudden bout of exuberance."

"I'm not going to apologise for that," she said lowly. She turned over and rested her upper body on Harry's good side, so she could look into his eyes. He was watching her warmly and he drifted a hand through her tangled hair. "What time is it?"

Harry looked at the clock. "Two."

"Oh God, we've got to be up in five hours," she said, groaning into his chest.

"It was a good night though," Harry said cheekily. "And early morning."

"How's the fixed explosion coming?" Ruth asked.

"We've got a flat," Harry said. "We're going to blow it up next week."

"No one's going to get hurt are they?"

"No, of course not. The entire block of flats is set for demolition anyway," Harry replied. "But we've… borrowed it and making it look like its occupied for the last couple of weeks."

"Good," Ruth said. "Do you really think people will believe that red mercury exists?"

"Reason mixed with desire," he said. Ruth looked at him curiously. "People want to use it, they want to believe it exists. And there is… sketchy evidence at best about whether or not it can be made. Plus I have a sleeper I need to visit."

"Who?" Ruth asked curiously.

"Fred Roberts," Harry replied, continuing to stroke her hair. "The nobel prize winning scientist."

"He's never been a sleeper!" Ruth said, completely amazed. "When did you recruit him?"

"Mm… nearly thirty years ago," Harry said, amused at her reaction. Ruth was speechless at that, but decided to let it go. There was no point going on about it.

"I need sleep," she whispered, turning over on the mattress.

"You were the one who insisted on round four," he reminded her. She shrugged easily and pulled the duvet tight to her.

"Goodnight." She felt a light kiss to the back of her neck and smiled as she slipped into sleep.

* * *

**Moving onto 3-2 next. Hope you enjoyed this get together. (There will not be a related M rated piece, but I am working on a stand alone piece of M rated smut!)**


	14. Chapter 14

**Two weeks later**

* * *

Harry was busy when his office door opened with no knock. "Ah, Ruth what is it?"

"How did you know it was me?" she asked, taken aback for a moment. "You didn't even look up."

"You never knock," he said simply, putting his pen down and closing the file. "What is it?"

"I'm worried about Tom," Ruth said, taking her seat opposite Harry's desk.

"What about him?"

"He's taking this too seriously," Ruth said.

"We have people lives in our hands on a daily basis. You can't take this job too seriously Ruth."

"No, I mean he seems out of control. With himself." That made Harry look at Ruth curiously.

"Explain."

"At first, he really wanted to do this," Ruth said and Harry agreed.

"He thought it was a great idea to flush out possible terror cells, which it is."

"Exactly," Ruth said. "Now he's changed his mind. He says this is immoral and he's excessively worried about Fred Roberts family."

"Well, I am too," Harry said. "I don't enjoy the fact that his wife and daughters are being watched by terrorists."

"Of course not," Ruth said, and then she sighed. She didn't know how to explain it without Tom exhibiting the behaviour she was talking about in front of Harry. "He keeps saying that this is wrong. We've gone too far and its immoral. Please, I'm worried about him. I'm talking to you as my boss, not the man I'm in a relationship with. I think we have reason to be worried about him."

He looked at her for a moment and then nodded. "I'll have a word with him, see if he's alright."

"Thank you."

* * *

"What is it Harry, I'm busy," Tom said as he came into his office.

"Close the door," Harry said. "I'm concerned about what I'm seeing Tom." He hadn't just taken Ruth's word for it, but after what she'd said he'd watched Tom carefully, and admitted that she might have had a point.

"What?" he asked confused.

"Are you okay with the Fred Roberts surveillance you're monitoring?"

"Yeah, yeah. Course Harry. Why?"

"You seem… you don't seem comfortable with this operation."

"Do you not ever feel that we're…"

"What?" Harry asked as Tom tailed off.

"Never mind," he said, closing off. "It doesn't matter."

"Tom…"

"I'm busy. I have to go." Nothing further was said, because Tom left his office incredibly quickly. Harry sighed, and wondered if Ruth was right. Maybe Tom really was having a problem with this. Spying in general. He hadn't been right since he'd become involved with Christine Dale. Maybe he wanted out, but just didn't know what to do? How to get out. But then again, maybe Harry was reading too much into it too. Sighing, he returned to his paperwork.

* * *

That was until Danny burst in an hour later, without knocking. "This better be good," Harry said.

"Tom's gone," he said heavily.

"Gone where?"

"He's taken Roberts and just… gone."

"He'll have taken him to see his family," Harry said, getting up from his chair. "We have to go after him."

Danny nodded and left his office, Harry following quickly. "Can you two keep an eye on the family and call if anything happens. I don't want any casualties from Tom's stupidity. Try and see if he's passed any speed cameras too." Malcolm nodded and Ruth agreed quietly. Her eyes caught Harry's for a moment as Malcolm worked and he nodded to the silent message. She'd willed him to be careful, to not do anything stupid and he knew what her silence was saying. "I'll be careful." Ruth smiled, grateful for that.

Danny, Adam, Zoë and Harry went up to the roof. Tom might be halfway up the country by now and he'd be sensible enough to avoid main roads, but with a helicopter they had a good shot at finding him before he caused mayhem, especially with Ruth and Malcolm working on it back on the grid.

* * *

"Go away." Harry was sat on his sofa, a large whisky in hand after decommissioning Tom Quinn. By any standards today had been a bad day. He knew it would be Ruth ringing the doorbell but he didn't want to talk to her. He'd say something he'd regret because he was in a God awful mood, and he didn't want her to run from him because of his temper.

"Harry, its freezing and wet, let me in!" she called through the letter box.

"No," he said, not loud enough for her to hear him.

"I'll be standing here all night, and the longer I'm here in the cold and the rain, the more annoyed I'll be when you finally let me in."

Harry sighed, but knew from experience that when she'd set her mind to something there was no arguing with her. He drained his whisky, poured another and set it on the table before answering the door. He felt a twinge of guilt as he saw the rain dripping down her, her hair drenched and her coat completely soaked. "Sorry. I'm not in a sociable mood. You might want to get out now. I might say some things I'll regret."

"Harry, you can't make me leave you alone to wallow in grief," she said as she quickly removed her coat.

"I thought you liked running away," he said quietly.

"I've apologised," she said quietly. "I meant it. I'm not a liar. I know you're upset, but I'm not leaving you to your depression." Harry looked sadly at her and she sighed. "Harry, I'm not just here for sex. I'm here if and when you need me."

"I'll be miserable tonight," he warned.

"That's okay," she said quietly.

"You might end up hating me."

"I'm wet through, you've made an excellent start on that already."

"Alright then," he said, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Make yourself at home, the whisky's flowing."

"I hate whisky," she said honestly.

"You said you loved it," Harry said, surprised.

"No, I said I loved the taste of whisky on you, if you remember rightly. That's a very different thing." He smiled at her again and sat down heavily. "Scarlet will be hiding from you."

"I know." Ruth sat down opposite him and ran her fingers through her wet and tangled hair. She wasn't here to say anything, she was just here to be there for Harry if he needed anything. So she slipped her shoes off, tucked her feet under her skirt and waited for Scarlet to make her (slow and wary) way into the lounge.

* * *

**I will be skipping a few episodes in series three. Hope no one minds. I'm trying to get HR to make their relationship mean more than just the physical, and I hope this is believable. Thanks for reading, and especially reviewing.**


	15. The Prodigal Daughter

Time went passed, with nothing momentous happening. The grid came to terms with Tom's abrupt departure, and it was a common sight to see Harry and Ruth leaving the grid together, one that didn't receive any comments any longer. Adam had taken over the position as section chief, and he was so far getting on well with the team. Ruth warmed to him. He was a cheeky, easy going man with a sense of right and wrong. Adam also happened to be the first person she'd met who had been aware of her relationship with Harry before he met her. With the result that she didn't feel judged in any way. It was a nice feeling.

People had got used to it, but she still felt that on occasion when Harry sided with her operationally that some felt it was because of their private life. Ruth knew that wasn't true, because he frequently disagreed with her too. And neither had any effect on their personal life. They tried to keep work at work, and when at home talk about normal mundane things. It was a nice contrast which worked well for them.

Soon though, a case came up which had a profound effect on Harry. The middle east talks had come to a grinding halt when one of the delegates had been murdered. Their investigation had brought them to a covert group called the November committee. Everything seemed just like a normal case, until Harry got up and paced the room when one of the members was discussed, which made Adam tail off and silence filled the room.

"I didn't even know she was back in Britain," he said quietly. "She never told me." Everyone looked at Ruth to decode Harry's quiet musings but she didn't know what he was talking about.

"Harry?"

"Catherine is my daughter," he said in the deathly hush in the room.

"But... Her last name?" Adam questioned quietly.

"Yes, she took it after I divorced her mother. How can she be mixed up in something like this?" Still a shocking silence. "Shall we crack on?" he asked the room at large, turning from the picture of his daughter on the screen to everyone else.

"Right," Adam said, trying to get things on track. It moved on but it broke Ruth's heart, the look of sadness on Harry's face.

That night they went home apart. Ruth thought Harry might need some space, and she also assumed that everything she said would be wrong. She hadn't wanted to impose her company on him and force him to be nice to her. He probably wanted to mope, and she didn't blame him. She couldn't imagine how it would feel, not to know your own daughter was back in the country.

She'd turned the TV on and was watching some mindless crime drama and guessed the murderer within about five minutes. But it was taking her mind off of life at the moment. Fidget jumped up and settled on her feet comfortably, stretching out and purring. He might be a monster to Harry, but to her he was incredibly sweet. She loved having a cat, it made life easier for her at home. Away from the madness of the grid.

Ruth was surprised when her doorbell rang, repeatedly. Someone was just pushing the button over and over again, making Fidget yowl in irritation. "Alright, I'm coming. Calm down!" She unlocked the bolt on the door and turned the key as quickly as she could to calm her hissing cat. "Harry?" she asked blankly.

"Ruth," he said slowly. She could tell he was absolutely raving drunk. Just from one word, his voice was slurred. As he came in, she saw he was stumbling when he walked and his eyes were bloodshot. Plus he absolutely reeked of whisky.

"God Harry, you didn't have to drink the entire bar," she said as he went straight to the lounge and sat down on the sofa. Fidget gave her a glare as if to say "I moved out of the way for that?" before walking off, tail held high in the air. "Tell me you didn't drive over!"

"Walked," he said.

"Its more than three miles," she said to herself as he clearly wasn't listening. She put her hand on his chest and was surprised that he felt cold to the touch. He'd been outside for some time, that much he was sure of.

"She doesn't even care about me," he said quietly. "She… sh… she told Danny that.. I ws… dead."

"Oh Harry," she said sadly. She sat down next to him and stroked his hair softly, trying not to worry about his heavy breathing. She was sure that this much alcohol wasn't good for him.

"I've ignored her… twenty years. What've I done?"

"It'll be alright," she soothed.

"What if she's working… double agent," he slurred. "What'll I do?"

"Catherine will be fine," Ruth soothed gently, knowing all he needed was reassurance. She was very careful not to use the word "promise" because she didn't know how Catherine was involved. Her words could come back to haunt her.

"My little girl…" he said, and she knew he was very close to crying.

"Your little girl isn't so little any more," she said.

"Always be my baby," Harry said, his head lolling back on his shoulders.

"No, no," Ruth interrupted quickly. "If you're going to fall asleep, please do it in bed, I can't carry you."

"Mm," he said.

"Come on, get up!" she shouted at him. That was enough for him to open his eyes and sit up slightly, his head looking too heavy for his neck to support. "Come on, I'll help you." He nodded slowly and with effort and Ruth hauled him up. Apart from a few footsteps, Harry was no use at all. More of a hindrance than a help. He collapsed heavily on the bed and Ruth removed his belt and shoes, but otherwise left him how he was.

"I love her…" he said sleepily.

"Then tell her that," Ruth said firmly. "When all this rubbish is over."

"She might be a double agent," he slurred, his eyes open and looking at her sadly.

"Yes, she might be," Ruth agreed. "But it doesn't matter because she's your daughter. You'll deal with it, if and when it arises."

"I love you," he said, making her freeze as he continued. "You speak so much sense, and I just... love you." He planted a sloppy wet kiss on her cheek before promptly falling asleep, his snores filling the room. Ruth was frozen to the spot. Harry had just told her that he loved her. **Her**. Was that his drunkenness speaking, or was it how he genuinely felt when sober? The fact that he'd said those words to her brought her up short. She didn't know what to think and started to question how she felt for Harry as she got undressed, planning to at least try and get some sleep.

She was incredibly fond of him and she fancied him rotten, the amount of sex they had together made that perfectly clear. But did she love him? What would it feel like if Harry was out of her life? How would it feel if she saw him kissing another woman? A brief feeling of uncontrollable rage and jealousy flashed through her at the thought of him with someone else. Was that just lust? She'd been at section D for more than a year now, and been embroiled with him for most of that time. Yes, she answered herself suddenly. It was more than that. Actually, as she thought about it, she realised that she felt more for this man than any previous lover she'd ever had. It would more than hurt her were she to lose him. It might actually break her and she didn't know if she'd be able to bear it. Just contemplating it made her heart feel encased in ice.

"I love you too," she whispered, as she took a moment to look at him. Even if he hadn't meant it, she did. And hopefully one day he'd say it to her, when he hadn't downed an entire bottle of whisky. It was with that thought that she fell asleep.

* * *

Over the next few days she saw Harry more down and defeated than ever before. It was completely unlike him and she knew the effort of watching his daughter was making him incredibly tense. It was with a whole lot of relief that they found the mole, Nicolas Ash's boyfriend. Catherine had simply been a film maker wanting a good undercover story, and nothing more. It had been a moment of pure relief for Harry when they had discovered that.

Catherine was currently at her mothers flat in south London, and she was flying out to Israel tomorrow night. But much to Harry's relief, she had agreed to meet him before hand. It seemed sad that he had to arrange time with his daughter like this, and the worry he'd had that she would ignore him, but it couldn't completely overshadow the fact that he was happy to see her

That night Harry and Ruth were in bed together, doing nothing more than reading when he turned to her. "Thank you."

"For what?" she asked slipping a bookmark in her novel and putting it down.

"For not throwing me out when I arrived drunk on your doorstep. For keeping a level head when I was an idiot."

She smiled at him. "You're welcome. And I think the hangover was punishment enough."

"God my head felt like it was imploding."

"Serves you right," she said easily. "Next time you're upset, don't drink an entire bottle of whisky. And what was I supposed to do? Kick you out on the street?"

"I wouldn't have blamed you," he said honestly. "Hardly respectable behaviour was it?"

"Harry, you are a gentleman about ninety percent of the time. I'm not going to be mad or angry over the other ten. Calm down."

"I don't deserve you," he said, smiling at her.

"No you don't," he agreed. "Glad to know we see eye to eye on that."

"If its okay, I might tell Catherine about you."

"What do you mean _might_?" Ruth asked carefully.

"Well, if she's in a confrontational mood, everything I say will be wrong so I won't even try. But otherwise I'd like to tell her about you. I don't think she'll kill me."

"You don't have to," Ruth said quietly even though she was touched. "I understand things are… difficult with her. I won't be offended if you don't tell her."

"I have to be honest with her," Harry said. "I've spent too long treating her like a child, and she isn't any longer."

"No she isn't," Ruth agreed firmly. "Thank you. There's something I wanted to ask you while we're on the subject. Sort of."

"Go on."

She paused for a moment, thinking of how to phrase it. "There's quite a large age gap between us Harry. Does it bother you?"

"Why would it?" he asked confused.

"I'm closer to Catherine's age than yours," she said honestly. "I wondered if you ever thought, this is strange, or off or… anything. It didn't matter when we started because it was just…"

"Sex?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, I was going to say just physical, but yes," she said. "But now we're in a relationship it different. I wondered if it bothered you."

"No, it doesn't," he said calmly. "To be honest I've never given your age any consideration at all. You're you," he said with a slightly crooked smile. "You're beautiful and intelligent and incredible. Your age is a number, it doesn't bother me. Although I must admit to having thought once or twice that you won't want to be saddled with me for long. Being that I'm older than you by quite a bit."

"You are, but I find older men tend to be…" she tailed off, wondering how to say it without seeming crass. "More considerate."

"You're saying older men are better in bed aren't you?" Harry teased. "Who else have you slept with?"

"I am not giving you names," Ruth said firmly, a rosy blush on her cheeks. "But yes, in my experience older men are better in bed, they care more about their partner and they genuinely are more considerate. The few men of my own age I dated were terrible and selfish. Anyway, I find slightly older men much more attractive."

"Oh, do you really?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, dropping the subject of her previous lovers for a while. It hurt him to think of his Ruth with anyone else, even if it had been before they met. His Ruth writhing with another man. Making love to another man. No! Harry shook his head forcefully and Ruth frowned at him.

"Thinking of you with someone else is not… pleasant."

"No, I'm sure its not," she said seriously. She'd thought the reverse about Harry in the past and knew how torturous it was to even contemplate. "So, we've decided that neither of us mind the age gap have we?"

"Yes we have," he said, glad the subject was changed. He jerked suddenly when he felt her hand in a rather sensitive place, accompanied by a wicked smile on her face. He reached down and removed her hand delicately before rolling over on top of her, pressing her body into the mattress almost comfortingly. She shrieked under the scrabble of flesh, but he soon had her hands caught above her head and had her immobile. They stayed still like that until their breathing had slowed and he leaned in for a kiss. It was a long, hot night.

* * *

The next day Harry met Catherine in St James Park. Neutral territory much to both of their relief. What surprised Harry is that Catherine was already there when he arrived. He himself was ten minutes early. "Hi sweetheart," he said as he sat down next to her. "How are you?"

"Fine," she said guardedly. Wary, as if Harry might be on the attack. He didn't have the energy or the desire for a fight.

"I'm deeply sorry we were watching you," he said. "It was not my choice, and your name came up before anyone realised you were my daughter."

"How could people not know?" she asked quizzically.

"Your last name," Harry said simply. "We were investigating the group, and you cropped up as an anomaly. I'm sorry we were following you. It was not personal."

"I don't like what you do dad," she said. "And to have someone following me like that… Its not right."

"We were only doing it to protect you," Harry said.

"Not to check who I was working for?" Catherine asked with wide eyes. Harry's silence was as good as a confirmation. "I understand," she said quietly. "And I didn't come here for a fight. I don't like fighting with you."

"Nor I you," he said truthfully. She smiled at that. Tightly, but it was at least a smile. "Catherine, why did you tell Danny that I was dead?"

"Because I'm hurt," she said. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Did you have to cut off all contact with us after you divorced mum?"

"No. I didn't have to," he said honestly. "I'm a weak man and a fool. I thought it might be easier to step back. I saw how much you hated being away from your mother. And I was a coward. When I realised my mistake it was too late. You both wanted nothing to do with me and I don't blame you."

"Dad…"

"I don't," he said honestly. "I was a bit of a rubbish father. To both you and your brother. I'd like to make up for it now. When you come back into the country I'd like to know. Not be the one shocked when I realise you're back in Britain."

"I was being a bit selfish," she admitted. "I should have called."

"Yes you should have," he agreed, looking at her firmly. Catherine laughed at him for a moment. "Be careful when you fly out won't you?"

"Dad…"

"Promise me."

"I'm not a child any more," she said.

"I know that," Harry said. "You're a beautiful young woman. But I'm always going to see you as that little girl who insisted on dressing up in an angel outfit every Christmas."

"Oh dad," she said with a small smile. "I'll be careful."

"Good."

"Something's different about you," Catherine said after a moment. "You seem… well, nicer somehow. What is it?"

"I've met someone," he said, feeling it was pointless to hide it. He had wanted to tell Catherine anyway.

"Well, I must admit its about time," Catherine said. "Mum remarried barely a year after you got divorced."

"I know," he said. Harry had known, and it had hurt him immensely at the time that Jane had married the man she'd been cheating on while she had been married to Harry. But none of that was appropriate for Catherine to hear. "I do want Jane to be happy you know."

"She is," Catherine said. "And I want you to be happy too."

"Ruth's nice," he said, wanting to make sure that they didn't get off topic completely. "Far too nice for me actually."

"I'm sure," Catherine said with a smile. "Look, I do have to go. I have a flight to catch."

"Please, keep in contact with me," Harry begged. "I hate it when you don't."

"I will," she said hearing the note of pleading in his voice. "Graham's alright too. I keep an eye on him."

"Good," Harry said. "Take care."

"I will." Much to Harry's surprise and pleasure Catherine gave him a brief hug. "Bye dad."

"Bye." Catherine walked off quickly and Harry leaned back on the bench, more than happy with that conversation with his eldest child. It could have gone so much worse. He stayed there for a while, enjoying the weak sunlight on his face. He hadn't felt this contented for a long time.

* * *

**Hope I dealt with the Catherine episode okay. More soon. (I have an unexpected weekend off!)**


	16. Chapter 16

In bed that night Harry kept frowning. After twenty minutes Ruth became exasperated. "Oh for Gods sake Harry, you keep making faces. What is wrong with you?!"

"My shoulder hurts," he admitted quietly.

"Oh," she said, feeling her anger drain away. "Your gunshot wound?"

"I don't know," he said. "It must be, I guess. it's the muscles across the back, it just feels… really uncomfortable and painful."

"Roll onto your front," she said quietly. He did what she asked and then chuckled to himself. "What?"

"You normally like me on my back," he said, clearly amused. "I'm no good to you this way around."

"Shut up," she said. He rested his head on his arms as Ruth moved so she was straddling him. When sleeping Ruth wore only an old T shirt and her knickers, which meant he could feel her warm thighs on either side of his hips. He groaned into the pillow at the knowledge that her warm bare skin was so close to him.

"God, do you have an off switch?" she teased.

"I can't help it that I find you irresistible," he said honestly. She laughed but then she started to gently massage his shoulders, and he groaned at the pressure.

"Sorry, does that hurt?" she asked.

"Just a little lighter please," he said. She did as he asked and her fingers on his skin felt so soothing. He was unaware of the noises he was making as she rubbed his back, as he'd reached a state of bliss. He never wanted to move from here, it was so comfortable.

Eventually her hands reached the waist of his boxers and she stopped. Getting off of him, she realised that he'd fallen asleep. She covered him with the duvet and then got comfy herself. She was glad that she could do this for him. Help soothe his pain. She slept with a smile on her face.

* * *

Ruth had gone up to the roof for some fresh air. It was a slow day. To be honest it had been a slow couple of weeks. She felt surprised when a hand slipped around her waist. Turning to her right she smiled at Harry. "I'm on my lunch break," she said to excuse her leaving her desk.

"Oh, I don't care about that," Harry said. "Stay up here all day if you want."

"Hmm," she said, leaning into him as he tightened his hands right around her waist.

"Its raining," she said after a minute of silence, feeling a couple of wet drops on her face.

"No its not," he said. "Its snowing." Ruth frowned and then looked around, sure enough seeing tiny flakes falling to the ground. Harry sighed and looked as if he'd just received news that Al-Qaeda had set up their headquarters next door.

"Traffic'll get gridlocked. It'll be on every British news channel that we can't cope with cold weather. I need to go and sort this out."

"You are so negative!" Ruth said. "Can't you appreciate the beauty of it for five minutes?"

"Not when it causes mayhem in London, no," he said sternly, but his eyes were sparkling at her.

"Miserable grouch," she said, turning to watch the snow lightly fall.

"Take that back."

"No," she said firmly.

His fingers started tickling the back of her neck sensually and she shrugged him off. "Take it back."

"No," she said. "Take a minute and enjoy the weather. We so rarely get snow here, and I want you to appreciate it." Harry walked next to Ruth and spent about ten seconds looking over the city, but Ruth knew he was itching to get back to his office and make some phone calls. "Go on. Get back to work, I know you want to."

"Thank you," he said sincerely. "I love you." They both froze and Ruth stared at Harry for a long moment. "I intended to say that in a much more romantic setting," he said softly. "I'm sorry."

"Well, its better than the first time you told me anyway," she said, trying to stay calm.

"I've never told you that before," he sad firmly. He was keeping it back for a special occasion.

"You did," she said. "When Catherine was involved in the November committee and you got incredibly drunk. You told me you loved me."

"That was over a month ago!" Harry said, indignant about the fact she'd never mentioned it and angry at his own stupidity for blurting it out like that.

"I didn't know if you meant it or if you were just intoxicated and saying whatever came into your mind."

"Well I did mean it," he said firmly, an arm sneaking around her waist. "I do mean it. I love you."

"I love you too," she replied, an easy smile on her face. He grinned at her, brushed a few flakes of snow off of her hair and drew her in for a deep passionate all consuming kiss.

"Harry, we're getting calls from the London transport authority…" Adam started. He trailed off when he saw what he'd walked in on. Harry and Ruth lip locked together, giving no indication that they'd even heard him. Adam smiled for a moment, but needed to make his presence known, Harry really was needed back on the grid. He decided to get rid of tact completely and instead he shouted. "Harry!"

They broke apart, Ruth's face red, Harry still watching her and stroking her hair as he spoke to Adam. "What can I do for you Mr Carter?"

"London transport authority," he said, all humour now gone. "They're worried about the snow and they've lost three road gritters."

"I'll be down in a minute," he said. Adam recognised his dismissal and left, knowing that no matter how embroiled those two were in each other, they knew how important their jobs were and would be back down on the grid soon.


	17. Personal Burglar

**10 months later.**

* * *

Time passed. Things between Harry and Ruth went well. Life wasn't always easy, but at times it could be very enjoyable. They had lost Zoë, much to everyone's astonishment. She'd been sentenced to ten years in prison for doing nothing more than her job in an operation that had gone disastrously wrong. They had got her out of prison and given her a free pass abroad to Chile. But her life had been dramatically altered simply because she had served her country. It had made the spirit drop dramatically in Thames House for at least a couple of months. It felt like such a poor reward for her who had given so much to the country. They had moved Adam's wife Fiona over from six to fill the vacancy but it had taken a while to get used to Zoë's absence.

Ruth had quietly filled every requirement Thames House had offered her and without any fanfare at all, she'd been moved up the career ladder from a junior analyst to the senior intelligence analyst in section D. Her job hadn't changed at all, and she realised she'd been doing the job for months before being given the official promotion. Life was good.

* * *

Harry sat in his office on a random Tuesday morning and was going through his internal mail. One envelope in particular caught his attention and he opened it quickly. "Oh my God," he said to himself. The letter was inviting him to interview for the position of DG. Director General of MI5. He couldn't imagine anything worse. Being responsible for one section was bad enough. But being ultimately responsible for every bad thing MI5 did? Everything the security services did wrong? No, that didn't sound like his cup of tea at all. He'd been ambitious in his youth, but now he was comfortable where he was. Even taking Ruth out of the equation, he still would have no desire to leave section D. But he couldn't exactly say no either. With a heavy sigh he picked up the phone and called Malcolm, asking him to come through to his office. Malcolm would be his first line of defence.

"What is it?" the techie asked coming in at Harry's request. Harry had seemed rather concerned.

"Close the door." Malcolm did and sat in front of Harry's desk.

"Have I exceeded my remit?" Malcolm asked tentatively. He didn't ask the section heads permission as much as he should do, because Harry usually just agreed and signed off on Malcolm's projects. He wondered if the bug he'd planted in the German embassy had been a step too far.

"No, I don't know what hacking or technological stuff you're doing and I don't want to. It'll only confuse me. No, I've been offered an interview."

"For what?" Malcolm asked carefully.

"DG."

"Oh! Wow, that I was not expecting. That's… great."

"No, it isn't," Harry said in a low voice. "Its not great at all. I don't want the damn job, I'd rather be here. I like my office, I like my team and I know we do good work. I don't want to leave."

"So what do you want from me?" Malcolm asked.

"I'd like you to help me fail," Harry said. "But not fail so badly that I'm sacked from my current post."

"Oh, okay," Malcolm said. "I can get some likely questions together, coach you on how to answer. Normal stuff."

"Thank you," Harry said. "And I'd appreciate it if you kept this to yourself."

"Not a word shall pass my lips," Malcolm said.

"I haven't told Ruth yet either," Harry said. "I will, but I want to do it in my own time." Malcolm nodded in understanding.

"Do you mind if I go back to my desk? I'm running an extensive CCTV operation on Robert Morgan's movements over the past three months."

"Do what you have to do," Harry said, his lips twitching. Malcolm was so good at his job that it didn't matter how many spotty teenagers were queuing up for his post. Malcolm was simply the best there was.

* * *

They had Morgan in their holding cells and Adam and Danny were interrogating him with less than pleasant measures. It was getting worse the longer it went on, and no one was exactly happy with the methods they were employing, but as the alternative was letting a bomb explode in central London, they felt they had little choice.

Ruth had discovered that Morgan had an six year old daughter which they'd previously missed. She lived with the mother and had her mothers surname which was why she hadn't come up. Ruth had managed to produce heaps of information about the calls between Morgan and his daughter over the past twelve months. She needed a kidney transplant and was incredibly sick. Morgan called her all the time, trying to stay in contact with her, in spite of a broken marriage. Ruth felt incredibly wary of handing the information over to Adam. He seemed to be too close to this and she wasn't sure what he might do with the information. No matter what they had to do to Robert Morgan to stop a bomb exploding, none of it was the little girls fault.

Ruth made a snap decision. She picked up the information and went through to Harry's office. He had barely looked up when Ruth flicked the lock and pulled the blinds in quick succession. "Ruth, we haven't got time…" he started weakly.

"No, not that," Ruth said firmly, interrupting him. "I need to talk to you in private, and I don't want anyone walking in, okay?"

"About Morgan?"

"Yes," Ruth said as she spread the information on his desk. "He has a daughter."

Ruth went on to explain how ill the girl was and that under the circumstances Morgan was a good father, in spite of his other flaws, like helping a bomb explode over London. "I'm worried," she continued. "I may never have come across this information. The tracks linking her to Morgan were hidden well, but unfortunately I'm better. I can shred it, then burn it and it'll look like I never knew about her."

"You don't trust Adam," Harry stated rather than asked.

"Usually I do," she said. "This is getting to him more than he's telling you. More than he's telling anyone. I'm worried about him. I know what happened to him in the middle east."

"We might have to use this Ruth," Harry said going over the information she'd given him. "We don't know where this is going. What Morgan's planning."

"Please," Ruth said, her voice pleading. "I need you to make sure she won't be hurt. None of this is her fault."

"I'll supervise Adam," Harry said. "I'll do my very best to make sure no harm comes to her. For a man in my position that's the best I can do for you."

Ruth nodded, glad that he'd made a concession. Even if she hadn't been a relationship with him she'd still have pleaded her case. It wasn't fair for a terminally ill girl to suffer for her fathers crimes. "Thank you Harry."

"While I have you here, actually I need to talk to you," he said, feeling that this might be as good a time as any. "You know the DG is stepping down at the end of the year."

"Personal reasons," Ruth said, her lips twitching.

"Yes, that of the fact that the man can't stay faithful and his wife has demanded he leave the job, but that's none of my business."

"How long was he sleeping with his PA?" Ruth asked, genuinely curious.

"Seven years," Harry said. "Stupid man. The PA had no idea he was even married."

"If I find out you're married, you won't be dealing with an angry wife. The only problem you'll be dealing with will be an unplanned castration," Ruth said, smiling sweetly at him.

"You're not an affair," he said firmly. "Anyway," he said, feeling like they'd got somewhat off of the topic in hand. "I've been… invited to interview for the position."

"Oh my God!" Ruth said, very much surprised. Harry was good at his job, and she knew this, but she thought he was too much of a decent man to run MI5 from an office overlooking the entire city. Without getting involved directly in any of the operations. But, that said, he would be brilliant at it. But being in section D without Harry… These thoughts all went through her mind within five seconds of being told the news.

"I don't want the job," he said, correctly reading anxiety and not a little fear in her face.

"You don't?" she asked. "Why not?"

"Because I want to be here, involved. Getting my hands dirty in the thick of it. I don't want to be pacing an office with an incredible view."

"I'm relieved to hear you say that," she said, smiling at him. "I like it with you here. I don't know how I'd cope spending my working days away from you."

"You'd live," he said with a smile. "I have to go to the interview. You don't say no to that, but I'm hoping, with Malcolm's help, I will not be their first choice."

"Don't do too well at the interview then will you?"

"I won't," he said. "And I'll treat the girl carefully."

"Thank you," Ruth said. Recognising that he was busy, she knew she should leave his office. She paused, only when Harry grabbed her hand and squeezed gently, pulling her into a soft loving kiss. His hand drifted through her loose hair, down her back and settled on the base of her spine. The kiss ended and Ruth found herself leaning her head against Harry's chest as he stroked her body calmly. "I need to go," she said, not moving an inch.

"So go," Harry said amused.

"One more kiss," she demanded playfully. He gave in and then let her go, her figure retreating from him, until the closed door hid her from view completely. He sighed when she'd vanished, feeling a small sense of loss. He knew she was less than twenty feet away from him, but he liked having her next to him. Harry reviewed the information Ruth had brought him, debating what to do with it.

* * *

Harry opened the letter with trepidation. The interview for the DG position had gone well. Better than he'd expected, and it was particularly annoying because he didn't want the job. He read the letter while holding his breath, and then he exhaled in relief.

"Good news?" Ruth asked from the doorway.

"I didn't get the job," he said, smiling. "Thank God for that."

"I'm pleased," Ruth said, coming into his office and closing the door. "Its nice to know you'll still be here."

"Hopefully for a few long years yet," Harry said. He squeezed her hand over the desk. "I'm relieved. I didn't want to leave here."

"I like it when you're glaring at the grid from behind your glass office," Ruth teased lightly. "Its reassuring."

"I love you," Harry said. Ruth winked at him, her face happy.

"I'm going home," she said. "I need some sleep, and I think we both know if we share a bed, that won't happen."

"I'll see you tomorrow then," he said gently. Ruth nodded as he kissed her softly.

"I love you too. Bye." Ruth left his office and Harry watched as she shut down her computer and put her coat on. She was so beautiful. He hated sleeping without her, but he did know that she had a point.

* * *

As soon as Ruth opened her front that night, she was met with a hissing cat. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Ruth repeated to Fidget who was running around her ankles, making it difficult to walk. "I know I haven't fed you. I'm sorry." Ruth went into the kitchen and quickly put some food down for him. Fidget meowed once in protest at how long it had taken for his breakfast and then started wolfing it down. Ruth grabbed a large Dairy Milk chocolate bar, switched her phone off, unplugged her land line and got into bed. It had been a long day, and she needed to sleep.

What she hadn't counted on was being woken in an hour later by Harry getting into her bed next to her. "What do you think you're doing?"

"I found myself unable to sleep without you next to me," he said quietly. "Don't worry, just go to sleep."

"Christ Harry, you broke into my house!"

"No I didn't," he said, stroking her back gently, making her soften towards him even when she was determined to be angry. "Thames House had a copy of your key. I borrowed it and disabled the alarm."

"That's a gross invasion of my privacy!" Ruth said indignantly. "Did you reset the alarm?"

"Course I did," Harry replied, amused at the change of tone between those two statements. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No," she said. "How is Morgan's daughter?"

"Fine," Harry said. "I hated that we had to use her like that, but she's not hurt."

"We didn't have a choice did we?" Ruth said, squirming slightly as Harry's hands went to her stomach. His fingers were freezing.

"No we didn't." Harry kissed the back of her neck. "Move in with me."

"Mm…" she murmured as she was drifting back into sleep. Then his words hit her consciousness and she sat up quickly. "What did you just say!"

"I asked you to move in with me," he said, amused at her surprise.

"Why!"

"Because I hate spending any time away from you," he said.

"No, I meant why the hell are you asking me now?! Its one in the morning, I'm exhausted and half asleep, and you ask me out of the blue "Move in with me?""

"Yes I did," he said, biting his lip to hide his anxiety about her answer. "I want to come home to you every night. Not to a cold lonely house."

"You have Scarlet," she said, her heart rate slowing down as the shock was wearing off slightly.

"Not exactly the type of company I crave," Harry said with a raised eyebrow.

"Let me think about it," she said after a moment.

"That means no," he said disappointed.

"No, it means you have to remember who I am," Ruth countered. "I'm a woman who has to think everything through. I have to go through all the possibilities. I'm methodical, you know that. Give me a couple of days. Let me think about it."

"Okay," he agreed, sensing not to push it. "I'll let you think about it. But I do have effective methods of persuasion," he added in a low voice.

"Oh really, like what?" He said nothing, instead both hands roamed across her body and squeezed her nipples tightly. "That's not fair. I'm not going to move in with you because of sexual favours."

"I don't care what the reason is," he said honestly. "If you want to move in with me so you can get your orgasms quicker, be my guest."

"Harry!" She rolled away from him, gathering the duvet tightly around her. "The bloody cheek!"

"I'm only teasing," he said. He planted a kiss on her cheek but she stayed stiff. He worked his way across her face, lips eventually meeting hers. She responded eagerly and let him hold her.

"I'm still going to think about it," she said.

"Take your time," he replied. "I'll wait."

"Now, I'm going to sleep. Despite the fact my personal burglar is now in my bed."

"Mm," Harry said, a smile on his face. "Sleep well."

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews so far, and hope you will be kind enough to leave another one! Thank you! x x x**


	18. Chapter 18

Ruth was surprised as Sam led a new face on the grid to a desk right behind hers.

"Hi," she said blankly at the young and attractive Asian officer.

"Zaf Younis," he said, an easy, Adam like smile on his face.

"Ruth," she said. "Are you staying here?"

"I'll be here for a while," he said. "Testing out the waters away from six."

"Adam did that," Ruth said. "We never got rid of him."

"Hey!" he said, walking by them, making Zaf laugh.

"She's right," Zaf said. "Give you an inch, and you're like superglue. No getting rid of you."

"Oh, I'm so glad I'm valued," Adam said under his breath as he went back to his desk.

"Do you want to go out for a drink tonight?" Zaf asked quickly.

"Er, I don't think that's a good idea," Ruth said firmly.

"Don't want to be seen with the new boy eh?"

"I'm not available," she said, noting that glint in his eye that meant he had more than friendship and behaving simply as work colleagues on his mind.

"Oh?"

"Yes, the man glaring at you from the glass office?" Ruth said. Zaf looked at Harry, and sure enough saw angry dark eyes looking like they had murder on the owners mind. "I think its fair to say that he wouldn't be happy if you took me out for a drink."

"I see that," Zaf said, hiding. "Some bloody bastards have all the luck."

"Thanks for the strange compliment," Ruth said. "I'd start work if I were you."

"Hm. Might be wise. Do try and talk him out of my murder if it comes up?"

"I will," Ruth said lightly, turning back to her computer as an email came through. She wasn't all that surprised to see it was from Harry.

_I need to see you. Now. H x._

Ruth had an extreme suspicion that Zaf's name would come up. But giving Harry the benefit of the doubt for the time being, she locked her computer and opened his door. "What is it?"

"Is that new…"

"Zaf," Ruth supplied helpfully, a smile on her lips.

"Yes, Zaf. Is he eyeing you up?" She looked at Harry for a moment and noticed something strange about him that she never had before. He was breathing heavily and his usual hazel eyes had gone black. He was watching her very possessively, and she knew that any teasing she gave him wouldn't be received in the manner it was intended. Ruth sighed and drew the blinds.

"Harry, I have no desire for any other man but you," she said firmly. She laced her hands behind his neck, fingers going over him softly. "Yes, he asked me out for a drink, but I politely turned him down."

"I'm going to kill him."

"No, you're not," she said. "Why are you jealous? He's a boy."

"I'm not jealous."

"Now you're lying," she said.

"I don't like other men… looking at you in that way," he said. "It makes me very angry."

"You have to trust me Harry. Don't you?"

"I do," he said. "You know I do. I just… it makes me see red."

"I noticed," she said. She reached up and kissed him passionately. "I have you, why would I want someone else?"

"How are you doing with the question of moving in with me?"

"I'm thinking about it," she said honestly. "I really am. Would Scarlet get along with Fidget?"

"God no. Fidget would eat Scarlet for breakfast."

"He's not that bad," Ruth said softly. Harry held out his right hand and Ruth flinched. There was a three inch scar on his index finger. "You did stand on his tail."

"I knew it'd be my fault," Harry said calming down significantly now. Ruth reached for his tie and started fiddling with it sensually. He rested his hands on her hips as she loosened it, and pressed a kiss to the hollow of his throat. "You do that so well," he said. She winked at him, put his tie back into order and then left, smiling. Harry felt his blood pressure lower considerably as Ruth left, but he kept the blinds closed. He didn't need to see Zaf looking at Ruth in that way. He might have a coronary. But Ruth was right. He did trust her. And looking at another man watching Ruth wouldn't change that.

"So, when do I have to be ready for the hit squad?" Zaf asked once Ruth was sat at her desk again.

"He's calmed down, don't worry," Ruth said. "He's not that bad," he added at Zaf's sceptical look.

"Well, I'll be sleeping with a gun under my pillow from now on," he said with wide eyes which made Ruth laugh. She turned back to her emails, a smile on her face.

* * *

**Seven hours later**

"No, no, no." Ruth covered her face with her hands, the gunshot echoing through her mind, as if on a morbid repeat. Danny and Fiona were being held by the hostage takers and it sounded like Danny had just been shot. Ruth was struggling to believe it. This couldn't be happening. There was silence everywhere. They were wired in so they could hear what was happening with Adam, who in turn had Fiona on the phone so they had heard everything in Technicolor detail.

"Ruth, I need you to stay in one piece," Harry said as movement started up again. "We can still save Fiona."

"But… Danny."

"Ruth, there will be time to grieve for him," he said, his eyes filling with unshed tears, that Ruth, as she knew him so well could clearly see. "I promise you there will be time for you to grieve. But lets make sure this doesn't turn into a bigger tragedy than it already is."

Ruth nodded after a moment, knowing that he was right. But it was one of the most difficult things she'd ever done. Putting Danny's death to one side and continuing with her job.

* * *

Harry and Ruth left the grid together that night. In silence. Nothing could be said to fill the gaping void left by Danny's death. Ruth stood in the kitchen, not knowing what to do with herself. Harry felt Danny's loss too, but he knew that Ruth had been close to him. And Harry knew too that Danny was a decent and honourable man who had deserved to live a much longer life than he had. Ruth looked on the verge of tears, so Harry put his arms around her loosely and she cried almost instantly into his shoulder.

"It isn't fair," she sobbed as Harry stroked her hair, trying to comfort her. "What had Danny ever done to deserve a death like that? He should be here!"

"I know," he said quietly. "Believe me I know."

"Poor Danny," Ruth said, as she kept crying into Harry's shoulder. Eventually her tears subsided and she stood up, wiping her face dry.

"I think you should eat something," Harry said.

"I'm not hungry," she replied, rather predictably. "Alright."

"Alright what?" Harry asked confused.

"I'll move in with you," she said.

"No, you're not making this decision now," he said. "You've no idea how much I want to hear that from you, but you shouldn't make this decision when you're so overly upset."

"Overly upset!" Ruth screamed at him. "Danny is dead! Of course I'm upset!"

"I know," he said calmly. "Which is why I'm not going to take your word for it now."

"Oh Danny…" she said, letting her tears fall again.

"I know," Harry said. Neither of them could do anything to make a dent in their grief, except simply being there for each other.

* * *

"Why?" Harry asked that night in bed. Neither of them could sleep so they'd just slipped into silence when they were supposed to be sleeping.

"Why what?"

"Why did you suddenly decide to move in with me? So soon after… Danny."

"Because I don't want to waste time," she said. "Danny and Zoë. Even Tom. All in different ways have been taken from their lives. Its harsh and cruel and completely unnecessary. So, I don't want to waste any time with my concerns, when they don't mean anything at all in the grand scheme of things."

"What concerns?" Harry asked, a hand settling on her waist gently.

"That you'll get sick of me," Ruth said quietly. "We spend all day together at work, sometimes twenty four hours a day. Then going home to the same house? You might get bored of me."

"Ruth, we spend so much of our time together now anyway. We either leave the grid and go to yours or mine, but we're usually together. And when we're not I miss you."

"I miss you too," she admitted. "When we aren't together. I do."

"Good," he said. "What else are you worried about?"

"I don't want to say because if I'm way off of the mark you're going to think I'm insane."

"I won't," he said. "Please tell me."

She sighed but after a moment she did tell him what she was thinking. "I'm scared that the next thing you'll ask me is to marry you."

"Would that be bad?" he asked, forcing to keep his voice level.

"Yes," she said. "Not because I don't love you, because I do. Very much so. But I never wanted to get married. I've had no daydreams about being the beautiful blushing bride in a stupid white dress. I've never wanted to be someone's wife. I like my independence, I don't want to become a mans property."

"We're not in the middle ages Ruth."

"No, I know that," she said, rolling her eyes. "But I do feel like a woman loses her identity when she marries. She becomes… almost an appendage of her husband and I hate that."

"Ruth, I'm not going to lie to you," he said calmly. "I have thought about marrying you. One day. But I'm not going to do anything that'll make you uncomfortable. And I am not going to ask you to marry me until I'm one hundred percent sure that you'll say yes." She seemed uncomfortable with this but he continued. "If we never marry, because you don't want to, that's fine. I promise you. I've done marriage when its wrong, when one or other doesn't want to be trapped in a marriage and I will not do that to you. I love you far too much to hurt you that way Ruth."

"Thank you," she said, knowing that he was sincere from the look in his eyes. "I mean that, thank you."

"But please, do let me know if you ever change your mind."

"I will," she said, smiling slightly. Then she felt guilty for feeling happy when Danny was lying in a morgue. Her second bout of tears came and Harry rocked her gently until her eyes dried.

* * *

**I always thought there was a spark between Zaf and Ruth! Hope I did okay with Danny's demise.**


	19. Juliet Shaw

After Danny's funeral a bomb had exploded in south London by a group called Shining Dawn, who were claiming responsibility, demanding their leader be released. This group had only been operating in America so unfortunately Thames House had no choice but to cooperate with the CIA. The grid was a complete mess as they were taken over by a lot of Americans, and one British woman of note. At least, to Ruth's mind. Juliet Shaw. Harry had clearly known this woman beforehand which had made Ruth… curious. So she'd managed to sneak her file out of registry without anyone noticing. She speed read it until she got to the relevant part. Operation Omega. Ruth had read enough, and then she put it back, her blood boiling. Without saying anything to Harry, she left and went up to the roof, wondering how long it would take for him to notice she wasn't on the grid.

* * *

It took a surprisingly short time. Only twenty minutes until he joined her. "Ruth?" No response. "Its not like you, to avoid your desk when we're this busy."

"I can't get to my desk anyway," she said. "A cheap American, platinum blonde, plastic surgery casualty has stolen it."

"I'll remove her," Harry said firmly. "What is it?"

"I'll say two words, and then you can explain it to me, okay?"

"Fine," he said, still bewildered.

"Juliet Shaw." She looked at him, not letting him escape her gaze for a moment. His eyes were confused for a moment, and then guilt filled them. "I knew it."

"She's nothing to do with you," Harry said.

"You were having an affair with her while you were married," Ruth said, shaking her head. "Why?"

"Because I was young and a complete idiot," Harry said. "How did you know?"

"Why, are you pissed off that I've found out about a previous indiscretion of yours?" Ruth said firmly. Harry stared at her. "Sorry. The way you looked at her. That's all I needed to know. And then I quickly had a look at the file."

"How did I look at her?" Harry asked curiously. He had no desire for Juliet, and he hadn't in years. So he was more than a little interested as to what she'd seen.

"You looked at her like… you were angry. But also it was as if your eyes didn't stop at her clothes. You were seeing more than what she was showing."

"I was not looking at her like that," he said firmly.

"No, not in a lustful way," Ruth said. "And, most definitely not in the way you look at me I'm pleased to say. I mean that you knew what she looked like underneath her clothing." Harry was bewildered by this. "I watched your reaction closely," she said in explanation.

"You must have," he agreed.

"Why did you never tell me about her?"

"Ruth, I'm not proud of the man I used to be," he said. "I have had a lot of indiscretions over the years. With quite a lot of women, and I don't want to hurt you by mentioning women you'll never meet. Plus she's been in Washington for five years, and I didn't exactly expect to meet her again."

"Do you want her?"

"God no," he said, horrified by the thought. "To be honest, I've wanted very few women in the last ten years."

"I'm sorry, very few?" she questioned, eyes glittering with anger.

"Yes," he said. "There was you, and then before I met you someone else. Only briefly."

"Who?"

"Don't be jealous," Harry said.

"I'm not," she lied. Harry knew she was lying, but he didn't call her on it. "Tell me her name."

"Would you feel comfortable talking about your ex's with me, if I was jealous of your previous lovers?"

"No," she admitted begrudgingly. He held her gently and kissed the back of her neck.

"Forgive me, for finding out this way?"

"Are there others?" Harry was silent and Ruth sighed. "Forget I asked," Ruth said. "I'm guessing it would fill a phone book to list your previous conquests."

"Ruth…"

"Sorry," she said. "I just... I don't like thinking of sharing you."

"The feelings mutual," Harry said. "Trust me." He kissed her again. "I need to ask you a favour. Work related."

"Go on."

"I want you to babysit professor Curtis."

"Oh good," Ruth said sarcastically. Harry felt his heart plummet. "So I have to give my station up to that American bitch for a few more hours."

"Afraid so," he said. "I've had Malcolm password protect the really juicy stuff."

"Good," Ruth said. "So I'm going to Oxford?"

"If you don't mind?"

"You wouldn't ask anyone else if they minded, you'd send them there without a thought."

"You're not anyone else Ruth," he said firmly.

"Where's my driver?"

"Waiting for you in the car park. A file with all the background we have on Curtis is on the back seat."

"Kiss me before I go then," she said, a small smile on her face. He did, more than willingly and made it as soft and sensual he could manage. When they broke apart she was smiling. "I'll see you later. We can talk about putting my house on the market."

"Really?" he asked, hope lacing his voice.

"Yeah. I meant what I said. I'm not going back on it."

"Good. Now go." She smiled and left the roof, leaving Harry looking over the city. What he hadn't counted on was being joined in less than a minute by the woman in question. "Juliet, what do you want?" he said heavily.

"I passed your latest conquest on the stairs," Juliet said, amusement in her voice. "God Harry, you never change."

"What do you mean?"

"Still sleeping your way through the security services I see."

"Ruth's not like that, its…" he stopped and gave up because it was pointless trying to explain love to such a vindictive and ruthless woman. "What do you want?"

"Touched a nerve have I?"

"Juliet…"

"I want my security clearance lifted. Adam Carter is telling me what files I can and can't look at."

"Because I told him to," Harry said. "Why do you want clearance?"

"To do my job Harry!" He watched her for a second, amused she'd lost her temper, and she sighed. "Let me have A grade access, matching Adam's surveillance levels. You know me, you know I wouldn't do anything against this country, even if we don't agree on methods. I might start mentioning to your current fling about what we had. Jealousy… it's a powerful emotion Harry."

"She already knows, and don't you dare try to blackmail me Juliet, it won't work." They were both quiet for a moment. "I'll lift your restrictions, but you report directly to Adam Carter. If you don't like it, you know where the door is."

"Thank you," Juliet said. "And she's too young and naïve for you Harry. You need a woman with more about her than that."

"If I wanted your opinion I would ask for it, thank you," Harry said, his eyes like shards of ice. Juliet could tell that she'd overstepped some invisible line so she decided it was probably wise to leave him alone, not wanting him to revoke her access.

* * *

"Thank you," Ruth said a few days later. She put the phone down and was smiling. "Its on the market," Ruth said to Harry happily. "I need to start moving my things over here."

"I can't wait to have you here permanently," he said, the grin on his face showing how eager he was. Ruth smiled back, feeling quite happy. She had moved Fidget in, much to Scarlet's displeasure. But after twenty four hours of ignoring each other they'd suddenly got on very well indeed, much to Ruth's relief. It might be a tad tricky if their pets didn't get on.

"I'm moving in, just slowly," she said. "So, how's the witch?"

"Who?" Harry asked putting today's paper down.

"Juliet." Ruth had put a lot of venom in those three syllables that Harry forced himself to keep a straight face.

"She's been hired by Downing street as national security coordinator," Harry said, knowing she wouldn't like it.

"What?!" Ruth said loudly. "Why?"

"Because in spite of my history with her she is good at her job," Harry said, keeping his voice purposefully light.

"So, you'll have to sit in meetings with her at all hours of the day and night?" Ruth asked, masking the hurt in her voice, just not quite well enough.

"Yes," he said, walking over to her. He wrapped his arms tight around her, not letting her turn from him. "You're jealous." It wasn't a question.

"Yes and I hate it," she said loudly. "I don't want to feel like this."

"I will not touch any other woman but you," he said firmly. "I don't want any other woman except you. I'll keep repeating myself until you believe it."

"I hate thinking of anyone touching you," she said lowly. "It makes me angry and hurt, just thinking it."

"Trust me."

"If she does touch you, please tell me," Ruth said. "I don't want to be caught unawares."

"In the unlikely event of that happening, I promise to tell you," he said. "She's got no designs on me any longer. It was all a big game to her, that's all." Ruth nodded once and then sealed the statement with a kiss. A long lingering I have to have you now type of kiss. Harry pushed her blouse higher, his fingers caressing her waist gently and rising higher.

"Harry…" she breathed into his ear as he began kissing her neck.

"What my love?" he asked as his head dipped south, towards her collarbone.

"Not here," she said. "The bedrooms not that far away."

"I want to have you up against a wall screaming for mercy as I do delicious things to your body," he murmured, making her melt and give in on the spot. She all but ripped her clothes off after the way he purred those words.

"Quickly, please," she said, changing her tune. Harry smirked at her and pushed her right up against the nearest wall. This was just how he wanted her.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed the introduction of Juliet, and massive thank you's to all those who have reviewed so far. Hannah x**


	20. Chapter 20

**I am probably flirting with an M rating here. It gets a bit dark but I had been planning this since the beginning so I hope it works. Here goes...**

* * *

**Two weeks later.**

"Ruth, I'm sending you back to GCHQ," Harry said. Then he caught the look of total betrayal and disappointment on her face. "Temporarily."

"Why?"

"Adam," Harry said calmly, his eyes not leaving Ruth's face.

"Okay, I'll leave it to you to tell her the news shall I?" Adam said, knowing when three people was one too many. He turned and left, all the while Ruth stared at him.

"I need someone inside GCHQ to go undercover on this op and feed Moran information later on. When you're in the field Adam'll be with you, so you'll be safe. I wouldn't let you go otherwise."

"Promise me its temporary," Ruth said.

"Of course it is," he said. "You don't even have to go to Cheltenham for long, we'll give you the information you need. Its in case they check up on you.

"How long?" she asked, her voice quietly angry.

"A week, at most," he said. She glowered at him. "Ruth, I could use a GCHQ agent, but they aren't going to tell Moran what I want him to know. You're the only one who could do it that I trust. I hate it as much as you do."

"I doubt that," Ruth said quietly. "If you starve Fidget to death in my absence I'll kill you."

"You'll go then?" he asked hopefully.

"Harry, you're my boss," she said simply. "You have every right to ask me to do something for an operation. I have the right skills, and past history to make it work. Why wouldn't you ask me? I can't refuse because I personally don't like it. That would be taking advantage of our personal relationship, and I told you before, I'm not doing that. So yes, I'll go. Even if I'm unhappy about being away from you."

"How can you take this so well?" he asked, dropping the face he presented to everyone else at work quickly. "I'm dreading being a week or two without you."

"Or two?" she questioned dangerously.

"Well, it will be a week, probably a little less but it'll feel like longer," he said.

"We're not going to move you down until Adam's settled in. If they don't accept him straight away, your presence will be pointless."

"Let me know when I'm catching the train," she said. "And I'll miss you too."

"Hmm," Harry grumbled.

"Separation is awful, but I hear that its an awful lot of fun when couples have reunion."

"Oh really," he said, raising an eyebrow at her. "Whomever told you that?"

She walked closer to him and started fiddling with his tie. "I expect a warm homecoming," she said, voice low and eyes bright.

"I can guarantee it," he said firmly.

"I tell you what," she whispered into his ear, her breath sending shivers of delight through him. "If you want to treat me to some lingerie, I promise to wear it when I get back."

"My choice?" he asked, already trying to fight the arousal he felt through his system. She said nothing but smiled. "What size?" he asked eagerly.

"Harry, you've done enough research into women to know what size my breasts are, you fondle them often enough." He actually went red at that comment and Ruth laughed. "I'll get my paperwork together."

"Great," Harry said absently, already imagining her in his choice of underwear. He didn't come to his senses until there was a further knock on his office door and Adam came in. "What?"

"Not to interrupt, but it is slightly off putting, watching you droll over Ruth for ten minutes straight."

"Mr Carter, did you have a point? Or would you like to be extradited to the USA?"

"Sorry," Adam said, a grin on his face. "Just dropping these off." Adam put a couple of files on Harry's desk and then left. Harry licked his lips as he shook himself out of his daydream, and wondered if it was going a step too far to look at women's underwear on office time. Yes, he decided. It probably was.

* * *

"Shall I hit him again Adam?"

"Only if you want to," Adam said amused at the sight of shy retiring Ruth holding a tree branch to hit a man twice her size. Ruth seemed to realise what she was doing and dropped the branch feeling an idiot as Adam laughed, not at her but with her. She smiled slightly as he took Moran's phone and called through to the grid with his secure codes.

"Yep. We're fine. Send a team over," Adam said briefly. "She's fine." A pause. Adam held the phone out for Ruth as he looked at the broken man lying on the ground before them. "He wants to speak to you." Ruth took the phone and wasn't surprised to hear Harry calling her name repeatedly.

"Ruth? Are you alright? Ruth, talk to me."

"I will if you give me a second to say anything," Ruth said quickly. "I'm fine. I promise."

"Are you just saying that so I'll stop worrying?" Harry asked, but she could hear the breath of relief he'd given.

"Well, yes of course I am," Ruth said. "It also happens to be true."

"Good. Is there even a scratch on you?"

"A couple, but I'm fine," she said surely. "Stop panicking and send a team to us."

"They're already en route," Harry said. "I just had to hear your voice."

"I am," she said. "I'll be back in London in what? Ninety minutes?" she asked Adam who nodded. "Calm down."

"I love you," he said.

"I love you too. Does Fi want to speak to Adam?" Adam looked up, touched by the concern in Ruth's voice and soon he had the phone passed back to him. Ruth felt it was only fair. If she got to speak to the man she loved, it was only fair Fiona did too.

* * *

"You're never going out in the field ever again," Harry said when Ruth walked through their front door that night. "I've never been that worried."

"This coming from the man who's daughter is in Israel or Palestine, or wherever it is this week."

"And not once have I had to live in the knowledge that she's had a knife held to her throat and taken to be killed by a crossbow by same crazed idiot!"

"Calm down," Ruth said. "Its been a long day and you shouting at me isn't helping." With difficulty he reigned himself in.

"Let me see," he demanded. Ruth sighed and walked into the kitchen where the light was better, then lifted her head. There was a thin knife wound on her neck where Moran and his cronies hadn't cared if they'd killed her and Harry went cold. It looked no deeper than a paper cut, but the knowledge that they could have killed her or tortured her took the breath from him. "Oh God Ruth." He closed his eyes as he felt the tears fall and she looked at him in amazement.

"I'm fine. I told you, I'm fine."

"I know," he said. "But what they could have done to you. They could have… Thank God you're safe." He kissed her hungrily, desperately and urgently, needing reassurance that she was alive but Ruth was stiff in his arms.

"No, not tonight," she said firmly. "You can't kiss me that way tonight."

He drew back and looked in her eyes, wanting a denial about what he was thinking. "Tell me… that didn't happen to you, please."

"What?" she asked confused. She looked in his eyes, the intensity alarming her and then it hit her what he meant. "God, no Harry," she said shaking her head. "No," she repeated. "I just feel very delicate at the moment. Its been a long day and my shoulder is killing me."

"Adam mentioned your affiliation with tree branches," Harry said, trying to banish the thoughts in his mind.

"It was the closest thing to hand," Ruth said in explanation. "I'm never going to live this down am I?"

"I hope not," he said seriously. "Because if you do, that means you're out in the field again."

"I need a good long bath," she said. "Where's Fidget?"

"On your coat," Harry said. "Ever since you left he's been sleeping there, waiting for you to come back."

"Can you run me a bath? I'll be up when I've said hello to my selfish cat."

"Sure," he said. He kissed her again, this time soft, gentle and delicious. She responded eagerly and when he let her go this time she was smiling. "I couldn't bear if… that happened to you," he whispered.

"Lower your blood pressure and run my bath. Please." Harry nodded and retreated upstairs. Ruth found her cat and gave him a quick cuddle. Even Scarlet looked pleased to see her. It was good to be home.

* * *

In bed, Harry couldn't sleep. It felt like a fist of ice was wrapped around his heart, because every time he closed his eyes he could picture Ruth being taken from him. Being tortured and raped, and he couldn't push the images out of his mind. It was killing him. Silently Harry started crying, he couldn't help it. After about twenty minutes Ruth rolled over next to him and put her arm around him. "Don't cry."

"I can't… stop," he said in staggered breaths. She kissed the back of his neck and he let go, crying even harder but she didn't try and stop him. She held him as his tears dried out. "If anyone ever hurts you, you have to tell me."

"I will," she reassured him. "I promise."

"I love you," he said. "With my whole heart."

"I love you," she replied. "In exactly the same way. Try and get some sleep. We've got to be up for work soon."

"Mm, maybe," he said, but her hands were soothing away the tension in his back, gently and carefully. It didn't take too long before sleep took him. When his gentle snoring filled the room, Ruth dropped her hands from his body. Her capture seemed to have effected him worse than herself and she felt so sad for him. She ran her hand through his soft curls and then turned over herself, intent on finding some sleep.

* * *

The dynamics of their relationship seemed to have shifted somewhat and Harry wondered where the seriousness had crept in from. Over the next week Ruth seemed more distant than ever before and Harry was worried. He hadn't spoken to her about it, afraid that she was going to lock herself away even further. So he was distracting himself by watching the cricket on Saturday morning, England v Pakistan, day three of the test match. Of course Ruth chose this moment to talk to him.

"Harry?"

"Yes?"

"I need to talk to you." Harry switched the TV off, ignoring the fact that Flintoff was currently on for a hat trick.

"Just tell me… whatever it is." She didn't speak "Are you leaving me?"

"No, God no," she said quickly, a forced smile on her face. "I need to confide in you. Its something that happened a very long time ago. But over the past week or so, I know I need to tell you."

"I'm listening," he said instantly worried.

"I don't even know where to start," she said to herself. "You thought that when I came home, that I'd been raped."

He nodded in agreement, fear filling him. "Tell me you didn't lie to me," he begged.

"No," she said shaking her head. "I didn't. Of course I didn't. But since that, I've known that I have to tell you, that I was. A long time ago. I was raped." She'd closed her eyes when she said that and Harry simply stared at her. The words incomprehensible to him. Then, bit by bit realisation crept in, and the full force of her statement hit him.

"Oh God," he breathed. Ruth felt quite startled because his breathing suddenly went heavy, he closed his eyes and went slack.

"Hey, don't faint on me," she said quietly.

"Why, on God's earth why, have you never told me that?" he said forcefully.

"I didn't want you to know," she said honestly. "I didn't want you to think of that when we're in bed together. Ever. I'm only telling you now because I can't get it out of my head. After… what you thought had happened to me."

"Who?" he said, jumping to the next thing burning on his mind. "Who hurt you? I'll rip his head off."

"Too late for that," Ruth said. "He's dead."

"Lucky bastard," Harry said under his breath. "He'd have been praying for death by the time I'd finished with him."

"Harry," she said, covering his hand with hers. "Calm down."

"How can you be talking about this so calmly?" he asked, completely bewildered.

"I've had a long time to get used to it," she said. "It was my step brother. I was only sixteen at the time."

"Ruth, that's… horrific," he said, his voice hoarse.

"It was," she said. She reached for his hand and squeezed gently. He ran his thumb over her knuckles but said nothing. "I don't know what's written in my file about it, but I daresay there's something. Which is why I didn't want you to read it when I first met you. I didn't know you the way I do now. I didn't want you to know Harry. I didn't want it to change the way we are together in any way. Especially in bed."

"How can you ever trust anyone ever again?" he asked and she knew he was on the verge of tears.

"I don't trust easily," she said, agreeing with him. "People have to earn it."

"Ruth… I'd never have slept with you so quickly had I known," he said, feeling like he needed to justify his actions.

"I know that," she said. "And it would have been an awful shame. I'd have hated to miss that."

She smiled, but he didn't. "How could you… I mean… sex…"

"You're stuttering," she said calmly. "How could I enjoy sex after that? Is that what you're asking me?"

"Yes," he said, ashamed he was asking but he had to know. If she didn't get any enjoyment out of it, he could live without it. It was Ruth, she was the one thing he couldn't live without.

"I don't want to make you jealous," she said, biting her lip slightly.

"Now you have to tell me," he said firmly. She smiled a little bit.

"I met someone at university," she said. "I told him what had happened to me and he said he'd wait for me. He did, but when it finally happened I was still absolutely terrified. He was gentle with me and helped me to relax and I found myself incredibly surprised because it was good. I had been expecting it to feel anything but that. Without going into graphic detail, that's essentially the answer to your question."

"You're right, that did make me jealous," he said, a hint of a growl in his voice. She smiled slightly, but didn't regret telling him. Not yet, anyway.

"Don't let this change how you treat me," Ruth said. "Please. I'm only telling you now, because after what you said… it wouldn't leave me alone." Harry didn't speak.

"Tell me what you're thinking," she said. "I need to know."

"All I want to do is protect you," he said. "From anything and everything. And something this… horrendous happened to you before I knew you. There is nothing I can do about it. I feel awful." He swallowed past the lump in his throat and caught her eyes.

"I'm fine. Now. At the time I wanted to curl up in a ball and die, but I am fine. No one believed me. Those last two years at school were hell. No one believed me, because Peter was popular, and I wasn't. So the gossips at school made it sound like… I'd tried to seduce him. It was awful. I tried to ignore it and I threw myself into my work and I was lucky enough to get into Oxford. To get away from it all."

"That's why… gossip really hurts you," Harry said slowly as realisation dawned in him. "When it came out at work about our relationship. That's why you ran for the hills."

"Yes," she agreed sadly. "I can't bear it. To be talked about like that. I'm sorry for the way I reacted. None of it was your fault." Harry didn't say anything and the silence rolled out between them. Eventually Harry spoke.

"God Ruth…" he whispered. "Thank you."

"For what?" she asked confused.

"For telling me," he said. "I can see from your face that wasn't easy."

"No it wasn't," she agreed. "I'm going to make some breakfast. Do you want anything?"

"No," he said. "Yes. Come here." She smiled, knowing what he was doing and wrapped her arms around his neck. She took the lead, knowing he was wary and nervous. She pressed her lips to his and he responded gently. The kiss was light but it wasn't brief. It was slow and measured in its intensity. When he drew away he found Ruth smiling.

"I'll make you a mug of tea," she said quietly. Harry nodded as she left and he turned the cricket back on. But he wasn't really watching it. In his mind he was watching Ruth being forced to have sex with someone she'd said no to. It was a horrible torturous image.

* * *

A week later Ruth had had enough. Harry had barely touched her and it was exactly this reason that made her keep this secret to herself. It was Saturday morning and he had got out of bed and kissed her hair as softly as a whisper before she heard the shower running. She decided to make her move and quickly stripped out of her PJ's and underwear and went into the bathroom. There was so much steam in there that Harry wouldn't see her yet. She smiled to herself and opened the shower door. His back was to her so she stepped in and tightened her arms around his waist before he realised she was there. He dropped the soap in surprise. "God Ruth! Are you trying to scare me into a heart attack?"

"No," she said firmly, not letting him turn around. "I'm trying to jolt you into touching me." She kissed his back for a moment before he turned around. His body was wet and clean and she bit her lip, holding back her desire as her eyes roamed his chest. He saw the look on her face and knew she needed this. "I need to have a physical relationship with you Harry."

"If its too much for you, say no," he said firmly.

"Harry, you have never once touched me when your advances haven't been welcomed whole heartedly by me," she said. "I promise you that."

He nodded and then picked the soap up from the shower floor. He gently lathered it over her breasts, pushing her up against the wall. She smiled at the way he touched her. This was right, this is how it should be. He made love to her achingly slowly, every touch and kiss magnified in its importance. When he reached past her to turn the shower off they were both shivering, from more than cold. He wrapped her in a towel and she was smiling lazily at him before they went back to bed.

* * *

**I will up the rating of this fic if people think its necessary. I'd love a review, thank you.**


	21. Chapter 21

At work they spent the next two weeks setting up for Adam to follow an illegal immigrant trail from Turkey to the UK. It seemed that Muhammad Yazd ,the founder of an AQ splinter group was going to use this network to get into the UK. Adam was going to follow him. It was dangerous, risky but Adam was determined. The trail was being sponsored by a Middle Eastern prince, which meant that it started to get political. Which meant Ruth had to deal with Juliet's presence on the grid, much to her chagrin.

Adam had been on the truck for two hours by the time Ruth felt she needed a break from the witch breathing down her neck all bloody day. She went up to the roof for some fresh air. The truck wouldn't be stopping for another hour, and Zaf was following it too, which meant she wouldn't be missed for ten minutes or so. What shocked her was the speed that Harry came up to the roof after her. She'd barely looked over the sky line and he was next to her.

"Are you alright?"

"I don't like that woman," she said forcefully. "I hate that she's here."

"No, I meant…"

"I know what you meant," she said, her eyes blazing angrily. "Please don't make me regret confiding in you."

"Juliet won't be here long," Harry said, moving to slightly safer ground. "Its just until Adam comes back to the UK."

"I know," Ruth said. "It doesn't mean I have to enjoy her presence here."

"I'm sure you don't," he said. He wrapped her in his arms and kissed her neck gently. She smiled at the touch and then became distracted as her phone rang. Harry kept his arms around her as she fished in her pocket and got the phone out.

"Yes?" Ruth said quickly. He could tell that the conversation was serious because her body went stiff. "No, that's fantastic," Ruth said quickly. "Absolutely. Yes, I'll be down there to sign tonight. Thank you very much. Goodbye." Ruth stood stock still as she absorbed the information.

"Ruth?"

"Someone wants to buy my house," she said, smiling widely at him as she turned around. "In a weeks time, if all goes well, I'll have the money in my account. Wow."

"That's brilliant," Harry said sincerely. "I get to wake up next to you everyday from now on."

"You've been doing that anyway," Ruth said tartly. "I guess I really do live with you now." She smiled and looked so happy that Harry couldn't help but kiss her deeply and passionately. His hands started going under the heavy fabric of her coat and underneath her blouse, cold fingers teasing her warm flesh. Ruth was thrilled. This was the first time that he had initiated any sort of contact between them in weeks. His right hand went higher and squeezed her breast gently when they were interrupted. The door to the roof banged open and Harry didn't let her go, but he did move his hands to a much more respectable position. He turned and saw Malcolm, much to his surprise.

"What is it?"

"Zaf's about to call in and Juliet wants you back on the grid," Malcolm said calmly. "I thought it best that I find you rather than her."

"Very wise," Ruth said under her breath making Harry chuckle.

"We'll be right down," he said to Malcolm. The techie turned and went back down as Harry planted a lingering kiss to Ruth's lips. "We'll continue this later. At home."

"Mm," she said. "I look forward to it." Still with that slightly wicked smile on her face, she led the way back to the grid, leaving Harry slightly stunned and wishing the day would pass exceedingly quickly.

* * *

Ruth came in last that night. She'd been down to the estate agents who had required her signatures on several documents. Harry had sat down on the sofa and was enjoying his whisky, a smile on his face when Ruth came in. "Why do you look so happy?" Ruth asked, sitting next to him. "We had a foreign prince assassinated on our soil."

"Because none of it was my fault," he said taking a fortifying sip of whisky. "It was all Juliet's who will be facing some very awkward questions at Downing street right now."

"You're crowing," Ruth said, smiling. "A man died and you're crowing."

"Well, that was regrettable," Harry said. "I wouldn't have wished him dead at all, but I am exceedingly glad Juliet's getting the blame."

"Will she resign?" Ruth asked .

"No." Harry said firmly. Ruth frowned at him. "I told her not to. I said that whatever happens neither one of us should ever resign. Next time it might be my job on the line. It'd be nice to have her in my corner if it came down to it."

"Hm," Ruth said.

"That was a loaded Hm," Harry said.

"Why?" Ruth asked, leaning against his body on the sofa as his arm draped over her. "She caused a member of a royal family to be murdered. Let her resign."

"She has the best interests for the country," Harry said. "In spite of the fact that I disagree with her, she's British to the core. And I think it would be very unlikely that she could be bought either. Better the devil you know. God knows who could fill her post if she does leave."

"That's true," Ruth said. "It might be another woman you had an affair with."

"Ruth…"

"I'm just bitter and pissed off that I have to see her most days at work," Ruth said shaking her head. "You should ignore me."

"How did it go at the estate agents?" Harry asked, changing the subject.

"I no longer own my house," Ruth said smiling.

"That's great," he said holding her tight. "You have to put up with me now."

"I think I can manage that," Ruth said with a smile. Harry quickly put his whisky down, and then pushed her into the sofa cushions, lying on top of her. He kissed her deeply and felt her sigh happily into the embrace. "I love you."

"Mm," he said, kissing her neck as his hands went to her blouse buttons. "I love you too."

* * *

**6 months later**

Ruth stood up and watched in horror as Harry was guarded as he forcibly left the grid. Once the pods whirred shut around him and he was out of sight the silence was oppressive. Until Juliet's heels clicked on the floor and everyone turned to look at her. Ruth felt a level of loathing towards her which she never had before. "He's not allowed contact with anyone from this section until his suspension is over. One way or another."

"We live in the same house," Ruth said bluntly. Juliet stared at her and for the first time Ruth appreciated that this woman didn't like her, just as much as she hated Juliet.

"Not this week you don't," Juliet said harshly. "He's in a safe house."

"That's not fair," Adam said, quickly coming to Ruth's defence. "You can't just kick him out of his house."

"Its done," Juliet said quickly. "Meeting room in five minutes." Ruth knew that everyone was looking at her but she ignored them. She sat at her desk and started venting her frustration out on her keyboard instead. Soon enough the noise levels kicked up and everyone went back to work, collecting files to try and come up with a solid plan to find Lewis Khurvin.

* * *

Ruth opened her front door feeling so alone. She'd so rarely been here without Harry and it felt wrong and lonely. She'd only gone ten hours without him and she missed him already. She leaned against the door, needing a few minutes to gather her courage and face an empty house. Before she could even move there was a knock on her door. Opening it she saw Zaf briefly. Before she could say anything, he handed her a small parcel and then left without saying a word, just with a brief smile on his face. Ruth closed the door quickly, so that anyone watching her wouldn't see (and she knew she had people on her. She'd been a spook for too long not to notice). She went through to the kitchen and opened it. There was a letter and a mobile phone. She turned to the letter first

_Ruth,_  
_You will be being watched, so be careful. I'm guessing you already know that. After all, you are brilliant. The phone is untraceable and it connects to one I have. Thank Zaf for being our delivery boy. As long as the alarm hasn't been tripped, they won't have planted bugs in the house, so we should be okay to talk. I can't wait to hear from you. Sorry I left so abruptly. I didn't think they'd actually kick me out. Find Khurvin. He's the solution to this mess, I can feel it. Look after Scarlet for me. Hope to speak to you soon. Love you, Harry._

Ruth got the phone out of its box and put the fresh SIM card into the phone. Then she took it upstairs and went into the bathroom. She ran the taps, just in case a bug had been planted to cover the noise of the call, and dialled through to the pre-programmed number. It only rang once and he picked up. "Hold on." She heard something which sounded like a door being locked and then the same trick she was using, running a shower. "How are you?"

"How are you?" Ruth asked. That was the most important thing. After all, he was the one who'd been kicked out of his office and his home all in one day.

"I'm okay," he said. "Really. I'm pissed off more than anything else. How dare they march me from my office for one bad judgement call."

Ruth smiled as this was the Harry she was used to. "The CIA have sent over some photos. They are very angry."

"Photo's of what?" Harry asked.

"Khurvin at a fist of Islam training camp," Ruth said. "From the two week gap we knew about. I don't believe for a second they're genuine but Malcolm's had a look at them, and he's convinced."

"You don't want to believe they're genuine," Harry corrected. "You're so loyal to me Ruth, I don't know if I deserve you."

"No you don't," she said firmly. "I could tell that the instant I met you." Harry laughed and it was so good to hear. "Are you okay?"

"Yes," he said. "I miss you and I really want to go to bed with you next to me, but yes I am okay."

"We're working on it," Ruth said. "Its bloody cruel to keep us apart like this."

"I know," Harry said. "I hate it just as much as you do." Silence bloomed across the phone line interrupted only by the cascading water on both ends. "Ruth, I love you. Whatever happens."

"What happens, is we sort out the mess and you get reinstated," Ruth said firmly.

"Will you love me if I lose my job?" he asked, needing an honest answer to the question.

"You're not going to."

"Ruth, please answer the question," Harry said in a low voice.

"Harry, I don't love you because you're head of section D. I don't love you because you work at MI5. I love you because of the man you are. Your job isn't who you are. Although I do like working with you."

"Thank you," he said sincerely. "I needed to hear that."

"You're welcome," she said. Then she lost her concentration because there was a whining and scratching at the bathroom door.

"Have you been ignoring my dog?" Harry asked, a smile in his voice.

"Yes," Ruth said. "I'll go and walk her now."

"Bye."

"Talk to you tomorrow night," Ruth promised. She knew Harry was nodding, even without seeing him.

"Bye." Ruth disconnected the call, removed the SIM and the battery before turning the taps off and opening the door to see a very eager dog. "Come on then girl," Ruth said, determined to distract herself from Harry's possible demise.

* * *

"Oh for Gods sake Juliet, have a heart!" Adam shouted at her. She was seated behind Harry's desk and Ruth wasn't the only one who hated this turn of events. "I went to see if he was okay. After thirty years of service to be unceremoniously booted out after one mistake! Its hardly fair."

"You're in line for his job you know," Juliet said with a raised eyebrow. "Be careful."

"You think I'd take his job out from under him do you?" Adam questioned.

"It's a promotion Adam. You should be pleased. Unless you're concerned about the reaction of the wide eyed naïve analyst out there."

"Don't talk about Ruth that way."

"What is it that this woman seems to have over everyone?" Juliet asked, genuinely confused. "She seems to command loyalty, respect and everyone seems to like her even though she's such a mouse."

"She's a decent person, although I do understand if the concept is a foreign one to you."

"Adam, I realise that since the loss of your wife…"

"Don't talk about Fiona," Adam said harshly.

"Shall we just concentrate on Khurvin?"

"Lets," Adam said, his eyes on fire. He left Harry's office (it would always be Harry's office no matter who sat in it) and almost literally bumped into Ruth. "I can't stand that woman."

"Me neither," she said. "What did she say?"

"She offered me Harry's job," Adam said before thinking of his audience. "Don't worry, he'll be back here soon."

"You could take it," Ruth said quietly. "If he doesn't come back. You'd be a good substitute."

"Thanks Ruth," he said with a smile. "That means a lot coming from you." She smiled tightly. "I have a break in to plan."

"You do," she agreed. She sat behind her desk and started monitoring surveillance, her heart heavy.

* * *

Harry had been swiftly reinstated once it became clear that the CIA were in it up to their necks. It had become clear that the fault wasn't Harry's. So Ruth rushed home, as fast as she could, wishing the taxi would hurry up. She'd been taking public transport to work, as Harry usually drove her in. As it rounded the corner to her house she smiled. The lights were on. Harry was home. Either that or a rather stupid burglar. Ruth doubled the fare and handed the money over, hurrying inside. She'd barely shut the door and Harry had pounced on her kissing her deeply and fantastically.

"God Harry," she breathed when she could drag air back into her lungs again. "I've missed you terribly."

"I know," he growled in response, his hands sliding under her skirt, squeezing her thighs. "You're wearing stockings," he whispered as his hand suddenly found bare flesh, biting her earlobe.

"Mm," she said with a grin. "I heard you'd been forgiven so I went shopping. I wanted a memorable evening."

"Mm," he purred in her ear. "I need to see you. Now."

"Do you think we can make it upstairs or not?" she breathed.

"No," he said as he licked her neck. "I can't wait." she smiled, because the honest answer was she couldn't either.

* * *

Half an hour later Ruth found herself lying on the floor in the lounge. Harry reached for a blanket on the back of the sofa and draped it over them. "In case it wasn't clear by that greeting, I'm pleased to see you," Ruth said with a smile.

"I gathered that," Harry said stroking her gently. "I'm glad I'm home."

"So am I. And I'm glad you'll be back in your office soon. I hated seeing the witch there."

"Well she's been sent back to where she belongs. An office in Whitehall."

"Mm," Ruth agreed. Her hands started wandering and for the moment, they both forgot about talking. Other things were more important.

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews. Series 5 is fast approaching...**


	22. 4-10

**One month on**

"Let me confront her, I can get her to surrender to us," Adam said

"No you can't," Harry said. Then his eyes turned to Ruth. "You can."

"No, Harry you can't be serious," she said.

"Ruth, with your history with her, you can get her to give the bomb trigger over."

"Harry, you cannot ask me to do this," she said close to tears. He stood up and walked closer to her.

"You could tell her something couldn't you? About your stepbrother." Ruth glared at him, wanting to hit him. "Adam. Leave," Harry demanded. Adam didn't wait to be told twice. As soon as he closed the door the anguish on Harry's face became clear and she knew just from looking at him that he'd been hiding his emotions. He put an arm around her waist, his other hand cupping her cheek lightly.

"God Ruth, do you think I like this?" he asked. "I hate having to ask you to do this. Hate it. But I don't want her to blow us up either. It's the only thing I can think of."

"You want me to go in there and tell her I seduced a man who assaulted me when I was just sixteen years old!" Ruth shouted.

"Want you to?" he said. "No I don't. I want you to live through this day. I want you to have a long happy life, and if the side effect is that you hate me for doing this… well, I'll learn to live with it."

"I hate you," she said, bursting into tears. He stroked her back, his heart breaking as she poured her heart out. "I can't do it."

"You're the strongest woman I've ever known," he whispered into her hair. "You may hate doing it, but I know that you can." She drew back from him.

"Take your hands off of me," she said in a horribly hushed voice. He dropped his touch from her as she glared at him and wiped her tears away. "I've got no choice have I?"

"I'm so sorry. I hate myself for what I'm asking you to do but I see no other way out."

"I'm going to the ladies," she said. "If I have to do this, crying and falling apart isn't going to help sell it. I need to… plan what lies I'm going to tell."

"I'm so sorry."

"Shut up Harry. This isn't your life you're playing with."

"She has enough explosives to blow up the entire building," Harry said, reminding her of the facts they already knew. "I want you alive. I love you too much to be able to be the cause of your death. So, yes. I suppose I am playing with your life. I'm sorry."

"I don't want to talk to you." Ruth stormed from his office and went into the bathroom, hoping that she'd be able to pull herself together. As much as she hated to admit it to herself, Harry had a point. Angela Wells had history with her. They knew each other and she might actually be believed. And she didn't want to die either. She dried her eyes and reapplied her make up. In her mind she was rehearsing what she would say. Because one thing was guaranteed. If Angela didn't believe her, they would all die.

* * *

Ruth went into Harry's office, with the trigger for the bomb. "Satisfied?" she said in a snide voice he had never heard from her before.

"What happened?" Harry asked, very concerned over Ruth's wellbeing.

"I lied. I told her I was having an affair with my stepbrother when I was little more than a child. I feel… disgusting and like a liar. I never want to talk to you ever again." Harry said nothing but let her walk out of his office. He knew she was tired and incredibly upset and that she probably didn't mean what she was saying. But he felt very guilty and lonely. Which was probably justified, the rational part of him thought with hatred.

* * *

Ruth walked over to Jo's desk where she was talking with Zaf. "I'm sorry to be an awful inconvenience… but can I sleep on your sofa tonight?"

"Yeah sure," Zaf said after a moments stunned silence.

"It'll only be one night," she said.

"Stay as long as you need," Jo repeated, an uncomfortable smile on her face.

"Thank you, I appreciate it," she said. When she went back to her own desk Zaf and Jo looked at each other in silence for a moment.

"I should tell Harry," Zaf said.

"Clearly she wants a night away from him," Jo said as if he was thick.

"Yes, I realise that," Zaf replied. "But I don't want to be raided at two in the morning because my boss is looking for his wife."

"They're not married," Jo said quietly.

"As good as. So I'm going to tell him."

"Good luck in the lions den," Jo said with raised eyebrows. Zaf felt more than a smidgen of trepidation as he knocked on Harry's office door. Jo's analogy of walking into the lions den was quite appropriate.

"What is it Zaf?" Harry said with heavy heart.

"I thought you'd want to know… Ruth will be staying on our sofa tonight. I'm sorry Harry, but she asked."

"Tell her its not necessary," Harry said lowly. "If she wants to get away from me, fine. She can stay in a hotel. I'll pay for it."

"Harry I don't think that's the issue," Zaf said quietly. "And I'm not telling her anything. I'm not passing along messages to her, we're not in high school. If you want to tell her, talk to her yourself."

"I will, thank you Zaf," he said, eyes flickering dangerously. Zaf took this as his exit strategy, but before he could get the door open Harry spoke. "Is she still here?"

"On the roof." Zaf left without a further word. Harry decided that for once he'd take the younger mans advice. He locked his office and went up to the roof.

* * *

"I knew this was a mistake," Ruth said as Harry stood next to her. "I knew you'd find me here."

"Maybe that's why you came up here," Harry suggested quietly.

"I can't do this," Ruth said moving to leave. Harry gripped her arm tightly.

"Look, if you don't want to come home with me, that's fine," Harry said, still holding her tightly. "But don't impose on Zaf and Jo. Go to a hotel, I'll pay for it."

"Harry…"

"Please Ruth," he said quietly. "Don't bring others in on this."

"Let go of my arm," she demanded. He hadn't realised how tightly he was holding her so he let her go and felt guilty all over again. "Fine, I'll go to a hotel," she said, rubbing her arm slightly.

"Thank you," he said. He rummaged in his pocket and gave her his credit card. "I insist," he said when she was hesitant about taking it. Ruth nodded and took it, their fingers brushing as it passed hands.

"God Harry, I don't know what to do!" she said under her breath. She leaned on the wall overlooking the city and bent over, crying into her arms. "Oh Harry…"

"I think you should take some time to think," Harry said quietly. "I asked you to do an awful thing today. I don't know when or even if you could ever forgive me. But I'd like you to try anyway."

"I just feel so rotten," she said. "I feel dirty and awful and sick for the things I said."

"Nothing I say will help that," Harry said sadly. "Go to The Savoy. Ask for Tony Robbins and give him the code word Apollo. He'll give you the best suite there."

"What've you got over on him?" Ruth asked curiously.

"It doesn't matter," Harry said with half a smile. "I want you comfortable. Even if you're away from me. Call me if you need anything."

"I want to forgive you," she said quietly. "I know, logically we both did what was needed. But I feel…" she couldn't even word it so she shook her head.

"I'll be waiting for you," Harry said. "As long as it takes." They were his parting words before leaving her alone on the rooftop, taking in the darkening London skyline. It took a long time for her to gather her courage and leave, getting a taxi to a hotel. Not what she'd planned for at the beginning of the day.


	23. Chapter 23

Ruth had to admit, that once she'd had a long bubble bath to relax and wash the day away, and got into a king size bed between the silk sheets that she was feeling better, and much less drained. She surprised herself by slipping into a dreamless sleep very quickly indeed.

When she awoke she felt happy. Then she reached across for Harry and felt her stomach drop. Because he wasn't here. Instead of sleeping in her own bed she was in one of the nicest hotel suites in London. Bigger than any house she'd ever lived in. But it didn't have the one thing she wanted. Harry. She looked at the clock and saw it was only five in the morning. Even though she felt well rested, she could still sleep for a few more hours. But she didn't want to. Not alone. In the cold light of day, once her emotions had settled down, she knew Harry was right. It may well have been the only thing to get them out of trouble. Malcolm had looked at the bomb once Angela had been taken into police custody, and it was genuine. The whole building could have gone up in one huge bomb blast. She knew Harry wasn't to blame, and her heart was telling her that too.

Ruth got up and washed her face, quickly getting dressed. She needed to go home.

* * *

Ruth went upstairs, hoping to find Harry sleeping. Quietly she opened their bedroom door and found Harry in bed. She felt incredibly soft and sad towards him when she saw the bottle of whisky (nearly empty) and glass on the bedside table. She took her jacket and shoes off, quickly followed by her clothes, folding them carefully before getting into bed next to him. As soon as the mattress dipped under her weight Harry rolled over to her and put an unconscious hand on her waist. He nuzzled into her neck, and Ruth was surprised to see that he was still asleep.

"…mm my Ruth…" she smiled and stroked his back lightly. He'd come to soon enough. It was nearly six anyway, and Harry never slept past seven, a remnant from his army training all those years before. Ruth didn't have any desire or need to sleep any further, so she kept stroking him as he slowly came out of his dreams.

"Ruth?" he asked blearily, eyes blinking in the darkness, trying to remove the sleep from them. "Are you really here?" His voice was hoarse with sleep and Ruth loved him more than ever before in that moment.

"Yes I am," she said quietly.

"Why?" he asked, tightening his grip on her waist subconsciously. He wanted her never to leave.

"I woke up in a beautiful hotel suite," Ruth said. "With everything I could ever want. Except you. So I came home."

"Are you angry with me?"

"Yes," she said. "But not more so than usual. I didn't want to die either Harry."

"I'm sorry."

"I know," Ruth said. "All I wanted was to have you hold me. Even when I'm angry with you."

"Will you… get over it?" he asked.

"I'll calm down soon," she said. "I don't want to hold onto things that hurt me. A good nights sleep seems to have worked wonders on my bad mood."

"Good," he said. "Can I kiss you?" Ruth didn't answer, instead she moved towards him, entwining her legs with his and pressed her lips to his. He responded eagerly, never wanting to lose her. The thought of her leaving him was torturous to him. So he put his heart and soul into that one kiss. And Ruth could tell.

"I'm not going anywhere," she said quietly.

"Good," he replied quietly. "I don't want to live my life without you."

"You won't have to," she said. "Come here." He did and they were late into work. They spent a quiet gentle morning together, apologising and slowly making up.

* * *

**Thank you for the reviews. I didn't want Angela to shoot anyone, I always found that a little unnecessary in the show, so I left the episode as is. **


	24. Chapter 24

Time passed and Harry and Ruth settled back into their routine. Angela Wells and her destruction to their relationship was never mentioned between them, much to both of their private relief. Neither wanted to relive those fraught days. The only slight reference to it, was a week after the incident when Harry bought her a bouquet of perfect white roses. They were incredibly beautiful and did a good job of making her heart melt. She thawed to him completely and that was the night that she first slept with him again, needing the physical connection between them once more.

One night in June, Ruth went up to their bed. Harry had his laptop open on his lap and was wearing a pair of glasses which Ruth thought made him quite attractive. He refused to wear them in public, and he usually refused to bring work home with him, but the Havensworth summit was taking up all of their time and he had no choice. So for the first time Ruth could remember he was actually working while home. "I'm coming?" she asked perched on the edge of the bed.

"I need you there," he said in his grid voice. "I know you'd prefer to be home, and I'm sorry. You're too good at your job to stay home."

"I knew you'd say that," she replied, getting under the duvet with a sigh. "As long as you find someone to look after the pets."

"Catherine's home," he said. "She doesn't mind."

"Oh right," Ruth said remembering her first meeting with Harry's daughter. It hadn't gone badly but Catherine hadn't exactly warmed to her either. Maybe it was because their ages were too similar. Whatever the reason, as long as Catherine didn't display outright hatred, then Ruth felt that was at least a semi success.

"She does like you," Harry said correctly interpreting Ruth's silence. "Its just… I don't have the greatest history with women, so she's holding back a bit. I bet she'll love Fidget, she was begging for a cat when she was younger."

"You wouldn't let your daughter have a pet?" Ruth questioned.

"One pet, yes," Harry said. "She had four guinea pigs and wanted a cat as well. That I said no to."

"Meanie," she said, a teasing note in her voice. "So, how long are we going to be at Havensworth?"

"Four days," Harry said. "Provided all goes smoothly."

"So a week," Ruth countered. "We're bound to find some problems, we always do."

"Four days," he repeated firmly, not wanting to be away from home for any longer.

"We're sharing a room aren't we?" Ruth asked as the thought occurred to her.

"It seems slightly unfair as Ros, Zaf and Adam are undercover and have to keep their legends for the entire time we're there, but as we're on the logistical side of things, yes." Harry said smiling at her. "I don't think I could go four nights without you warming my bed."

"Three," Ruth corrected. "Four days, three nights," she said, her lips twitching.

"Even so," he said. "I still want you next to me."

"Good," Ruth said. "A slight concession for us not being in our own bed, but I am not going to have sex with you while we're there."

"Why not?" he asked, flabbergasted. Even with her past, Ruth was usually very keen for sex, and enjoyed it when they were together.

"Because with all the different nations representatives, there will be so many bugs and listening devices in that building that we'll never find them all. I am not having some random Russian listening to us having sex, okay?" Harry inclined his head slightly. "Not to mention what our co workers would think if they overheard us. I'd never be able to look Adam or Zaf in the face ever again!"

"You think too much about other people," Harry said, pausing on the computer to stroke her hair and kiss behind her neck.

"Even so, I'm not going to do it."

"We'll see," Harry said. "I think you remember that I can be… persuasive in that particular respect."

"Mm," Ruth said to herself, purposefully not indulging in the conversation. It would only make her resolve weaken. "Anyway, have you finished for the night? There's only so much we can do before we get there."

"Yeah," he agreed, taking his glasses off and closing the computer. "I think I have. Just looking to see if there was any information on Myers probable sentence. Nothing yet."

"Ros is going to be devastated," Ruth said accurately. "I know I would have been."

"Do you miss your father?" Harry asked quietly, switching the light off and rolling close to her.

"I do," she said. "I miss him a lot. Its hard, knowing that he'll never know all the good things I've done. Or will do. He never even saw me as a teenager. It feels a little like we were both robbed. But worrying about it and always thinking about what he missed doesn't change anything. He'll still be gone. But yes. I do miss him."

"I'm sorry your father died when you were so young," Harry said sincerely. "It isn't fair."

"Neither is life," Ruth said. "But I don't try and jump off of a building to escape that either do I?"

"Don't try that," Harry said firmly, even though she had been teasing. "I can't live without you. I don't want to have to try."

"Harry, if something did happen to me…"

"Nothing will," he said forcefully, his voice growling at her.

"Well, my father didn't plan to walk into oncoming traffic either," Ruth said pointedly. "If I do die, I don't want you to spend the rest of your life pinning for me. That would be… two lives wasted."

"Ruth, going on without you would be… almost impossibly hard. I can't even imagine it."

"It probably won't happen," Ruth said. "But just in case."

"I promise I won't kill myself," he said lowly. "And that I'd try to carry on. Because its clearly what you want."

"Thank you," she said, a sad smile on her face. "When are we leaving for Havensworth?" she asked bringing the subject onto a much saner topic.

"Day after tomorrow," Harry said. "Early in the morning. We need to be there when the delegates arrive."

"Okay," Ruth said, settling into the pillows and pulling the duvet tight around her.

"Night."

"Goodnight." He kissed her cheek and then, pushing horrifying images of Ruth's death aside, he settled down to sleep himself. With the coming week he'd probably need it.

* * *

Ruth was working behind the scenes in a room that had been designated for MI5's use. It was a hard couple of days, but she really felt like she was making a difference. It was late at night and she was still typing away on tomorrows order of action when Harry came in. She didn't notice until he stood right behind her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

"Come to bed."

"In a minute," she replied.

"Now," he said firmly. "There's nothing else you can do. Not tonight. And I'm lonely in bed without you."

Ruth turned around at that, smiling at him. "So I should stop working because my boss is telling me he's lonely in bed. I'm sure there's a sexual assault charge in there somewhere."

"Don't tease me," he said in a low voice. He leaned over her and pressed a feather light kiss to her lips.

"Now who's teasing?" she asked, eyes bright.

"Come to bed," he repeated. Ruth nodded and turned from him to shut down the computer. A minute later she stood up and allowed herself to be scooped against his chest. Harry kissed her hair and then led them to their room. Ruth suddenly realised how exhausted she was and she collapsed on the bed without taking any of her clothes off.

"Did you mean what you said about a year ago?" Harry asked.

"Harry, I'm exhausted. I can't remember what I said this morning, let alone a year ago," she said with a sigh. "Remind me."

Harry caught sight of her in the mirror and saw that she was very tired. He probably could have brought this up at a better time. "Never mind. Forget it."

His tone caught her attention and she sat up suddenly. "What is it? What are you talking about?" Harry sat on the end of the bed, took his shoes off and unbuttoned his shirt.

"Forget it," he said firmly.

"I can't," she said. "You wanted to talk to me, you could at least give me the courtesy of letting me know what you're thinking." She pushed his shirt away from him and ran her hands over his chest. "Please?"

Harry sighed heavily. "You told me that you never wanted to get married." Her hands paused over his chest and he turned, needing to gauge her reaction. Her face showed nothing but shock. "Forget it."

"Harry…"

"No, I shouldn't have mentioned it," he said firmly. "You made yourself perfectly clear when it came up in conversation last time. Its my own stupid fault."

"Harry…"

"I'd really like us to forget this conversation," he said firmly as he got into bed and lay on his side, not facing her.

"Harry, listen to me, please," she said softly. He turned after a moment and watched her carefully. Her eyes were filled with tears and he realised what a complete idiot he was for bringing this up. "Is it important to you?"

"Yes," he said honestly. "I don't even have a valid reason either. I just love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I don't want to be lonely. I want commitment."

"Harry, I live with you," she said quietly.

"Its not the same," he said. "Look, it doesn't matter. As long as you love me."

"I do love you," she said ardently. "I do. Very much. I've been thinking from purely a practical standpoint," Ruth started. "If… we were married, then if you were injured, in hospital I would be able to see you. Also, what happened a few months ago, you being suspended, and not allowed to come home because you were living with a fellow MI5 agent… That wouldn't have happened if we were married."

"No it wouldn't," he agreed quietly. "There would have been nothing that they could have done to stop us living in the same house. No matter the state of my job."

"Well, from a purely practical standpoint it makes sense," she said quietly. "But it does depend. Are you actually asking me?"

"Depends," he said, a slight smile appearing on his face now that he knew she wasn't completely adverse to the idea. Even if it was for the most unromantic of reasons. "I don't want you to say yes just because you're placating me. I want you to want it. You can't just agree to it because its what I want."

"I know that," she said. "When you were suspended, I got to see my life without you. Even though we spoke every night. It wasn't a nice way to live. I hated being without you. I'm not so against marriage as I was when I first discussed it with you. Because I don't want to be without you. That's how I feel, it is that simple."

"Good," Harry said, feeling his spirits lift higher than he thought possible when he began this conversation.

"Harry, if… we ever were to marry… I wouldn't wear a white dress, I don't want it in a church and I don't want to invite my whole family. Being the centre of attention like that… I hate it. At the best of times I don't like people watching me."

"Ruth, I don't care about the wedding," he said firmly. "I care about two things. Making you happy, and the type of marriage we'll have. That's it. I want to make this clear though. I'll love you whatever you decide. You don't have to marry me to keep me."

"I know, and if that were the case… marriage or nothing, I wouldn't even consider this. Because if you loved me, you'd wait for me to be happy and comfortable. And you are."

"I am," he agreed.

"Anyway, this is all hypothetical because you haven't asked me," she said, stripping out of the rest of her clothes and getting in bed next to Harry.

"No I haven't," he agreed. He kissed the back of her neck and then switched the lights out. "Goodnight."

"That's it?" Ruth asked bewildered. "You're not going to ask me?"

"Not now," he said, grinning in the darkness. "You're expecting it. I want to surprise you. See the look on your face." Harry cried out as a feather pillow whacked him in the face. "Hey! What was that for!"

"You bloody man!" Ruth shouted at him, hitting him repeatedly with the pillow. "You bring that up and then don't even ask me the question? What the hell is wrong with you!" Blows kept raining down on him and he rolled over her, pushing her into the mattress to stop him from being attacked by a pillow.

"Calm down," he said forcefully. He tilted her chin up so he could look directly in her eyes and realised how she looked. "You're… disappointed? Aren't you?"

"Well, you start mentioning marriage… and then you just drop it," she said in a rush. "What's a girl supposed to think!" Harry didn't reply verbally, instead he leaned in and kissed her deeply. At first she was too angry to respond but he kissed so well that after a moment she just couldn't help herself. She gave in and enjoyed one of the best kisses he'd ever given her.

"Ruth Evershed, I love you so much," he said, eyes bright even in the darkness. "I want to spend every single day with you for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?"

"No ring?" she questioned even though her eyes were bright with tears. "You've got to tempt a girl Harry."

"Some women want everything," he said with a (fake) heavy sigh and he got out of bed, switching a lamp on. He went to his jacket and retrieved a small red velvet jewellery box from the inside pocket. He got back into bed next to her, pleased to see she was smiling. He kissed her hair once before opening the box to her, revealing a silver band with a cluster of tiny diamonds in the centre. It was absolutely beautiful, the diamonds sparkling away. It also wasn't new, she could tell.

"Is that from the twenties?" she asked, taking the ring very carefully out of the box.

"You've got a good eye for jewellery," he said. "Yes it is. I've had it cleaned up a bit. It looked really woebegone when I first bought it in a little antique shop, but it came up well." He had kept talking simply to hide his nervousness that she hadn't yet answered his question.

"Its beautiful," she said honestly. She tilted it towards the light for a moment before carefully slipping it on her finger. "Yes I will marry you," she said simply. And in that moment it really was simple. He kissed her passionately, thrilled that she'd given him the answer he wanted, and even happier that it seemed to be what she wanted too. When they broke apart he held her left hand, wanting to see his ring on her finger when he noticed her hand was in a fist.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"It… doesn't really… fit," Ruth said, biting her lip. "It's a little… loose."

"Give it here, I'll get it resized," Harry said immediately, wishing he'd delved into her jewellery and compared it to one of her rings before giving it to her.

"What? No, you can't have it back!" she squeaked at him.

"You'll get it back when it fits properly," Harry said quietly. "I promise."

"No," she said. "Please let me wear it. Just for a few minutes, before you rob it from me."

"I'm not robbing it from you," he said firmly. "I'm going to make sure it fits you."

"Give me the box," Ruth said. "I'll get it resized myself. You have no idea what to get it sized to, and I don't either. I'll get the jewellers to tell me my ring size when I go in."

"I'm paying for it," Harry demanded, conceding that she had a slight point. He had no way of knowing exactly what size Ruth's finger was. It would probably be best to let a professional tell her. But he was damned if he was letting her pay for it.

"Fine," she said with a smile, recognising that she had to let him be the man in this instance. He'd never rest otherwise. She looked at the ring on her finger for a minute, watching it sparkle in the dim light. Then she reached for the minimal jewellery she had with her and found a simple silver chain and slipped the ring onto it, so she could wear the ring around her neck until it fit her properly. Then she fastened the necklace to her. "There. Just until it fits."

"I love you," Harry said amused at her actions.

"Love you too," she said, laying back and closing her eyes. "Switch the light off."  
Harry chuckled, did as she asked and then kissed his fiancé. At this moment in time, life was very very good.

* * *

**Hope this doesn't seem too out of character. The dreaded 5-5 is coming up soon but I won't be following the on screen story. Please leave a review if you have a moment, thank you.**


	25. Chapter 25

No one noticed anything different about Harry or Ruth until they got back to the grid. The first thing Ruth did when back at home was get the ring resized. Unfortunately she had to leave it there and come back for it the next day, which meant she had to live twenty four hours without it. Considering how much she'd been ambivalent towards marriage, it surprised her how much this hurt her.

When she picked it up the next day she was thrilled to find it fit her perfectly. Just as it should. She used Harry's credit card (as he had repeatedly insisted) and when she left the jewellers she had a massive smile on her face.

Back on the grid it took perhaps five minutes for Jo to notice the ring on her finger. "Oh my God!" she said loudly so everyone took notice. Ruth followed her gaze to the ring on her finger and blushed. "Congratulations!"

"Thank you," Ruth said, her face bright red. Everyone else noticed (Jo's loud voice carrying a lot) but no one said anything to her directly. Which made her think she was being talked about behind her back. She shook herself, because it shouldn't matter what others said. It didn't, she told herself.

"Congratulations," Malcolm said quietly to her right. "I hope you'll be very happy together."

"Thanks Malcolm," she said, a small smile on her face. She knew he meant it. She got back to work, not quite able to put her happiness away.

* * *

"I can't give you a lift in to work today," Harry said. "I have a meeting at the Home Office, and my cars in for its MOT."

"That's fine, I'll get the tube," Ruth said easily.

"I have to go," he said as Ruth got her butter out of the fridge for her toast. "Early meeting. Sorry."

"No, go," she said lightly. "See you later." He kissed her quickly and deeply.

"Bye." Returning to her toast Ruth wondered if she'd ever been this happy. Looking back, she should have known it was too good to last.

* * *

On the tube station while fiddling with her umbrella she could have sworn someone gave her a drop. It felt wrong and unnatural. Especially with what happened next, the man in question throwing himself under a train. More than a little suspicious. It had shaken Ruth up terribly, seeing a man die right in front of her, even if she wouldn't admit it. Harry had met her at home and made her swear to take the day off of work. She'd been very indifferent as to giving him an answer, but he was standing firm.

"I promise to give Malcolm the tenner," he said. "See if there's anything on it."

"Thank you," Ruth said. She rubbed her eyes and breathed heavily as the image of that man jumping in front of a train came to her again. "I'm sorry, I can't stop thinking about it."

"Its okay," Harry said holding her close. "Its enough to shock anyone." He stroked her back until her breathing evened out and then stood back from her. "I'm sorry but I have to go," he said.

"I know," she replied. "I know you're putting people off to be here. Go, I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?" Ruth nodded. Harry kissed her softly before he turned and left, feeling guilty that he had to do this to her. But then again, it was lucky he worked with her, because she knew that when he left at times like this, it wasn't because he wanted to. It was because the country needed him, as much as it was inconvenient to him personally. And she knew that and never held it against him. It was one step to a better marriage than his first one at any rate.

* * *

**_Majority of 5-5 here..._**

* * *

"Harry, you're admitting to murder!" Adam said loudly. "They'll blame you for Maudsley's death and you'll go to prison for condoning torture on top of that."

"I know," Harry said firmly. "What's the other option? I let them take Ruth instead? I won't do that Adam, you know I won't. Someone has to take the blame, let it be me."

"Harry, she won't let you do this," Adam said firmly. "She believes that your place is at MI5, she always has. She would rather it be blamed on her. She'll do anything to get you out of prison, even if it means her stepping into the frame instead"

"Do not let her do that!" Harry said more fervently than Adam expected. "Whatever happens, you have to promise me that you will not let her be thrown to the lions Adam. Please!"

"Why are you so desperate?" Adam asked. "All she would be doing is taking the blame for what you are now. Why the urgency?"

Harry looked into Adam's face for a long moment, debating whether to be honest or not. He decided he could trust him, Adam was more than his agent, he was a friend too. "She's pregnant."

"Oh Jesus." Adam looked flabbergasted as Harry stayed glaring at him.

"She hasn't told me, but she is. You have to talk sense into her Adam. She can't take the blame for this. Especially when she didn't do it."

"You didn't do it either," Adam said simply.

"No I didn't," he said. "All I want is for Ruth to be safe. Please talk some sense into her. Use me as Fox on those documents. Just make sure she doesn't do anything stupid."

"I'll do my best." Adam sighed. "You don't have to do this."

"I have no other option," he said quietly. "Go. I don't want her doing anything stupid."

"We'll get you out of here sooner or later," Adam assured him. "Ruth won't rest until you're cleared."

"I know," Harry said, smiling at the thought of her. "Go." Adam didn't wait any longer and went to find Ruth and Zaf. After what Harry had said, if Ruth did anything stupid Harry would hit the roof. So it was important that he get to her first.

* * *

"There's nothing we can do," Adam said as they walked to his car. "He's going to sell himself out to protect you."

"Well, we could do one thing," Ruth said, trying her hardest not to think of Harry in prison. "I'll take the blame for it."

"No you can't," Adam said firmly.

"Of course I can," she said indignantly. "Harry needs to be at MI5, what will happen if he isn't? He's the only one who can stand up to these people who are condoning and authorising torture. I can't. None of us can."

"Ruth, you're not listening to me," Adam said firmly, interrupting Zaf's objections. "You can't." Ruth wrinkled her brow in confusion. "I spoke to Harry. He told me."

"Told you what?" she asked in a voice that was almost a hiss. Adam didn't reply, he simply looked at her. "He doesn't know," Ruth said, but the look on her face and the fact she was biting her lip hard gave her away.

"Think of someone other than yourself," Adam said firmly.

"I hate you for this," she said, almost crying.

"I know. I'm only passing the message on." Ruth angrily wiped the tears from her eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Zaf asked, completely lost in the conversation.

"Adam is referring to the fact that I'm pregnant," Ruth said bluntly. Zaf's mouth dropped open but neither of the other two were paying him any attention at all. "Fine. I won't do anything that would endanger me. But I want to see him."

"That might be difficult…"

"Adam! I want to see him, and then I will work on proving that he did not kill anyone, push someone in front of a train, or order me to do it, or be at a meeting agreeing to torture terror suspects."

"I'll bribe the prison guards." Zaf said easily.

"Thank you." Ruth wiped her eyes as they went to Adam's car, Zaf already on the phone pulling some strings. Ruth needed to see him. Desperately.

* * *

"You have five minutes," Adam told her while guarding the door leading to Harry's cell. God, how she hated that word. His _cell_. As soon as she came into sight Harry stood up and looked at her, completely bewildered.

"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked in a low voice. Ruth didn't answer until she'd unlocked the door with a stolen set of keys. As soon as she had she almost threw herself at him and he held her tightly to his chest, one hand cradling her face.

"Harry, you can't do this," she whispered into his shirt.

"Its too late," he said. "I refuse to allow you to be set up. I'm taking your place."

"You're such a stupid, stupid man!" she said, drawing back from him and trying not to cry.

"Ruth, I wouldn't let you do it anyway," he said, stroking her hair. "But especially not now." His eyes dropped to her stomach and she blushed.

"How did you know?"

"I'm a spook Ruth," he said. "I saw the signs. How far gone are you?"

"About eight or nine weeks," she said. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't know how you'd react."

"I'm so happy," he said, smiling even in the dire situation. "You're carrying our little girl. I couldn't imagine anything more perfect."

"You don't know it's a girl," she said reasonably.

"Yes, but I like the image of you holding our newborn daughter. With your hair and bright blue eyes… Its… just an image I like to imagine."

"Harry, what are we going to do?" she said bringing the conversation back to more urgent matters.

"I have full faith in your ability to prove that I did not organise or condone torture methods," he said firmly. "You can get into any organisation in the country. Well, in the world I'd be inclined to say. There will be evidence somewhere. We just need time to dig it up. And no one is better at that then you."

"I am pretty good," she said, sniffing as her tears threatened to fall. "I'm not going to rest until you're free. I can't."

"I know," he said. "But I need you to promise me that you'll sleep and eat properly. Its not just you that you're looking after any longer."

"I'll do my best," she said. "I'm not going to promise, because you know what its like. At the best of times, and I need you home with me so I will find the evidence. But I will look after our little bean as best as I can."

"Don't ignore your doctors appointments either," he said quickly, knowing they were running out of time. "They're important."

"I won't miss them," she said. "I love you."

"I know. I love you too," he said sadly. "Come here." She did and they melted into a desperate passionate kiss. Who knew when they'd next get to hold and touch each other like this again?

"Ruth," Adam said firmly from somewhere in the distance.

"I have to go," she whispered, parting from him incredibly reluctantly. "I will get you out of here. I'll prove that you had nothing to do with it."

"I know you won't let it go," Harry said with half a smile. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"Ruth!" Adam called, more urgently this time. She parted from him, and hating herself she locked the door again so no one would realise she had been here.  
She found herself staring at Harry, her feet glued to the floor, unable and unwilling to move. "Go," he said softly. "I understand." She didn't move until Adam grabbed her under her arm and pulled her after him.

Ruth didn't remember exiting the prison. She didn't remember Adam driving away at double the speed limit. She'd been crying too much.

"Ruth, you need to calm down," Adam said as he parked in the grids underground car park.

"Calm down!"

"Think of the baby," Adam interrupted before she could go off on a full scale rant. "You stressing yourself out and worrying isn't going to help." Ruth glared at him. "I know you'll be worried anyway, but… just try to stay calm."

She glared at him for a few more seconds before she sighed and closed her eyes. "You're right, I know you are," she said. "I can't stop thinking of Harry in there. Away from everything."

"I think I should take you home," Adam sad after a minutes silence.

"No!" she said urgently. "No, I'm more use here. I'll take it easy," she added, correctly interpreting his heavy silence.

"Okay," Adam said. "I'll get Jo and Malcolm to split your caseload so you can focus on Harry."

"Thank you," she said sincerely. "I appreciate that."

"It'll help your sanity," Adam said. "And means that Harry won't have me decapitated the second he's released from prison." Ruth smiled weakly at that.

"Thank you," she repeated. "Once more unto the breach," she added as she opened the car door. Adam watched her for a moment sadly. He knew that in the coming weeks he'd have to look after her. For both Harry's and her own sake.

* * *

When Ruth got home that night she felt so incredibly lonely. The house had no presence of human company at all. And she was reminded again that Harry was languishing in a prison cell. Over the course of the day he'd been charged with conspiracy to torture and ordering the murder of Mik Maudsley. Not exactly a great first day for Ruth in proving his innocence. She sat down by the kitchen table and dropped her keys with a metallic thump on the wood. Both Fidget and Scarlet came in, the dog eager for her walk, the cat simply wanting attention. Ruth did her duty and stroked Fidget for several minutes before the feline stalked off. Then she turned to Scarlet who was panting and wagging her tail eagerly. On one hand Ruth felt glad that the dog had got used to her, but on the other she desperately wished Harry was here to walk his dog.

"Come on old girl," she said, thinking that some fresh air might do herself some good anyway. "Want to go to the park?" Scarlet yapped. From the word park, she knew she'd be going out. Ruth got her lead and then went outside, hoping that Harry was okay in prison.

* * *

Harry stared at the grey ceiling, sleep far from him. He couldn't believe what had happened over the last forty eight hours, and that it had resulted in him being incarcerated. He missed Ruth terribly and wanted nothing more than to hold her and talk about their future. All three of their futures. But he couldn't. Instead he was in a prison cell, waiting for her brilliance and intelligence to get him out of here. He had no doubt that, with time, she would manage to clear his name. But he didn't know how deeply the trails were buried, and he had no idea how long it would take her to discover the truth. The thought was not a helpful one. He closed his eyes, picturing her face and how she looked when she smiled at him, attempting to get some sleep.

* * *

***Ducks flaming torches!* Sorry, but I wanted the same plot but with Ruth to stay put. Please leave a review! **


	26. Chapter 26

The days passed, and slowly turned into weeks with no evidence coming to light. Ruth was determined not to fall apart, because she knew it would help no one. She'd gone to see Harry in prison twice now. Neither occasion was particularly notable, except for the fact she'd got to see him. Harry had made her promise to get some sleep, telling her she looked tired. The truth was she couldn't sleep without him next to her. As well as that in the early hours of the morning, her morning sickness hit her, so her sleep was broken since three in the morning every single day. He had told her that he wouldn't mind if it would take him longer to get out of prison, as long as she was looking after their bean. She appreciated what he was saying, but knew it was torturing him to be away from her while she was pregnant, as it was her.

Ruth had her first scan booked, and despite Harry's noticeable absence she was very much looking forward to it. The hospital, shockingly enough was running on time, so Ruth found herself sitting on the examination table in relatively quick time.

"Are we waiting for the father?" the peppy and eager doctor said.

"No, he isn't here," Ruth said quickly. "He's away on business."

"Oh," she said, a lot of meaning behind that one word. Ruth ignored this, as she hadn't been able to voice the truth. She knew he'd want to be here today. "Right, unbutton your blouse for me a bit please. This gel will be a bit cold." Ruth did as instructed and gasped at the freezing gel. The doctor moved the wand over her flat stomach, spreading the gel around. "Okay, your uterus looks good here," she said slowly, hitting a couple of buttons on the machine as Ruth watched the screen eagerly, wanting to see her child for the first time. "There is your baby," the doctor said happily. "The heartbeat looks strong and healthy, that's good. And… right there is the head."

"It looks bigger than I thought it would," Ruth said, smiling at the sight of her child. Her and Harry's baby. "I thought it would be a little bit… well, smaller and less clear."

"It looks like you're twelve weeks pregnant," the doctor said. "The foetus is the right size. That's later than we advise for first scans, but everything looks good."

"Twelve weeks?" Ruth questioned. The doctor nodded and Ruth counted back in her head. Typical. She'd got pregnant that night at Havensworth when Harry had asked her to marry him. He really didn't waste any time. Ruth looked at the baby on screen and for the first time saw it as an actual person. In six months, ready or not, this brand new little life was going to be born. Someone who would be totally dependent on her. The thought was sobering and more than a little frightening. She had thought about the baby, but in no more practical terms than Harry was missing it. Would miss the first time the baby kicked and watching it grow inside her if he remained in prison. That and she needed him here with her. She hadn't thought that she was about to become a mother. That her whole life would change and would never go back. She was going to be responsible for another human being.

Without being aware of it she started crying. The doctor handed her some tissues, sympathy on her face which made Ruth feel even worse. "I'm sorry," she said in between sobs. "Its just hit me. How huge this is. My life… its going to change."

"Yes," the doctor said kindly as she printed off a picture of their baby.

"Can I have two pictures please?" Ruth asked. She would give one to Harry, she owed him that much at least.

"Of course," the doctor said. "I'd like you to make another appointment in a months time or so. We may be able to tell the gender then."

"I'm not sure I want to know," Ruth said. What she really meant was she wasn't sure she'd be able to find out when Harry wasn't present. It would feel like a betrayal.

"That's fine," the doctor replied. "I'd like an appointment in a months time anyway. Just to check everything is going well."

"Okay," Ruth said easily. "Thank you. I'll try not to cry next time."

"Don't worry," she said easily. "One dad to be looked at the screen, fainted and hit his head on the corner of the table knocking himself into unconsciousness. I think that'll be the most memorable one I've had." Ruth laughed . The first time she'd even genuinely smiled in weeks. It was with the thought of her baby that she walked out of the hospital and she knew that she needed Harry back.

* * *

Jo looked around anxiously on the London estate. She'd passed so many CCTV cameras that it worried her but Malcolm had assured her that he was controlling them all, and they were re-looping material from the previous week. Jo knocked on the door of the flat she needed, hoping she looked meek and harmless enough that she'd be let in with minimal questions. The door opened to reveal a middle aged blonde woman, watching her curiously. "Yes?"

"Hello Miss Wood. I'm PC Hayden." Jo showed her fake badge to the woman. "I'd like to talk to you, may I come in?"

"What's this about?" she asked, still not opening the door to her. Jo paused, unsure of how to phrase it. The woman sighed. "Its about the tube train incident. Isnt it?"

"Yes, may I come in?"

"I guess you should," she said ungraciously. "Would you like a tea?"

"Please," Jo said, sitting down on the sofa. It was such a British thing, making a tea whenever visitors came, no matter how uncomfortable the visitor may be. When the woman came back in she looked very down as she handed Jo her mug.

"What do you want?"

"I need to talk about what happened," Jo said in a gentle voice. "Some new evidence has come to light, and I need to go over your witness statement." This was a lie, but she needed to use any excuse possible to make this woman doubt herself. And give her the honest version, rather than the one she'd been paid to repeat.

"What evidence?"

"Maudsley," Jo started. "The man who got hit by the tube train. We've discovered his suicide note."

"He left a suicide note?" the woman said surprised.

"Yes," Jo lied. "So I'd like to talk about what you saw."

"I'm sorry," she said in a rush. "I just said what they wanted me to say. I never meant for anyone to get hurt."

"Sorry, said what _who_ wanted?" Jo asked quickly.

"I don't know," she admitted. "A man came around here with… a lot of men. To scare me I think. They told me what I had to say and then they left. I just repeated what I was told to."

"And you have no idea who they are?" Jo asked urgently.

"No," she said. "But they did give me check. For my cooperation. I haven't cashed it because I feel so awful. It… has a signature on it."

"I need to see that," Jo said urgently. The woman nodded and went to the cupboard in the kitchen. She came back in and handed it to Jo.

"I didn't want to cash it," she explained. "Its dirty money." Jo looked at the check and felt a dart of relief fill her. The signature was horribly familiar. Oliver Mace.

"Thank you," Jo said fervently. "I'll need to take this."

"I was never going to use it anyway," the woman said with a shrug.

"I need you to tell me exactly what you saw that day."

"He jumped," she said simply. "He just jumped in front of a train. The woman, she was trying to get his attention. Give him something I think, I wasn't paying attention. I hate London crowds during rush hour, I just... I wasn't paying very much attention to them. She looked just as shocked as I was. Except for the fact that I just started screaming. I was a bit… horrified that someone jumped in front of a train."

"So, Mr Maudsley jumped. That's what you're saying?"

"I don't know why, but yes he did." She sighed to herself.

"Would you be willing to retract your statement?"

There was a long pause and Jo wondered if she'd pushed it too far. "I would be… but I'm scared. I don't want to be attacked by his cronies."

"The man in question has lost his power," Jo said. "He's facing prison, with condoning torture and betraying his position. He won't be coming after you."

"Are you sure?" she said. "I mean, I like my life. And I like living it with no broken bones. They looked more than capable."

"I'm sure," Jo said. "The woman you accused of pushing the man under the train, she's pregnant. Her fiancé took the blame for the murder, saying she did it under his orders. As you may have guessed, there is more to this than one mans suicide."

"Yes, I did guess that," she said simply. "What happened?"

"I can't tell you," Jo said. "It's… MI5. There's not a lot I can tell you. Its all classified."

"Okay," the woman said. "I would retract my statement. I will. I've been… living with guilt. I do feel awful."

"Good. Please do."

"Do you want to take me down to the station now?" the woman questioned. "Its just, I'm due at work."

"No, I'll leave you to get on with your life," Jo said as her appearance at the police station would be awkward. "But I'll be back here if you go back on your word."

"I won't," she said, looking utterly defeated. Jo had no reason to believe this woman and yet she did. And if not, Jo had two separate tape recorders in her pocket. It looked like the case against Maudsley's murder had fallen apart. Especially as Ruth had found the original CCTV that morning. It would be enough to make the case completely collapse. So now all they had to deal with would be the torture scandal still held against Harry.


	27. Chapter 27

"The murder charge has been dropped," Ruth said eagerly to Harry the next time she saw him in prison.

"I know," he said, grinning at her. "Thank you."

"It wasn't all me," she said. "Jo got that horrible woman to retract her statement. What she said about me pushing him under the train."

"And you found the CCTV."

"I did," Ruth said, still smiling. "Any chance they're going to let you out on bail?"

"No," Harry said, the smile fading from his face. "My lawyers told me there's zero chance. Because I'm such a good field agent they feel that my flight risk is incredibly high. So I'm stuck here until the trial."

"It won't go to trial," Ruth said firmly. "Its going to take about a year for all the evidence to be gathered. It's a very politically heavy case. So you'll be out of here long before that," Ruth said firmly. "Unless you do anything stupid like confess?"

"I won't," he said, knowing she was warning him. "How are you? And the baby?"

"Both good," she said. "I want to get rid of your study. So we have somewhere for the baby. A nursery, and then when she's older, her own room."

"She?" Harry questioned quickly.

"Oh, I don't know," Ruth reassured him. "I've just been calling her a girl because that's what you said. Bad habit."

"Take the study," he said. "I don't care. Its not like I'm using it stuck in here."

"Thanks," she said, feeling a little lighter. "I have a picture. Its all black and grey blurry lines but…" She passed him the small square and Harry grinned.

"Christ," he said to himself. "Oh God, we are actually going to be parents."

"Yes we are," Ruth said. "I had a moment of that when I was in the hospital. I had a sudden flash of fear that this baby will be totally dependent on me. But I feel… a bit calmer now.

"How far gone are you?" he asked, still unable to tear his eyes off of the image of their child.

"Nearly thirteen weeks," she said.

Harry thought to himself. "It happened at Havensworth didn't it?"

"Yes," she said. "Apparently proposing to me had an adverse reaction."

Harry chuckled. "Can I keep the picture?"

"Yeah of course," she said instantly. "There's one on the fridge at home."

"Good," he said. "Thank you."

"I hate you being in here," she said.

"Its not fantastic on my side of things either," Harry agreed. "Has she moved yet?"

"No," Ruth said. "I shouldn't expect it for a couple of weeks yet. The doctor said she's healthy. Just as she should be."

"Are you keeping your stress levels down?" Harry asked firmly. "Your blood pressure. I don't want to worry more than I already am."

"As low as my stress levels can be," she replied. "Given that you're in prison. And my blood pressure was checked, its within normal limits."

"Hmm," Harry said in her favourite growl that she loved. "Make sure it stays that way."

"Harry, I can control what I eat, and when I sleep. I can't control what my blood pressure reading will be."

"I know," he said softening a bit.

"I love you," she said. "I want you out of here and home with me."

"So I can do the heavy lifting and move my desk out of the study?"

"Amongst other reasons," she said easily.

"I love you too," he said, just before the buzzer went, signalling the end of visiting hours.

"I won't come and see you next week," Ruth said quickly. "Catherine. She wants to see you and its not fair that I monopolise all your visits."

"I'll miss you then," he said. He gave her a long hug and kissed the top of her hair before they were prised apart by a prison guard. "Don't leave me to rot in here."

"Not a chance," she said, forcing herself to keep it together. Having Harry seeing her cry was not what she wanted. She only let the tears fall when she left the prison. This was so bitterly unfair. All she wanted was for him to come home with her. Was that really so much to ask?

* * *

"How's it going?" Malcolm asked one morning about a week later. Ruth's eyes were glued to her computer screen.

"I've found the room they used for their meeting," Ruth said, without meeting his eyes, too busy focusing on her screen. "Somewhere there will be a tape recording of it. It was one of Mace's properties and he's too paranoid by far not to bug and CCTV absolutely everything he owns. Somewhere there is either a transcript, or a recording, and I need to find it."

"I meant with the baby," Malcolm said. "I know you're stressed. But you need to eat."

"I have eaten," she said refusing to let him distract her.

"When?" Malcolm asked. Ruth stopped what she was doing and looked at him. "Did you have breakfast?"

"Er… no," she said. "Don't look at me like that, I've only just stopped having morning sickness. I don't eat early because I don't want to risk it."

"Harry called me," he said. "He made me promise to make sure you were eating and sleeping."

"Doesn't he trust me?" Ruth asked indignantly.

"Not when his freedom is at stake, no," Malcolm said. "I've got you a sandwich, please eat it. I don't want Harry to send a hit squad after me. It would be a waste of my time having to cripple them all with a perfectly pitched alarm system to make them deaf wouldn't it?"

Ruth smiled at him and took the proffered sandwich. "What is it?"

"Cheese and ham," he said. "Made by thine own fair hand."

"Thank you," she said, feeling the least she could do was eat. Despite Harry's clear mistrust of her, thinking she wasn't able to look after herself, she was taking her pregnancy seriously. She simply hadn't eaten breakfast for the last month because she felt it too much of a risk on top of her morning sickness. She didn't enjoy throwing up all the time and it was worse when she'd just eaten. The sandwich was delicious and Ruth gave Malcolm a smile when she'd finished.

"If Harry calls you again, tell him that I am taking care of myself, and our baby is perfectly healthy," she said sweetly.

"I will," Malcolm said amused. Ruth smiled and then quickly closed her computer window as Ryan Edwards walked over, Harry's temporary replacement. He knew about Ruth and Harry's relationship and he also knew that Ruth was using her time on the grid to guarantee Harry's freedom. But he never could catch her at it, and her work wasn't suffering either. She was far too sharp to leave trails on her computer and he could guess why the hard hearted Harry Pearce had fallen for her in the first place. She looked like a bit of something and nothing, but dig under the surface and she was fiercely intelligent with more than a little spark of energy about her.

"How is the report on the Birmingham mosque riots going?" he asked her.

"Well," she said. "I'm nearly finished with it, it'll be on your desk by the end of the day." Were Ruth not spending her time looking for tape recordings to free Harry, she would have already completed it. But some things were more important. "I've given you my maternity leave paperwork," Ruth said quickly. "Have you signed off on it?" It was really a formality, even MI5 couldn't stop a pregnant woman from having leave to be with her newborn child.

"I haven't even seen it," he said. "Whitehall meeting this morning. I didn't know you were pregnant," he added with an incredulously raised eyebrow.

"Oh, yes," she said. "I know thirty seven is getting on a bit for a first child, but yes I am. Can you sign it please?"

"I will," he said honestly. As Ryan Edwards sat behind Harry's desk he cursed the lucky bastard. How could he be so lucky as to snag Ruth Evershed for his second wife. Some men really did have all the luck. Ryan found the paperwork in question, speed read it, signed it and then put it on the small pile on his desk to be taken to human resources. They would need a temporary replacement for her brilliance, that much was certain.

* * *

Ruth had taken to having bath's rather than showers when she got home from work. It allowed her to both think and relax in peace and quiet. It was a good way to think of unexplored avenues to get those elusive tape recordings she was sure existed. Ruth had come to the conclusion that there was no electric copy. Which meant they were probably hidden somewhere on Mace's rather large country estate. Mace was currently languishing in prison, and unlike some, that was the best place for him. But she didn't delude herself that his mansion would be poorly guarded, it wouldn't be. Mace was probably calling the head of his security daily, to make sure that his little pretty, stupid and ignorant wife didn't find anything she wasn't supposed to.

So, Ruth surmised, she had to work out a way to get through the security and have someone explore the safe. Which was practically the size of a small bedroom so would take hours to go through with a fine tooth comb. That led to the assumption that night was probably the best cover. It would give them the most time to go in and discover what other secrets Mace was keeping. That would be satisfying she thought with a smile. "Get the bastard for some of his numerous crimes." Ruth washed herself with that rather happy thought and felt a flutter in her stomach. She dropped the sponge into the water, unable to believe what she was feeling, willing it to happen again. There! Another tiny flutter near her belly button. Her child was moving.

"Oh my baby," Ruth whispered to herself, hands on her stomach, now no longer flat, but not exactly a noticeable when wearing clothes, more like she'd swallowed a baseball than anything else. Ruth felt like crying with happiness as her child's movements subsided quickly. Then she felt like crying with sadness because Harry wasn't here to share it with her. To share it with them. "Its okay," she said to her stomach. "He'll be home soon. I promise. I can't drag his desk out of your nursery by myself can I?" Ruth sunk down in the water and thought about ways of getting into Mace's mansion.

* * *

**Thank you to everyone for the reviews, especially TheChicaChic who reviewed about fifteen chapters last night. :)**


	28. Mace's Mansion

"Adam, I need your help," she said when she got into work the next day. "I need someone to go through Mace's safe room in his Sussex mansion."

"Oh sure, next I'll go and raid the prime ministers bedroom," Adam said sarcastically.

"I'm serious," Ruth said. Adam looked into her face.

"Oh God you are, aren't you," he said, heart plummeting. "Mace is a security freak, it will be a nightmare to get into."

"I know," Ruth said. "Which is why I'm asking you." Adam sighed. "I've been into every inventory I have access to and every one that I don't, which has taken an awful lot of hacking. There is no record of the meeting, and there has to be somewhere, its what I'm holding on to."

"Ruth, what if there isn't?" Adam asked quietly.

"That scares me every waking hour," Ruth said. "But I am not giving up until I look in his safe. He keeps records of everything, you know he does. He has his receptionists appointment diaries from the eighties, all stacked in chronological order. I can't believe he'd not keep a record of such an important meeting."

"You have a point," he said. "I don't know how we're going to break in. But I'll help you and Harry. Talk to Malcolm, have him check out the security."

"Security on what?" Malcolm asked, hearing his name as he went behind them. Adam left and Ruth explained what she wanted.

"I can tell you what he's got on the property," Malcolm said. "I can't tell you whether we can get around it or not."

"I'll take that for the moment," she said with a smile. "Thank you."

"No problem," he said easily, going to his desk. Ruth breathed a sigh of relief. At least she would know what she was dealing with after Malcolm's investigation.

* * *

"Right, twenty four hour CCTV on fifty three cameras on two separate circuits," Malcolm said a couple of days later in the meeting room. Ryan Edwards had gone to yet another meeting in Whitehall (code for a rendezvous with his married mistress), so they had the grid free to talk about Harry. "There are three guards who review the CCTV, swapping throughout the twenty four hour shift, and there are five security guards on the entire property over night. During the day the property relies on the CCTV, so I think we have to go in during the day. Wait until the wife goes to her penthouse in Paris, then go in."

"When will that be?" Ruth asked, irritated about the delay but respecting his opinion.

"She's on a flight in ten days time," Malcolm said. "To be honest we couldn't ask for her to be leaving the country any quicker, but I know it winds you up that we'll have to wait a week and a half."

"Yes it does," glad that he could read her irritation so well. "Adam, can you get in there for me? Please?"

"I will," he said. "Of course I will. I just wonder how I'll know what to take."

"21st March," Ruth said. "That's the date of the meeting. It must be labelled in some way. I know its there. I can feel it." No one dared argue with a pregnant hormonal woman whose fiancé was in prison unjustly. It wasn't worth the argument.

"I'll work on my plan," he said firmly. "We'll be ready for when Mace's wife leaves."

"Thank you," Ruth said firmly. "Malcolm, you can manipulate the CCTV right?"

"Course I can," he said with easy confidence.

"Good." Ruth sighed to herself as silence filled the room. "You can be quiet too." Adam and Malcolm looked at her bewildered. "I'm being kicked," she said, a hand on her stomach. She doesn't like it when I get upset." It was true. Whenever Ruth felt her heart race she got a little thump in her abdomen. Neither of the men said anything to that statement. "Shall we get back to work?" Ruth suggested tightly. They both moved at that, suddenly spurred into action.

* * *

"Okay, the plane's taken off," Ruth said as she looked into the Heathrow CCTV and departures board. It was Friday afternoon, but Mace's wife had finally left the country. "And she's on it. Adam, we can move on the house."

"Perfect," he said and she could hear him walking over frozen grass towards the house. "Jo's around the other side, watching out for any unwanted visitors," he said. Adam was wearing glasses, which had a camera attached so they could see what he could, just in case he missed anything when it got to the business end of the operation.

"Good," Ruth replied. "You have the code to the safe room memorised?"

"Of course I do," he said easily. "Even if the idiot's changed it I have a gizmo of Malcolm's which will let me in no problem."

"Good," Ruth said. "Sorry, I'm nervous."

"Don't be," Adam replied. "If its there, we'll find it. I promise. I don't like Harry in prison either." Ruth nodded, staying silent as Adam negotiated the heavily locked door and Malcolm made sure the CCTV stayed on last weeks loop.

"Right, moment of truth," Adam said twenty minutes later, his thumb on the keypad. Ruth held her breath. This had gone far too smoothly so far and she was expecting everything to fall apart and go spectacularly wrong. But it hadn't. Not yet. "Yes, that's it!" Adam said eagerly. "Still got the CCTV hidden?"

"Yep don't worry about that," Malcolm said.

"Oh my God, that place is huge!" Ruth said under her breath.

"Yes it is," Adam echoed. He walked through the dark and dingy room and her heart sank when she saw so much material. "Its dated," Adam said. "All organised by dates. I'll get it." Adam rushed through, the camera shaking as he went.

"Ruth, you are a genius," Adam said seeing a bunch of tapes labelled 21st March last Spring. Adam scooped them up, adding the papers they had been sitting on for good measure.

"Adam, see if there's any tapes from later in the year," Ruth said, suddenly struck by a brain wave. "Just in case, I want them too. Never know what we might find."

"Okay," Adam replied, sensing not to argue with her. He shoved all the tapes he could get into his bag when Jo suddenly spoke up.

"Adam, get out of there now," she said. "We have some uniformed company."

"On my way," he said. "Jo do the damsel in distress routine with your car. say its broken down and bat your eyelashes at them."

"Will do," she said.

"Must have tripped an alarm, bloody hell," Adam said under his breath.

"Get out of there now!" Ruth said. "I need those tapes."

"I know Ruth, I don't want to spend time in prison either," he said quickly. The camera started shaking as Adam ran for it, trying to leave out the back exit.

"Come on Adam," she said to herself. He made daylight and then the two policemen saw him and ran after him.

"Ruth don't worry, I'll lose them in the woods," Adam said. "Get Jo to drive away, I don't want her arrested for questioning. Get her to go straight back to you."

"Jo?" Malcolm prompted. She got the hint and switched the engine on, driving away fast. Ruth watched Adam's camera, her heart racing, praying for him to make it to safety. When he made it to the trees and kept running, she felt able to breathe, even though he wasn't safe. He ducked down into a pile of autumn leaves, covering himself with them and then froze. He was there for a good half an hour before he heard a distant engine start up.

"Is that the police gone?" he asked.

"Yes," Malcolm said. "You can come out now."

"How on earth am I meant to get back to London now?" Adam said, standing up and shaking the leaves off of him. He had no identification and no money in case he'd been caught. "I'm going to have to hitch," he said. "I'm going to disconnect and I hope I'll be on the grid before sunrise."

"You have the tapes though?" Ruth asked desperately.

"Yes, I do," he replied, a smile in his voice. "I'll give them to you as soon as we're in the same building."

"Thank you Adam," she said fervently. "Take care won't you."

"Course." The line was disconnected just as Edwards walked in, completely oblivious to their under the radar operation.

"The day going well?" Malcolm, Ruth and Zaf nodded and murmured in the affirmative. "Good, because I'm needed at a meeting."

"Another one?" Zaf asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Well, this one isn't so much a meeting… as a regrouping of old friends."

"A weekend piss up?" Zaf said, keeping his grin on his face so it wouldn't look too accusatory.

"Well, as you say Mr Younis," Edwards replied with barely a hint of embarrassment. "Call me if the world starts imploding."

"Will do," Ruth said, feeling calm enough to formulate words once again. She was so near to securing Harry's freedom. Those tapes better have the evidence she needed.

* * *

"Go home," Malcolm whispered to her. Ruth opened her eyes blearily, almost drifting off right at her desk.

"What? No, I'm going to wait for Adam."

"No you're not," he said. "There's nothing more that can be done here. Adam, when he gets off of that lorry will bring the tapes here, we'll lock them up in the safe and then go home and get some sleep. You can't do any more. Not today. So go home and rest. Make sure my god-daughter's getting nice and chubby."

Ruth smiled at that. "You know that's a really bad habit," she said. "Calling the little one a girl. We have no idea."

"Harry told me it's a girl," Malcolm said, brow creasing in confusion.

"Harry's convinced he's right," Ruth said firmly. There's no arguing with him. But we don't actually know."

"Ah, well, either way, we want the baby nice and healthy when it comes out don't we? Harry would want you to rest."

"All right, I'm going home," she said. "If I know you, there'll be a taxi waiting for me downstairs?"

"Guilty I'm afraid. Go." She put her coat on, knowing he had a point. She wouldn't have left if there was anything more she could feasibly do for Harry, but she knew there wasn't. So she left through the pods and went to her promised waiting taxi. Malcolm watched all this on the cameras, and once she'd left the building he picked up his mobile phone and called an unlisted number.

"Yes. She's gone as promised. No, no suspicion at all. No problems. Okay. Have a good weekend." Malcolm put the phone back in his pocket as he switched his monitor off. It had been a good productive day. And now, all he wanted to do was go home and have a long hot shower, and relax over the weekend.

* * *

Ruth had fallen asleep with the bedside lamp on, and a baby name book propped open on her ever expanding stomach. She'd gotten undressed into her PJ's but hadn't done much of anything else except flip through the book for ideas. She wasn't hungry so she didn't eat anything, even though she should have and she found her eyes drifting closed. Which is exactly how Harry found her an hour or so later. They had all lied to Ruth about Adam's whereabouts. Instead of hitch hiking his way back to the capital, they'd sent a chopper, which had got him back at Thames House within half an hour. They'd found the relevant bit of tape and the case against Harry had quietly been dropped, with the added side affect of piling the evidence up against Oliver Mace. Once the evidence was there the case fell apart with surprising ease. All in all it had been a very satisfying day, but Harry had wanted to surprise her. She'd done so much work clearing his name that he thought the least he could do was have a proper shave and a shower before seeing her.

So he had. And he was now watching the woman who was going to become his wife. And the mother of his child. The swell of their child was clearly visible now, beneath her PJ top and he smiled to himself. God, he loved her so very much. Her engagement ring was still sparkling on her finger and he felt his heart skip a beat.  
He took his jacket off and let it fall to the floor, his shoes and socks following quickly. He took off his belt but didn't remove what was left of his clothing. Carefully, he lay down on the bed, so as not to jostle her more than necessary. He brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face and kissed the corner of her eye, feather light. She didn't stir. He nuzzled into her neck slightly. He'd almost forgotten this sweet and slightly citrusy fragrance that she had. A result of her shampoo, but how could he forget? It was one of the things that always reminded him of her. Pressing a kiss to her exposed skin, he slid his right hand lower over her body, until it was resting on her baby bump, casting aside the baby name book for the time being. He stroked her stretched skin slowly and repeatedly. Their baby was growing inside her. This bump was a testament to the love they shared and the life they'd created. And he hadn't thought it possible that he could love her any more than he did a few months ago. He'd been wrong. Seeing her like this… Well, it took his breath away.

He kissed her cheek softly, moving slowly to her mouth. After a few seconds her lips sleepily responded and he smiled as his tongue delved into her mouth and she sighed. She kept enjoying the kiss, but a moment came when she froze. She drew away and opened her eyes, amazed that he was here, her eyes showing nothing but shock as he smiled at her.

"But… you're here?" she asked in a quiet and a hushed voice.

"I am," he agreed.

"Am I dreaming?" He reached for her waist and pinched her. "Ouch!"

"I guess you're not dreaming then," Harry said, amused.

Ruth sat up suddenly, and brushed her hair out of her face. "How!"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes! Of course it does."

"Because you are brilliant," he said. "The tapes had the evidence you wanted. Adam and Malcolm worked on it this afternoon and the case against me fell apart. As well as giving Mace a bit more trouble which is thoroughly welcome."

"They lied to me," Ruth said indignantly.

"I wanted to surprise you," he said. "Did I succeed?"

"I'll say," she replied, the smile blooming on her face. "You're here."

"I am," he said. He kissed her deeply and her hands laced behind his neck, pulling him as close as possible.

"Mm, God I've missed you," she murmured as her fingers went to his curls.

"The feelings mutual," he said. They spent about ten minutes reacquainting themselves with each other before Harry asked about the bump. "How is my little girl?" he asked, a hand on her stomach.

"An active little thing," Ruth said. "She or he is fine. Does like thumping and kicking me though."

"Good," he said. "Means she's healthy. You've been looking at baby names?"

"Of course I have," she said. "And I've been looking at boys names as well."

"Spoilsport," he said. "I've been thinking of names too."

"Have you?" she asked eagerly.

"Yes," he said. "Not a lot to do in prison."

"Sorry," Ruth said biting her lip. "I got you out as soon as I could."

"I know," he replied. "And I'm very grateful."

"Well, I need some muscle to clear out the study," she said.

"Cheeky," he said, before he rolled on top of her. He brushed his nose against hers before drawing her in for a kiss, as his hands went under her top. They didn't speak for the rest of the night.

* * *

**I had planned on Harry being in prison until the baby was born but I just couldn't do it to the pair of them. This story is slowly coming to its end now. Only two more chapters left I think. Please leave a review if you enjoyed, and a massive thanks to my reviewers so far.**


	29. Chapter 29

On Saturday morning Ruth awoke first. Her face burst into happiness as she saw him, but she didn't wake him. It was his first night back in their house, so he deserved his sleep. "I know," Ruth said under her breath as she felt a thump by her ribcage. "I'm getting breakfast, don't worry." She got out of bed and threw her dressing gown over herself before going downstairs and putting two slices of bread in the toaster. There was a huge pile of newspapers on the kitchen table. Harry liked having them delivered but Ruth hadn't had the leisure time to read them. So, by the time Harry came downstairs, Ruth had the table completely covered as she caught up on things that had passed her by while she was so focused on Harry.

He smiled at the sight she made and kissed her slowly. "Morning."

"Hi," she replied, folding the paper away. "So what baby names were you thinking?"

"That would be telling," he said as he made himself some coffee.

"I'm the mother, I will find out eventually," Ruth said blankly.

"I know, but I don't want you to just say no straight away."

"You've used my favourite name anyway," Ruth said easily. "Catherine," she added at the look on his face. "I liked Catherine for a baby girl. Can't use that now."

"Well, that means we have similar tastes at least," Harry said. "Charlotte?" Ruth said nothing but wrinkled her nose. "Okay, you clearly don't like that one."

"Sorry," she said. "I should have hid that better."

"Lucy."

"I like that," she said swiftly. He stared at her with disbelief. "I do," she added. "I've thought of Lucy on my own. I also thought Charlie, but I know you wouldn't like a girl called Charlie."

"You're right. I wouldn't. Maybe for a boy."

"No, I like… James."

"James," Harry repeated, testing the word in his mouth. "Mm, James. That sounds good."

"So Lucy or James," Ruth surmised. "Did we really agree so quickly?"

"I'm just relieved I'm not coming home to suggestions like Dionysus."

Ruth laughed. "I think naming a child after the Greek God of wine sends the wrong message."

"Maybe," he agreed happily. "I love you. Forgot to mention it last night."

"We were busy with other things," Ruth said, a slight blush staining her cheeks. "And I love you too. When are you coming back to Thames House?"

"Not for a month," he said.

"A month?!"

"Edwards needs to work out his temporary contract," Harry said. "How is my replacement?"

"An alcoholic," Ruth said sharply. "He doesn't care about anything other than the high salary packet he's getting."

"Ah well, you might look forward to getting me back then," he said.

"Actually… I've been thinking," Ruth said tentatively. "I don't want to be a working mother. When the baby comes, I want to be home with him or her. I don't want to be leaving every morning and not coming home until dark."

"I'm surprised," he said. "I thought you'd want to continue."

"Part of me does," she admitted. "But I think I'll regret it. With time."

"I'm not going to argue with you," he said. "I am going to ask you to think about it."

"Harry!" Ruth said suddenly, her tone changing completely.

"What's wrong?" he asked urgently.

"The baby's kicking," she said. Harry rushed over to her and put his hand on her stomach. Nothing. "Oh come on little one. Do it for your daddy." Still nothing. He was about to move his hand away, but Ruth clutched it to her stomach. "Wait. There." Harry did feel it that time. He smiled, feeling tears prick the corner of his eyes. The movement subsided and Harry took his hand back.

"Does she kick often?"

"Yes," Ruth said. "I'm sorry you missed the first time."

"So am I," he agreed fervently.

"You can be the first one to hold her," Ruth said. "I think I'll probably be exhausted anyway."

"You mean that?"

"Yes," she said. "I'll be too afraid that I'm going to drop her."

"You won't drop our daughter," Harry said. "You'll be a fantastic mother." He took a sip of his coffee and the smile froze on his face. "That's disgusting!"

"Decaf," she said. "Sorry, I should have warned you. Even the smell of the real stuff makes me feel sick."

"I'll not say a word of complaint against it then," he said dignified as he drank some more of the coffee. Ruth smiled at him and wondered when she had last felt this contented and happy.

* * *

On Sunday morning Ruth awoke to a loud bang followed quickly by some swearing. She reached across the bed for Harry and wasn't that surprised to find the bed empty and cold. She got up in search of him, quickly finding him in the study, looking as if he'd been attacked by a paper factory. "Stupid piece of… Oh. Did I wake you? Sorry."

"Its okay," she said quietly. "What are you doing?"

"Sorting out my papers," he said. "Most of its classified so it'll need to be burnt. I can't just throw it away, that's that pile by the door." Ruth looked, noting that it was the size of a five year old child. "And that's the pile of things I need to keep." That particular pile was about half an inch thick. Ruth smiled at him.

"You're taking this seriously aren't you?"

"Well, our little mite needs somewhere to sleep," Harry said. "And I'm damned if she's sleeping with us. It would be nice, but the thought of not being able to have sex with you… Well, I thought I'd do her room."

"Do you want some help?" she asked quietly, loving her gentle and caring fiancé. A side he so rarely showed to anyone else.  
"Yes actually," he said. "You can go downstairs, have some breakfast and put your feet up. Take things easy for our girl."

"Harry, you are not painting this room pink," she said firmly. "It will be a unisex colour because I don't want to saddle a baby boy with a pink nursery or vice versa. Do you hear me?"

"Yes, no pink," he agreed. "Yellow?"

"What baby boy would want a yellow room?" Ruth asked. "And green for a girl sounds wrong too."

"What colour would you want it?" he asked, guessing that referring to the hormonal pregnant one would be best in this instance.

"Creams and whites," she said. "Yes, I know its boring, but it's the safest bet."

"Do you want to find out the gender of the baby?" Harry asked. "I know you were waiting until I came home… But do you want to?"

"No," she said, a warm smile making her glow. "I don't. I've liked living in ignorant bliss. Do you?"

"I don't mind," he said honestly. "Fine. Creams and whites it is. But I insist on adding to it when the little one's born. She might have an old and over the hill father, but I am not going to be boring."

"You're not old," she said firmly. "And yes, that sounds good." She reached for him through the mountains of paperwork and kissed him good morning. "Do you want any toast?"

"I've eaten," he said. "I wanted to get started on this."

"I'll leave you to it then," Ruth said easily. "Love you."

"Love both of you," Harry replied. Ruth smiled and went downstairs, careful not to trip over Fidget who was winding between her legs.

"Have you fed the animals?" she called back.

"No," she heard his muffled voice shout. "Scarlet's ignoring me and I don't go near your devil of a cat."

"Come on then," Ruth said kindly. "Lets get you some food." The cat meowed because he knew what was coming and Ruth smiled to see Scarlet waiting by her food bowl. Yes, at the moment life was good.

* * *

**Several months later.**

"Harry," Ruth whispered at about two in the morning. No reaction. "Harry!" she hissed.

"Mm, go back to sleep darling," he murmured in her ear, wrapping an arm around her beach ball sized stomach.

"I can't," she said, keeping her voice calm. "I think I'm in labour."

"No," he said dreamily. "No you're not, you're only eight months pregnant."

"I know that," she replied. "But I'm feeling contractions. We need to get me to a hospital." That made him sit up and blink at her blearily.

"But… are you sure?"

"No, I'm not sure," Ruth said, still with patience. "I've never been in labour before so I have nothing to compare it to. But if I'm not in labour, then something is definitely wrong with the baby. Its… abnormal otherwise. Calm down," she added after a moment, seeing the panic behind his eyes. "Babies born at thirty seven weeks are very likely to be healthy. It'll be alright." She'd done her research and knew this, she wasn't saying it just to calm him down.

"Okay," he said, breathing heavily. "I'll get you to the hospital."

"Don't look so worried," she said. "It was going to happen eventually."

"I know," he said, pulling some clothes on quickly. "I just. I had three and a half weeks to prepare for this. We haven't even unpacked the car seat yet."

"Can we focus on getting the baby out of me, and then worry about car seats?" Ruth said, before gritting her teeth as she felt another contraction.

"Yes. Right," Harry said, giving himself a little shake. "Come on."

"I'm not going to the hospital like this," Ruth said. "Help me put some clothes on."  
"Ruth, is that really the most important thing?" he asked, exasperated. The glare on her face told him that he better help her get dressed or he'd be in deep trouble with a woman in labour. "Fine, I'll help you get dressed." He did, and then helped her to the car. Then he broke every speed limit in London, trying to get her to the hospital as soon as possible.

"Harry, dying in a car crash isn't on my to do list," she said as he jumped a red traffic light. "I'm not in imminent danger of giving birth in your car. Its not necessary to give me a heart attack with your driving speed!"

"I'm worried about you," he said. "I have no idea what to do with a woman in labour."

"No, but you have quite a good idea what to do with a woman to get her pregnant don't you?" she teased.

Harry flushed but didn't say anything. Instead he turned left into the hospital car park, relieved he'd got there. "Lets get you inside."

* * *

**Thanks for the reviews :) If you have the time I'd really appreciate another one, thank you.**


	30. Baby Girl or Boy?

**Warning of swearing, but as Ruth's in labour I think we can forgive her!**

* * *

"Harry, call the grid," Ruth said after yet another contraction hit her.

"What? Why?"

"Because its nine in the morning and neither of us are there," she replied. "You'll have loads of messages on your phone."

"Are you sure you'll be alright on your own?"

"No offence Harry, but in relation to the job of squeezing a seven pound human being out of my vagina, you're about as much use as a chocolate teapot." He looked very hurt by this so she relented a little. "Look, I'm glad you're here with me, I really am. Just make the call. Please?" He nodded and kissed her briefly before leaving her with the doctor who was checking everything was going smoothly. He quickly called in which took no more than a minute, but he spent an extra five outside her hospital room, calming himself. It wasn't easy, seeing Ruth in pain. But it would be worth it in the end, he reminded himself. When they had their newborn baby in their lives.

* * *

"Come on Ruth, just one more big push!" the doctor said.

"You lying bitch!" Ruth screamed. "You said just one more an hour ago!"

"Think of our baby," Harry said, kissing the top of her head. "It won't be much longer."

"And you can shut the fuck up too!" Ruth screamed. "Oh God!" An extremely painful contraction went through her and she pushed for all she was worth.

"That's it, keep going!" the doctor said. "Keep pushing!"

"I can't, this hurts!" Ruth wailed.

"This is as bad as its going to get," the doctor said. "The head's nearly out. You have to push down on the next contraction and then it'll all be over."

"Okay," Ruth breathed, feeling exhausted. She had never been this tired and in this much pain. "Oh God!" she screamed as she pushed again, squeezing Harry's hand in a death grip. Suddenly the room was filled with thin wailing cries and Ruth collapsed on the hospital bed, completely exhausted. "I am never, ever doing that ever again," Ruth breathed as her eyes closed.

"Okay," he agreed easily. "Is she all right?" Harry asked the doctor and nurses looking over the baby.

"He's just fine," the nurse said, emphasising the word "he" carefully as she handed the bundle over to Harry after Ruth nodded her permission.

"It's a boy?" Ruth asked, eyes alight.

"Yes he is," the nurse agreed as Harry fell in love with the screaming bundle. Harry rocked him gently, but it had been a long time since he'd held a baby. Their son soon stopped crying and was silent as his eyes popped open. Very, very blue.

"He's gorgeous," Harry whispered over their child.

"Let me hold him," Ruth demanded softly. Harry very carefully handed the little boy over to her. Ruth held him and Harry thought he had never seen someone hold a newborn so naturally. She looked wonderful. "Hi little man," Ruth cooed over him. "I knew your daddy was wrong. He thought you were a little girl."

"Well I got the blue eyes right," he said indignantly.

"All babies have blue eyes," Ruth said, sparing Harry a glance before turning to their brand new bundle of joy. "He's perfect."

"So, will it be James?" Harry asked, stroking their sons dark hair.

"I don't mind," she said. "I'm just glad he's here. I never _ever _want to have that experience ever again."

"I think James would suit him well," Harry said, kissing Ruth's head. "But I don't want to name him something you'd hate."

"If I hated it, you'd know," Ruth said, beaming at their baby. "Is he okay?" Ruth asked the doctor.

"Yes, he's just fine," the doctor said. "Six pounds five ounces. A handsome little boy."

"I'm sorry for screaming at you," Ruth said to Harry. "I didn't mean it, I was just in pain."

"I know," he said. "Can I hold him again?"

"Be my guest," Ruth replied, handing the precious baby over carefully. "I need some sleep. I'm exhausted. How women repeat the experience is beyond me."

"Never again?"

"Would you mind awfully if we only had the one?" Ruth asked, laying down in bed.

"No, I wouldn't mind," he said gently. "Go to sleep. I'll admire our beautiful son."

"Camera?"

"I remembered it," Harry said. It had been the last thing he'd picked up in the house, but he had at least remembered it. "If he goes to sleep I'll call the grid. Let them know."

"Mm," she said sleepily. "Night." Ruth fell asleep instantly, leaving Harry to be responsible for James all on his own. Harry sat down next to Ruth's bedside and held James very carefully. The boy's eyes blinked several times but he did absolutely nothing else.

"I love you," Harry said to his son. This was in equal measures terrifying and thrilling. He hadn't been there for his first two children and he'd regretted it immensely. He would change it for James. He was an older and (maybe) more sensible man now. As much as he hated to admit it, he should have waited to have children until he'd grown up. Not that he'd change Catherine or Graham, because he wouldn't. But he recognised his failings then. He would not repeat them.

* * *

Harry woke with a start as the door opened. James was now asleep in a cot at the bottom of Ruth's bed. Harry didn't remember putting him there, so he assumed a nurse had done it. He didn't like that, he didn't like anyone touching his son, other than Ruth. He looked up at the door and saw Malcolm there.

"I hope I'm not intruding," he said.

"No, not at all," Harry said. "You left work early?"

"No, its gone seven," Malcolm replied. "Lost track of time?"

"Yes," he said, picking James up. "Ruth's a bit tired."

"Girl or boy?" Malcolm asked, smiling at the sleeping baby.

"A little boy," Harry said proudly. "James."

"How exhausted are you?"

"Very," Ruth replied, opening her eyes. "How is he?"

"Gorgeous," Harry said.

"Hi Malcolm," she added.

"Congratulations," he said. "I don't mean to interrupt, I only came to see if everyone was okay. You didn't ring in."

"We're all fine," Harry said, smiling.

"I'll leave you in peace. I did get a little something for the baby." Malcolm opened the bag that neither Harry nor Ruth had noticed and brought out a brown teddy bear. He gave it to Ruth who thanked him. "I'll inform the others that you're all well."

"Thank you," Ruth said, just as it seemed James was starting to grizzle. Malcolm made a swift exit as James's loud cries filled the room. Harry rocked him but Ruth shook her head. "Give him here."

"I can quiet our son, I'm not incapable," he said indignantly.

"I know you're not," Ruth said. "But I'm guessing he needs feeding as my breasts feel like they're about to explode. Give him here," she added gently, just heard above James's crying. Harry did and Ruth undid her (unflattering) hospital gown before James latched on eagerly and hungrily, silencing him effectively. "I know you're capable Harry. I trust you with him. But this is something only I can do for him I'm afraid."

"Mm," he said absently as he watched James feed on his mother. It was an almost awe inspiring sight. The curve of James's cheek echoed Ruth's breast and it looked like the most natural thing in the world. So beautiful. Ruth looked too, and a gentle smile emerged on her face. "Do you really trust me with him?" Harry asked. "I mean, by any standards I was a pretty lousy father to my other two. I wouldn't blame you…"

"Hey, stop that," she said quickly. "You're a different man. You know that and I know that too. I trust you with dangerous information at work daily, why wouldn't I trust you with our boy. Yes, I know its different," she added as he looked like he wanted to interrupt. "But you would never hurt our child and I know that you love him already. I can see it in your face."

"I do," he said. "So gorgeous."

"I think for a boy, we might lean towards handsome rather than gorgeous," Ruth suggested.

"Hmm," Harry agreed. "I have a shed load of pink paint to take back to the shop."

"I told you not to do that," Ruth criticised, her voice low because of James.

"Well, I was happy," he defended. "I need to call Catherine actually. Can I leave you for a minute?"

"We'll be fine," Ruth said. Harry kissed her briefly before leaving the room and his family behind him.

* * *

**Just a small epilogue to go. Hope you enjoyed.**


	31. Epilogue 14 months on

**14 months later...**

* * *

"Come on, please?" Ruth pleaded as Harry held onto James's chubby hands. They were trying to get him to walk, but he wasn't playing ball. He'd been crawling like a fiend for ages, but he couldn't seem to make that step (quite literally) to walking.

"Ruth he's not going to do it just because we're asking him to," Harry said, helping James to sit back down when he instantly started crawling away.

"I know but I'm worried," Ruth said. "My baby books all said that babies should start walking between 10 and 14 months. He is 14 months old now! And he isn't walking. I'm worried, and I wish I wasn't."

"Don't cry," Harry said firmly, pulling her into his arms. "What else did your books say? That if a child is early in talking, there walking will be delayed later. James has been talking since he was nine months old. He's fine. And we've been to the paediatrician over your concerns and James is a happy healthy little boy. Don't become one of those panicky overprotective mothers."

"I hate you," she murmured into his chest. "You talk so much sense."

"I know." Harry soothed her for a long moment before he felt someone yanking his trouser leg.

"Dada up!" Harry smiled and picked him up, sandwiching him between Ruth and himself. Ruth tickled his stomach, making James giggle delightfully at them and melting her heart.

"You're going to be a good boy for your big sister over the weekend aren't you?" Ruth said.

"Ya!" James shouted, even though he probably wasn't following the conversation.

"I'm going to hate leaving you."

"Its not for long," Harry said. "He'll be at the wedding anyway, its just so we can have a very brief honeymoon. And have s-e-x as loudly and as often as we want to without worrying about little ears."

"Which hotel are we booked at?" Ruth asked eagerly. She was very much looking forward to their wedding which had been put on hold due to the pregnancy and their gorgeous little boy who took up all their free time.

"I'm not telling you," Harry said, putting James down as he started wiggling his legs in mid air. He put him on his feet, where he stayed, wobbling for a minute or so before he collapsed onto his bum with a "oosh!" from James for hitting the ground. "Its only fair, I don't know what dress you're wearing."

"It isn't white," Ruth warned him.

"I know. And you will look ravishingly beautiful too," he added in a low purr.

"Don't talk to me like that," she said. "Please, I go weak at the knees."

"I love how I still have this effect on you." He kissed her, chastely because of young eyes watching them. "Even after all this time."

"You always did," she said. She kissed Harry deeper, concentrating solely on him. So much so that she missed the fact James had gripped onto the coffee table, pulled himself up , stood on wobbly feet and waddled into the kitchen.

* * *

**Thanks to everyone who left reviews. They really make this worth doing. More of Harry's grief in my other story soon.**


End file.
